Bleed out or inject something?

[Saddaisy]

So I’ve perfected placing IV catheters in myself. I can actually place 3 20 gauge at a time and get them to stay and cap them off. My question is would it be better to try to bleed out (I *can* place more just 3 is the most I’ve done at once. There’s about 2 other spots on my arm I’ve gotten one in and I’m sure I could easily get them in veins on my hand and feet. But would it be better to try to find something to just inject myself with?
I have access to almost any injectable medication (except controlled- that would get tricky)

ive waited because I haven’t seen my dad in a year and he’s coming into town this weekend and for him it’s “Christmas” for me it’s telling him goodbye and letting him know I love him.

I can’t have this fail. So I’m thinking inject something into one (maybe away from all the others) and then let all the other “open” so to speak. I just need to get a few more catheters and things to use as a tourniquet and I’m set.

my plan is Christmas Eve.. it’s going to be my “gift” to my pos partner. He Wants me dead and I want to die so this is perfect.
I also plan to leave a card with the other gifts I got him when I thought we had a chance, and I’m hoping he’ll never forgive himself for this.

 

[TowerUpright]

Bleeding out would send you into hypovolemic shock. You'd probably experience some major coldness prior to blacking out. Doesn't seem comfortable at all.

Injecting something? I'm not certain what you'd inject, but I'd do some careful thinking in your shoes, especially since you said this has to work. Injecting the wrong thing could leave you in bad shape.

I'm not encouraging or discouraging your actual decision - I just think you need more thought in this.

 

[TAW122]

I agree with Tower here. I believe injection (depending on the substance) would have a higher success rate and less discomfort than bleeding out.

 

[Saddaisy]

I’m ok with passing out. I’m already in pain 24/7 so more discomfort before death would be ok. If I go with the bleed out I’ll sit in a full bathtub and tie something around my neck so when I pass out I’ll drown.

I could get some propofol... definitely not enough (I don’t think) to kill me. Since I’d be likely to pass out before injecting enough of that. But like I said I have access to lots of different meds. Sadly the pink stuff is locked away and that would be almost impossible for me to get. (Like I would have a one in a million chance and everything would have to line up 100%....)

but I’m going to take a picture of all my choices tomorrow so I can research which would be best. I can get up to a 50ml syringe so getting the right amount isn’t an issue. It’s getting the right thing. If I’m feeling lucky I could go to my old job and access the drug box and get the pink stuff. Only problem is they have an alarm and idk if the code to the door has changed. Guess I could test that first and if it goes off just get out of there as fast as possible.

 

[Spitfire]

Bleeding out is definitely strange. I did it by slicing my radial arteries with a scalpel, and I let the blood pool up in between my legs and spilling over.

Everything begins to fade away.

 

[Saddaisy]

Everything fading away sound nice... the only part that will hurt will be the initial poke of the catheter. I’m trying to decide what gauge to use. I can get a 22 in 100% of the time, 20 90% and 18 50%. I know bigger is best for maximum blood loss but if I blow my vein I’m screwed so I’m thinking I’m go with 22s and maybe a few 20s in the really big veins. Good thing I’ve lost so much weight..: my veins pop out

 

[Spitfire]

If we are talking IV catheter than 14 gauge.

 

[Saddaisy]

18 is the biggest I have access to. I can get 24, 22, 20, and 18. I could practice more with the 18 but I’m limited in my supply with them...

 

[Spitfire]

18 is the biggest I have access to. I can get 24, 22, 20, and 18. I could practice more with the 18 but I’m limited in my supply with them...

Are you serious?

24 is no... 22, 20, 18 are also no. 16 is kind of getting there. 14 would be where it was at if... but IDK?

 

[Deleted member 19276]

If you are talking about pulmonary embolism... Yeah, IDK about that.
Bleeding out in a warm tub may be a better option.

 

[Nymph]

Sorry that you have to go by such a morbid method, at least that’s how I see it. I would not be able to stand seeing a tub of my blood

 

[Saddaisy]

I have placed 4 catheters in my arm
At once and can play at least 3-4 in other areas. I can get things i don’t have access to. And I’ve been told I have “terrible” veins. Nurses always tell me they have to go with a 22. I ask bc I’m curious. If I can get 20s in I’m happy. I also plan to take meds that slow clotting.
Also blood doesn’t bother me. I think this will be peaceful. I’ll put on my Spotify and get in a warm tub. Have some meds pulled up and hopefully just bleed out.

 

[Ghost2211]

When you say you have access to anything but controlled substances... is potassium an option?

 

[Spitfire]

I have placed 4 catheters in my arm
At once and can play at least 3-4 in other areas. I can get things i don’t have access to. And I’ve been told I have “terrible” veins. Nurses always tell me they have to go with a 22. I ask bc I’m curious. If I can get 20s in I’m happy. I also plan to take meds that slow clotting.
Also blood doesn’t bother me. I think this will be peaceful. I’ll put on my Spotify and get in a warm tub. Have some meds pulled up and hopefully just bleed out.

20s are a for sure no

 

[Nohopeinhell]

Your vein would end up collapsing and then your blood would clot. I fell asleep once in hospital and the cap fell off my cannula. It had been off hours and no major blood loss to be concerned about. I was also on blood thinning medication at the time. Not a reliable method. Veins are tiny.

 

[Saddaisy]

That’s why I’m thinking of infecting something and yes potassium is an option. I can probably get 2-3 vials without anyone noticing.
Also I’m not worried about seeing my own blood. I would love to go tonight, but I’m not alone so I would need something 100% that’s fast and effective. I can take my time on Christmas Eve. And again I don’t have access to a 14... and if a nurse ever tried to put one in my arm I’m pretty sure even the most experienced nurse would fail. A 20 is the highest I’ve ever seen one use. And

 

[Spitfire]

That’s why I’m thinking of infecting something and yes potassium is an option. I can probably get 2-3 vials without anyone noticing.
Also I’m not worried about seeing my own blood. I would love to go tonight, but I’m not alone so I would need something 100% that’s fast and effective. I can take my time on Christmas Eve. And again I don’t have access to a 14... and if a nurse ever tried to put one in my arm I’m pretty sure even the most experienced nurse would fail. A 20 is the highest I’ve ever seen one use. And

If I had access to it (still).. I think I would want to put 150mg of sux into my veins

 

[Saddaisy]

Well I might have something even better... I have a decent chance (I say 75% of success) of getting a fluid pump. If I can get that and just put it in reverse it will just do all the work for me. I got the attachments today. I have all different size catheters and caps. So I just need a fluid bag. (That one is 100% doable) and the “old” iv pump.

so if I go for this I’ll have to wait until New Year’s Eve to grab it and go New Year’s Day, but I’ll just place the catheter and take all my anxiety meds and drink some wine and think about what my life could have been.

gonna figure out for sure tomorrow if I’ll be able to get this and if so I’m set. Makes me sad I can’t give jerk face the Christmas Eve gift he deserves but what a better way for his new year to start.

 

[killjoy]

Everything fading away sound nice... the only part that will hurt will be the initial poke of the catheter. I’m trying to decide what gauge to use. I can get a 22 in 100% of the time, 20 90% and 18 50%. I know bigger is best for maximum blood loss but if I blow my vein I’m screwed so I’m thinking I’m go with 22s and maybe a few 20s in the really big veins. Good thing I’ve lost so much weight..: my veins pop out

don't you need to be in an artery to bleed out ? normal veins will clot and bleed slow but an artery pushes out with more force if i am remembering right