Discussion Binge eating is my drug of choice. What's yours?

[StarryEyed]

For any emotion or thought that sends me for a loop, I binge eat. That's my drug of choice as I don't like other drugs. Binge eating as a drug is both the food as a drug that alters body-mind chemistry as well as the behaviour as a drug.

Last night, I had an insane binge that came out of nowhere, because I was actually in a good place - consciously anyway. But the binge either caused or brought out of me the storm within. This sometimes happens. Waking up this morning, I'm still stuffed and feeling like shit for having lost control last night. The morning after a binge is always like an emotional and physical hangover. I used to beat myself up for binging, but I've learned it doesn't help prevent the binges and in fact it just makes me feel worse. I already feel like shit so I don't need to add fuel to the fire. So instead I have learned it's extra important in the morning to be gentle with myself and at the same time allow myself to feel like shit. I just finished a really yummy coffee. Now I'm going to have a gentle shower.

What's your drug of choice? How do you manage your feelings with your drug of choice?

 

[kompyany]

I used to love binge‑eating too. It gave me such intense comfort. But it also caused skin inflammation and prediabetes. My body couldn't keep up, so I had to let it go, much to my regret.

I still love good food XD. I'll never forget this old friend of mine.

 

[StarryEyed]

I used to love binge‑eating too. It gave me such intense comfort. But it also caused skin inflammation and prediabetes. My body couldn't keep up, so I had to let it go, much to my regret.

I still love good food XD. I'll never forget this old friend of mine.

Oh I get what you mean, like having lost a comforting friend, because that's how I feel about smoking. My body gave out on me too when I had breast cancer treatment 10 years ago. It just couldn't take the smoking anymore. I miss smoking like crazy and still crave. The frenzy mixed with the comfort of smoking and binging together put me in another dimension. The escape was so powerful. Do you have a replacement drug?

 

[kompyany]

Oh I get what you mean, like having lost a comforting friend, because that's how I feel about smoking. My body gave out on me too when I had breast cancer treatment 10 years ago. It just couldn't take the smoking anymore. I miss smoking like crazy and still crave. The frenzy mixed with the comfort of smoking and binging together put me in another dimension. The escape was so powerful. Do you have a replacement drug?

To be honest, I seem to be drawn to these kinds of escape mechanisms. I don't think I've learned how to handle overwhelming emotions. Whenever my feelings spike, I can't keep up a "normal" front. I know it isn't my fault, it's just… so hard to manage.

It used to be binge‑eating. Now it's excessive sleeping. That deep‑sleep state feels so comforting, almost like getting a small taste of death. There's a saying I like: "Sleep is a little sample of death." It feels very fitting to me.

I also vent by collecting all sorts of emotionally charged texts, both positive and negative. My attention often drifts, so I dump everything into my personal folder. Sometimes I'll save hundreds of entries in one go.

Spending hours squeezing out all that emotional water from my sponge keeps me from being completely overtaken by my feelings. It works for me, and it doesn't bother anyone else. People don't like hearing others' negativity or being around someone who's highly emotional. I've been labelled hard‑to‑get‑along‑with, moody and weird because of my emotions before.

But I've noticed a downside to this coping method: it can twist your own mood in return, and it's hard to regulate. Reading sad stories makes you cry, and that does release some tension, yet it can also leave you feeling low. When you read harsh, aggressive writing, you might resonate with it, or get caught in mental conflict. It can even make you come across as more extreme for a short while.

So this approach needs to be used carefully. Still, it's not some "proper" coping skill. It's just my instinctive way of protecting myself.

 

[Bombercrab]

picking my fingernails, i dont really have fingernails anymore atp.
so i guess picking where my fingernails were

 

[never mind me]

I simply like to take all kinds of drugs. I steer clear of cigarettes, because they are way too unhealthy with little reward. But I enjoy pretty much everything else: cocaine, heroine and other opoids, benzodiazepines, MDMA, amphetamine, weed, alcohol, LSD, magic mushrooms, ketamine, 2CB,... I alternate between differente drugs /substance classes, in order to not get addicted to anything. This has been working very well for me for over 15 years by now. The only drugs I consume pretty continuously are weed and coffee (if this counts as a drug).
I also like to cut myself, but it is not nearly as nice as taking drugs.