brain injury

[Darkover]

i broke myself with headphone of all things the bass killed the ears and brain to the point where i've given my self a very bad case of tinnitus and
a brain injury to point where i can't do anything anymore i was bedbound for 2 years only ordering takeaways off just eat so i could eat
eventually i was detained under the mental health act where i received treatment for paranoid schizophrenia with olanzapine 10mg daily,
i've been diagnosed with schizophrenia since the age of 18, i am now 35, while i was in hospital i got better to point where i wasn't bedbound anymore
i'am still in physical pain all the time, i am uncomfortable all the time,
i can feel my brain hurting from the monment i wake up to the monment i sleep
i was addicted to weed and got lot's of pleasure from listening to music and smoking weed after about a year of doing this none stop i started to develop
pain in my ears and brain but because i was addicted to weed and the pleasure of listening to music i ingnored the signs and carryed on into it became unbearable
i spent all my adult life being suicidal from the age of 18 onwards a relationship breakdown caused me to turn schizophrenic
i've had only one sexual relationship between the age of 16 and 18 i'm now 35 and havent had a relationship for 17 years
i've lived with this brain injury since july 2016 i've been to the doctors and i was referred to the ear nose and throat specialist they diagnosed me with tinnitus and prescribed me with diazepam as a muscle relaxant for the muscle in my ears that didn't help at all
they referred me for a mri scan i've had a mri scan on my brain but they didn't find anything wrong with my brain i know i have a brain injury as i am
a software engineer but i can't program anymore i've lost interest in activities that i use to enjoy due to this constant uncomfortable feeling like there is a vise around my brain tightening i have a fate worse than death it be humane to let me die
there is no treatment for my brain injury i just have to live with it and that just a living hell
i just wish that choosing to die was a human right i'll probably end up hanging myself as i've got everything i need to do so

 

[アホペンギン]

You can use VAD as a ctb method (voluntary assisted death.) Someone was allowed to do that because they had severe tinnitus. It was in the Netherlands and they're quite openminded in said country so they'll allow you to go through with VAD. You'll just have to have a few tests done on you to verify that you're not lying about your tinnitus. You might be able to get this done in some Scandinavian countries too, i haven't looked into it yet but they are openminded there so they'll let you do VAD. You can look into it because it will probably be one of the best ways to ctb for you because of your tinnitus. Unfortunately, it costs money to do it so if you don't have the money then I'm not sure what else you should do considering I don't know much about you.

 

[FuneralCry]

That just sounds so horrible what you've been through, it's certainly such a hellish existence where people suffer like that, it's inhumane how people cannot just permanently escape from all the suffering in peace. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you so desperately wish for.