Bpd and no friends.

[onlyusefulwhenused]

Friends don't talk to me much…unless I get used as a therapist. I'm not invited to functions bc I'm an embarrassment.

Eventually my bpd comes out and I harm myself. The mental pain becomes so agonizing…like a burning agonizing pain, that I want to cut to feel actual pain.

Ik it's selfish and horrid to say, but I just want to kill myself to show people how I really hurt. I hate seeing happy people. I hate being alienated. It's not fair I cannot get assisted suicide, to die without pain, from this terrible agonizing mental illness that is bpd.

i just want to reject others. I wish I didn't let people in. I wish I was alone. I try to desensitize myself, just so I can't feel anything. I already feel halfway there, i do not have the same amount of empathy as I used to…

Plus, still no job. College was a fucking waste. I wanted to do something with myself…make money for my family, but just dead ends…like always. I'm not good enough for no one.

 

[Kyotospade]

I'm so nice and understanding to others, I help so many people but I can't ever help myself.
Bpd is horrible and I wish I died so long ago

 

[ValkyrieCain]

Bpd has thrown my life off balance, no friends here too, dropped out of university after two years, cut off from family, isolated , no one to talk too. Basically 0 motivation to do anything even use the toilet. Constant indecisiveness. I just dont know what to do atp. Im planning my way out.

 

[Undertow Mermaid]

BPD has ruined my life. I don't have friends outside a few online ones I play video games with, and even then I'll go days or weeks without a notification and they'll all hang with each other without me.

I finally stopped self harming last year and have been put on mood stabilizers. Haven't really noticed any difference though, I think about suicide less? I guess? Still get really depressed though or really angry.

BPD is literal pain. And the most fucked part is the most common cause is trauma in childhood. Born just to suffer.

 

[003]

BPD truly is a mental hell. Those who don't have it will never understand the agonizing pain BPD can create. As selfish as it is, I too hate seeing people happy. Because why can't I experience that as well? Why are they happy and no matter what I do, I always end up alone and sad? Regarding friends, I understand what it feels like. They're not around unless you're not there first. I wish I could say things get better but that would be hypocritical. I wish you luck in whatever you pursue.