Venting birthday

[leaftomb]

Today was my birthday. I always hate this time of the year because I always feel stuck in the same place, and I just felt so lonely for the past few years. I genuinely had some hope this year would be different, I was out with friends to celebrate but I got so sad and so drunk I genuinely almost killed myself in front of them and I feel so terrible. Today wasn't even objectively bad but something about this day just makes me hate myself more. I have what I wished for for years (friends to celebrate with), but I feel the same way I did when I was all alone. I thought the loneliness was the problem but clearly it isn't and the only thing that has stopped me from actually ending it all is the sadness my mother would feel if i died today. I've never felt so close to actually doing it, and as selfish as it is, I wish my friends just let me die earlier, cause I genuijely regret not jumping. Lowkey a stupid thing to post but I just needed to get this out somehow. I will probably CTB soon.

 

[darkizz]

Happy birthday i guess.
Next year sure will be better.

 

[whywere]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Alcohol has a funny way of making a person, sometimes, see and feel like things are against a person and/or things do not add up.

1st off, you should give yourself a HUGE pat on the back, as you are thinking of your mother and that in itself is such a HUGE accomplishment and it shows the intelligential and personable part of you, FANTASTIC!

So many times, it is all about me, me and me and you think of others, a HUGE mark of a great person.

I have no family nor friends except here and I KNOW loneliness all too well. HOWEVER, you are family here and also a good friend to me and we can pull strength not only from each other, but the entire family called SaSu.

Please try and not beat yourself up so much, as you are a loving, caring AND thoughtful soul, so much needed in this world.

Again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY and lots of well wishes, hugs and caring thoughts to you, my good friend.

Walter

 

[Leonszabs]

Happy birthday!!! I sincerely hope that you have a good rest of your birthday and even though I don't know you, I care. I know how it feels to be alone but have friends, it sucks so bad. You end up lowkey feeling bad because it's like your friends aren't enough to keep you from being lonely. I also used to hate my birthday a lot, so I get that too. I really am sending you my love

 

[batmanreal]

happy birthday! i'm sorry that you feel so bad on a day that's meant to bring joy. i hope you find some peace soon, i'm wishing you the best.

btw i just noticed your pfp, i love Cal

 

[FadingSnowFake]

Happy birthday!
I think birthdays are like reminders of another year, similar to Christmas and New Year's. If it was another year of sameness, I tend to get depressed at the thought of another to come. I'm glad you could spend yours with friends, even if you still feel lonely, it was a birthday with friends. Wishing you all the best, for your birthday and for whatever happens next. Sending hugs your way.

 

[darksouls]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY