Bored af and relationship problems, just venting

[freedfromvice]

I've been living the same routine for a really long time. Wake up, work from home or do a college assignment while scrolling around on youtube, watch youtube while playing a game, watch something with my gf and go to bed. The depression really hits recently. My relationship has gone cold and I'm not really attracted to her any more, even though she is objectively pretty. She treats me okay generally but there is no warmth there, love is really gone. My social skills are dusty af and I can't really go in public places easily since I'm so isolated doing work and school remotely. I've had many women come onto me in the past but I still feel uncomfortable and ugly in my own skin, I think because of the way it is with my gf right now my self esteem is in the toilet. Been in this relationship too long and focusing on school/career is just so boring. And being in this relationship so long it doesn't seem like a lifetime thing like I thought it was so feels like what am I even doing this for. I used to have lots of fun hobbies but the relationship just saps the joy out of me but I have some weird attachment I just can't let go, or it feels like I'm broken and will be alone forever if I break up. Ik it's not true, but I'm so bored and lonely and she's my only source of fake love and a modicum of daily human connection. I just want to find some smart and goofy aspie girl and whisk us away to somewhere nice and peaceful. Something's gotta change.

 

[Deo volente]

That's sad :( I hope u find a way out of that situation. Do you at least study something ur interested in?

 

[freedfromvice]

That's sad :( I hope u find a way out of that situation. Do you at least study something ur interested in?

Kinda yes kinda no. I am interested in it usually, but its been a drag recently maybe just cuz of where my heads at. It's very stimulating at least, compsci.

 

[Deo volente]

Kinda yes kinda no. I am interested in it usually, but its been a drag recently maybe just cuz of where my heads at. It's very stimulating at least, compsci.

Ya I get that. I used to study that. Lots of really cool ideas and possible projects to build but then, after a certain point, the actual implementation is the most dull tedious bullshit I ever had to work on lmaooo.

The isolation you talked abt is a real killer. I'm planning on traveling to get some perspective on things. Kinda go back to basics. It's really hard though if ur bogged down with a ton of commitments. Stuff like that has helped me in the past tho. Either getting away from situations or talking to someone outside of ur life.

 

[freedfromvice]

Ya I get that. I used to study that. Lots of really cool ideas and possible projects to build but then, after a certain point, the actual implementation is the most dull tedious bullshit I ever had to work on lmaooo.

The isolation you talked abt is a real killer. I'm planning on traveling to get some perspective on things. Kinda go back to basics. It's really hard though if ur bogged down with a ton of commitments. Stuff like that has helped me in the past tho. Either getting away from situations or talking to someone outside of ur life.

yeah travel sounds like a good idea. just gotta get out of this stupid ass apartment. it feels like there's just no one to talk to or nowhere to meet people on my wavelength irl.

 

[Deo volente]

yeah travel sounds like a good idea. just gotta get out of this stupid ass apartment. it feels like there's just no one to talk to or nowhere to meet people on my wavelength irl.

Hell yea. Ima go see some ancient ruins on my trip it's gonna be rlly sweet. As far as meeting new people and stuff, I wish I knew... The only irl people who rlly 'get' me have been like therapists and stuff which is its own can of worms. It's tough out there I hope it's not too long before you find a way.

Another thing I think ima try soon are shrooms lmao. I got a recommendation from someone I know that it rlly helped them. Who knows? anyways, good luck