Venting BPD hurts me so badly every day

[true-ending]

imso tired of hjavign borderline. i keep flipping between dumping it on people and burdenign them with it and bottling it up until i expllode and both ofit harms people buti just cnts top myself.i wish i was dead so much. the first time i tred to kill myself i remember sitting on my floor curled up into a ball imagining a world where someone cared enough to talk me down- but nobody ever came, because the reason i was trying to kill myself was precisely that. that nobody cared. i hate this disorder its ruinbing my life-

 

[soledad.virgen]

imso tired of hjavign borderline. i keep flipping between dumping it on people and burdenign them with it and bottling it up until i expllode and both ofit harms people buti just cnts top myself.i wish i was dead so much. the first time i tred to kill myself i remember sitting on my floor curled up into a ball imagining a world where someone cared enough to talk me down- but nobody ever came, because the reason i was trying to kill myself was precisely that. that nobody cared. i hate this disorder its ruinbing my life-

its so debilitating nd yes just like you say its either fuck things up one way or fuck things up another like UGHHHHH its impossible to control yourself

 

[selfsabotagequeen]

bpd is the literal WORST i just had a split on my boyfriend and now i hate myself, i get you bro it feels so self blaming

 

[darkest]

THAT HIT HARD I feel you so so much, the splitting fucks up everything and of course no one can have the mental capacity to deal with it so it ends up with me getting abandoned which is exactly what makes it worse, it's a never ending cycle til death...

Although I heard dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) actually helps and people do recover, it's just not available for me so I'm resorting to CTB instead.

 

[Defenestration]

imso tired of hjavign borderline. i keep flipping between dumping it on people and burdenign them with it and bottling it up until i expllode and both ofit harms people buti just cnts top myself.i wish i was dead so much. the first time i tred to kill myself i remember sitting on my floor curled up into a ball imagining a world where someone cared enough to talk me down- but nobody ever came, because the reason i was trying to kill myself was precisely that. that nobody cared. i hate this disorder its ruinbing my life-

Yes borderline is very difficult
I have bipolaire and borderline....
Very difficult with émotion

 

[mangotango0249]

BPD has ruined my fucking life. It has ruined every single relationships I had at some point. It has ruined my academic potentials. It ruined everything.

I can't seem to find purpose or reasons to live on anymore because of BPD. I'm so sorry for all of you who has been a victim of BPD. I'm so terribly guilty and ashamed for all the shitstorm I've caused in others lives. And I just need to end it soon. I'm ready.

 

[true-ending]

bpd is the literal WORST i just had a split on my boyfriend and now i hate myself, i get you bro it feels so self blaming

i split on my best friend for weeks once and every time he texted me i would get so mad i'd start punching my thigh

 

[pulleditnearlyoff]

I split at fucking everyone, at work, in therapy, in my marriage, even on strangers on the street and I believe even on myself. It's rediculous, but can't control it. Ctb is the only way to end this!