446 don't be sad for him, be glad he isn't suffering anymore and has gotten what he wanted. He is named "ijustwishtodie" and he did repeat just wanting to die more than anything else so he has always wanted this and didn't view death as a negative thing at all for the person that is dead.
Thanks Namelesa, that actually helps a lot to be reminded that this is what he wanted and that he's no longer in pain or suffering. Such a huge mix of feelings for him for sure. Part of me is sad that we lost a person who had a lot of the same beliefs I had and that we'll never be able to discuss them ever again…… while part of me is glad that he's no longer in pain and suffering and part of me is even a bit "excited" (I know this may sound strange) because in a way, reading his final post kind of gave me a little more hope in that maybe death isn't as scary as some make it out to be. His final words in his post were so well said. I do hope his brother is coping. That part was hard to read.
This whole fucking world is just SAD and so messed-up right now. Can I say I'm actually a bit envious of ijustwishtodie now?! But it's just so messed-up and heartbreaking that he had to do this entire process in fear of getting caught and being all ALONE. The only people who could actually "be" with him during his final moments was this online community right here…. that I'm so thankful for. If this was just legal already, he could've been able to talk about it freely with his brother in advance to better prepare him and be surrounded by the people he cared about during his final moments. I just wish I sent ijustwishtodie more love while he was with us. I'm just so glad there were many people on here to be there for him to show him love during his final day. If only we could be with each other or the ones we love in person - THAT is what is so messed up and heartbreaking about suicides. We aren't ALLOWED to have loved ones by our side if we want to die with supportive humans holding hands, hugging, gentle running fingers through their hair, stroking their face, ect. while the person lets go. We must do our OWN research, find our OWN poison, hope we do NOT get caught, drive ourselves to a hotel room (alone), check-in (alone), prepare (alone) then die (alone). There's something seriously wrong with our systems. It baffles me that suicide is even ILLEGAL in some countries!
This became longer than I had anticipated. I'm sorry for that. I just needed to get that out of my head. Thanks for listening to my rant. I wish ijustwishtodie knew exactly how popular his game is now! I think it's a really nice way to make it part of his legacy to keep his counting game going. That's beautiful.
