Venting Birthday sadness

[4lw4ysst4gn4t]

I dont know why but i always feel bad around my birthday. It feels like another reminder that i couldn't do it. I never imagined myself this old, I don't want to be this age. I dont know what i have planned for the future because ive never thought about it. I just thought i would he dead by now. I dont want responsibility, or occupations i just want to sleep. I am so fucking tired i dontvwant to do it. Every year i tell myself I promise I will do it, I will make the pain go away once and for all but then it gets a bit better. And at that moment I forget all the shit and the constant sadness and paranoia and anxiety and desire to die but then it fucking comes back and it all goes to shit again. Anyways happy birthday to me.

 

[sadfemboy:(]

happy birthday!!!!!

 

[CatLvr]

My birthday wish for you is to be gentle with yourself. Do something for yourself, even if all it is is sitting in the sunlight and feeling the breeze on your face. Or turn off all the lights, pull the shades and put on some doom rock. Whichever brings you the most joy. (I know "doom rock" doesn't sound uplifting at all but I am a child of the 60s, 70s. Vietnam Era rock is my escape. )

 

[UnluckyYogi]

Happy birthday! :)
Aging is definitely something I'm concerned about myself, I can't imagine being old.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand feeling so tired of suffering in this existence, I also just wish to sleep. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[4lw4ysst4gn4t]

My birthday wish for you is to be gentle with yourself. Do something for yourself, even if all it is is sitting in the sunlight and feeling the breeze on your face. Or turn off all the lights, pull the shades and put on some doom rock. Whichever brings you the most joy. (I know "doom rock" doesn't sound uplifting at all but I am a child of the 60s, 70s. Vietnam Era rock is my escape. )

I gave it a listen and I like it!!

 

[sleepingrabbit]

I dont know why but i always feel bad around my birthday. It feels like another reminder that i couldn't do it. I never imagined myself this old, I don't want to be this age. I dont know what i have planned for the future because ive never thought about it. I just thought i would he dead by now. I dont want responsibility, or occupations i just want to sleep. I am so fucking tired i dontvwant to do it. Every year i tell myself I promise I will do it, I will make the pain go away once and for all but then it gets a bit better. And at that moment I forget all the shit and the constant sadness and paranoia and anxiety and desire to die but then it fucking comes back and it all goes to shit again. Anyways happy birthday to me.

My birthday was recent and I get how u feel. I tried to explain to my sister that my birthday makes me feel sad normally and that even if I care about her I still feel sad on my birthday spending time with her. But she didn't really want to talk about it. Fair enough, but it felt like I couldn't express how I felt to her because of it.

Sorry for the off topic vent. In short, I'm in the same boat as you and I know it sucks.

 

[bus catcher]

Happy birthday! its my (hopefully last) birthday as well. I know what it's like to be led on false hope when it gets a bit better only for that to crumble. I'm currently spending my day planning my death as it's the only thing that makes me happy nowadays. hopefully you can find some peace as well.

 

[agony1996]

I dont know why but i always feel bad around my birthday. It feels like another reminder that i couldn't do it. I never imagined myself this old, I don't want to be this age. I dont know what i have planned for the future because ive never thought about it. I just thought i would he dead by now. I dont want responsibility, or occupations i just want to sleep. I am so fucking tired i dontvwant to do it. Every year i tell myself I promise I will do it, I will make the pain go away once and for all but then it gets a bit better. And at that moment I forget all the shit and the constant sadness and paranoia and anxiety and desire to die but then it fucking comes back and it all goes to shit again. Anyways happy birthday to me.

I completely get you I'm so depressed, suicidal and my birthday is in 5 days I'm dreading it so much. Another fucking year of this torture, are you kidding me and I do not want to hear the words happy birthday. I am am not going to do anything with my life, I can't work,
I can't leave my house and eventually the money I have saved is going to be gone, then what, I don't have a future so I know I have to ctb but there are so many obstacles. It's so fucking unfair that the universe is putting us through this.
It's pure cruelty. I don't want to say happy birthday cause I know it's not a happy one. I get you, you're not alone