Borderline

[efffervescence]

Guys I feel so done and ready to ctb. I understand that life has its good moments and for the last year or so while I've been recovering from a serious suicide attempt and I was feeling the good moments but now I've just been pretty violently sexually assaulted and I feel exactly the same as I did back when I tried to kill myself. It's not like I haven't been having horrific depressive/episodes in between but I really feel like this is the last straw. I just want to ctb because I know when it's good it's never going to last and I'm always going to end up here, and it's never as if I get sad it's the fact that I get so unbearably depressed so often that the mediocre good times just aren't worth it the absolutely miserable bad ones anymore. Does anyone else feel like this or am I just being over dramatic?

 

[DyingAlf]

I definitely don't think that you're being over dramatic.

You have just had an incredibly traumatic experience & that's on top of all the shit you've already experienced in your life.
I don't know you & am fairly new here so I don't know what has gone on in your life but I do know that being severely depressed is shit & that the previous suicide attempt you were recovering from was probably traumatic for you as well (based on the trauma I have felt from my own attempts).

I also feel like the mediocre goods times are not worth it when there's so many miserable bad ones

Hugs