notevenhere

notevenhere

Ghost Angel
Apr 27, 2023
99
Isn't it crazy how I'm only on page 2 of the suicide discussion page and there's one venting about bpd in each page. it's so common.

i literally have physical health issues and other mental illness other than bpd, severe trauma and shitty upbringing/lifestyle but it's ironic to me how the ONE THING that's actually pushing me to end it all is my BPD.

If only more people knew. It's still BPD Awareness month (May,) if only people knew how unbearable and horrible this mental illness is. It's the kind that makes you want to kill yourself.

You are so doomed. You can rationalize your emotions but you still can't stop yourself from feeling that way and everything feels so intense, that even if you try to control it, it still feels very out of control. You also feel unlovable because you're too much for everyone and you're convinced your friends hate you or are ganging up on you.


You can be in the healthiest relationship ever but you start doubting if your partner even loves you and don't get me started with your favorite person dictating your moods. And the guilt of making your FP responsible for your mental wellbeing.
 
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goodoldnoname923

goodoldnoname923

Wanting to find peace
Mar 28, 2024
834
Isn't it crazy how I'm only on page 2 of the suicide discussion page and there's one venting about bpd in each page. it's so common.

i literally have physical health issues and other mental illness other than bpd, severe trauma and shitty upbringing/lifestyle but it's ironic to me how the ONE THING that's actually pushing me to end it all is my BPD.

If only more people knew. It's still BPD Awareness month (May,) if only people knew how unbearable and horrible this mental illness is. It's the kind that makes you want to kill yourself.

You are so doomed. You can rationalize your emotions but you still can't stop yourself from feeling that way and everything feels so intense, that even if you try to control it, it still feels very out of control. You also feel unlovable because you're too much for everyone and you're convinced your friends hate you or are ganging up on you.


You can be in the healthiest relationship ever but you start doubting if your partner even loves you and don't get me started with your favorite person dictating your moods. And the guilt of making your FP responsible for your mental wellbeing.
Your emotions are constantly prone to exploding and with each passing moment and day they become harder and harder to contain until you can't anymore…then someone or muiltple people get hurt…it's awful

Being too much and being high maintenance i feel that constantly and the worst part about it isn't just a feeling of inadequacy but an objective truth…time and time again people tell me i'm too much or too hard to handle and it's difficult to argue with them

And eventually people do gang up on you and hate you (aleast in my experience) calling you an attention seeker a monster a manipulator a psychopath so on and forth the constant hatred for people with BPD

There is genuinely people in this world that think people with BPD should be locked up in asylums and be outcasted by the world i often read "people with BPD should never be trusted because their manipulative" yet they never cover their emotional disability their codependency traits their constant need for validation of others their intense emotions and more

It's awful…really awful and yea the FP/Anchor making them feel terrible or worse yet them even taking advantage of you or hating you for your impulsivty and spilting and many othwr things

It's awful….it's really awful my heart is in pain rn just writing this thinking about my FP that hates my guts and genuinely thinks i'm a horrible monster
 
JKFleck

JKFleck

Betrayed by my only friend, nothing left to lose
Oct 1, 2023
211
When my FP blocked me 8 months ago it hurts (and still do) more than getting raped by my father it's that absurd
 
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