Beware of this when asking for help!

[Teddybear]

So I decided to go and finally seek some "professional" help. I managed to google up some online counseling services and a few of them actually replied to my inquiry.

Me: "Will our talks be confidential?"

They: "Oh yeah, all our consultations are covered by confidentiallity. Its the law!"

Me: "And what about when I voice thoughts of self-harm? What about not wanting to go on living?"

They: "Oh, in cases of expected self-harm we actually have to inform police and the authorities forthwith. Its the law!"


Then why bother? I could just as well put myself into a psychward right away. I seek help to combat the fears and anxieties that make life unbearable to me - only to find out that the outcome of such an excercise would find me locked up in a lony bin.

What kind of a messed up system is this?!!

Any priest can claim secrecy, even if you confess murder to him. But the guy you pay to help you get better will call the cops on you the moment you voice thoughts of suicide to him.

Then who else am I to talk to, w/o fear of getting locked up? My dog?!

 

[hamvil]

Same experience here. It is ironic yes.

 

[jodes2]

They won't section you unless you're in imminent danger

 

[hamvil]

Truth to be told I think that they just do not have the tools to handle this. How much clinical evidence there is about suicidal people. Do academics really conduct research on this or maybe there is just not incentive to do so?

I am in the academic domanin but in the STEM field. I do not that some topics are not studied just because there is little return for academics. Maybe it is the same for suicidal studies and methods.

 

[Teddybear]

They won't section you unless you're in imminent danger

That was not what she said. Her verbatim reply was "…in cases of (expected) self-harm confidentiallity ceases".

No word about the qualifier "imminent".

So only talk to a pro if you're afraid of the rabbit on the lawn. But heaven help you if you think about jumping off that balcony and reach out *not* to do it.

 

[Soulless Angel]

Not sure where in the world you are but that is bullshit, though to be honest, I wouldn't tell anyone, no matter the confidentially laws and all that about intending to make plans to exit, I have learnt to use the words suicidal ideation and state whether its active or passive, this seems to throw them off, I openly talk about self harm, but in the sense that yes I have, no I am not in danger, I am here to learn coping ways etc, so until I have learnt that, this is my way of coping
I think with all professionals its how you word it, play it carefully and you can get help without being locked up!
Go in there, screaming about self harm and OMG I want to kill myself will raise all alarm bells,

 

[Teddybear]

Not sure where in the world you are but that is bullshit, though to be honest, I wouldn't tell anyone, no matter the confidentially laws and all that about intending to make plans to exit, I have learnt to use the words suicidal ideation and state whether its active or passive, this seems to throw them off, I openly talk about self harm, but in the sense that yes I have, no I am not in danger, I am here to learn coping ways etc, so until I have learnt that, this is my way of coping
I think with all professionals its how you word it, play it carefully and you can get help without being locked up!
Go in there, screaming about self harm and OMG I want to kill myself will raise all alarm bells,

I wasn't screaming, just the opposite. I am a brainiac, for my intellect has been my only means of escape since childhood.

That is why I am looking for someone to *rationally* explain to me a way out of my current predicament.

Yet one of my biggest problems is my fear of persecution of "them coming after me". I am not talking of imaginary men in black, but of a childhood filled with mobbing experiences and physical violence.

So me "wording my sentences carefully so as to avoid being hunted down" (not your words, just my quotes) when talking to a counselor, would - at least for me - defeat the purpose of the entire exercise.

I couldn't trust a person like this and I need someone to trust right now.

 

[Hollowillow]

(...)

Then who else am I to talk to, w/o fear of getting locked up? My dog?!

Us? Woof?

I love that you're a braniac.

 

[Teddybear]

Us? Woof?

I love that you're a braniac.

I hate it! My brain *never* stops working, its like a shark that has to keep swimming.

I don't know how *not* to think - and that's a problem, at least for me.

 

[hamvil]

I hate it! My brain *never* stops working, its like a shark that has to keep swimming.

I don't know how *not* to think - and that's a problem, at least for me.

I cannot avoid thinking about certain events in the past. I remember little wronging that some random people did to me 10 years ago. I still resent things my wife did to me 15 years ago. I just cannot let go. When I see a person I was connected with do something that is hurting me I keep thinking about it and I want to go to her and confront her.

I am also very mental or obsessed which makes me a very poor person to have at a dinner table. If some topic pops up I would start being obsessing to the point that people do not want me again next time.

 

[Teddybear]

I cannot avoid thinking about certain events in the past. I remember little wronging that some random people did to me 10 years ago. I still resent things my wife did to me 15 years ago. I just cannot let go. When I see a person I was connected with do something that is hurting me I keep thinking about it and I want to go to her and confront her.

I am also very mental or obsessed which makes me a very poor person to have at a dinner table. If some topic pops up I would start being obsessing to the point that people do not want me again next time.

With me its not rememberance. I keep analyzing, decoding, deciphering sheyit. I read about quantum physics, solar explosions, stock market news and the construction details of a bridge in Boise Idaho.

Utterly useless information to me - but my brain won't stop to take it in. Can't watch a movie w/o analyzing the plot and looking for flaws.

 

[hamvil]

With me its not rememberance. I keep analyzing, decoding, deciphering sheyit. I read about quantum physics, solar explosions, stock market news and the construction details of a bridge in Boise Idaho.

Utterly useless information to me - but my brain won't stop to take it in. Can't watch a movie w/o analyzing the plot and looking for flaws.

Instead I am pissed off at the fact I cannot retain information. I watch a lot of youtube videos like the ones you mentioned but I cannot retain any information. I do not notice error plots because I forget what has happened before in movies or tv series. For me there are no continuity plots in any tv series, it is very refreshing actually.

 

[Teddybear]

Instead I am pissed off at the fact I cannot retain information. I watch a lot of youtube videos like the ones you mentioned but I cannot retain any information. I do not notice error plots because I forget what has happened before in movies or tv series. For me there are no continuity plots in any tv series, it is very refreshing actually.

Interesting that you write that, for I am the exact opposite. Give me any technical text, manual or instruction booklet and I'll have to read it only once.

Any science video or history documentary I'll understand as long as I can gripp the language. But I also start to analyse it and seek for inconsistencies.

The problem is that I can't stop. I often switch from a movie to a documentary and even when I read a novel, I end up analysing the author's choice of words, length of sentences and type of font being used.

I find it extremly difficult - if not impossible at times - to just "relax" with an empty mind.

Take me to a sunny beach with nothing but a straw hat, and I'll compare the different grains of sand to one another (I actually did that once).

 

[LunarPyotr]

They're a scam. When it comes to psych wards then here in Germany those are so stupid. I was able to get my ass out of one, when my parents got me escorted back from Poland..
I don't remember how long I was there but it didn't even took longer than 1 week till they let me out. Yeah, while I still had depression, just because I was acting the whole time like I'm fine and really nothing is wrong with me. The report said that I'm just an Introvert and that I showed a real interest in traveling XD
If this is already possible then imagine how they take care of people who want to get help from them.
But hey, there was at least something positive that happened to me there.. I meet a girl there and now she's my GF and I'm happy with that new relationship.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

I meet a girl there and now she's my GF and I'm happy with that new relationship.

Bussin (no cap), I should get myself strapped down fr.

 

[Teddybear]

They're a scam. When it comes to psych wards then here in Germany those are so stupid. I was able to get my ass out of one, when my parents got me escorted back from Poland..
I don't remember how long I was there but it didn't even took longer than 1 week till they let me out. Yeah, while I still had depression, just because I was acting the whole time like I'm fine and really nothing is wrong with me. The report said that I'm just an Introvert and that I showed a real interest in traveling XD
If this is already possible then imagine how they take care of people who want to get help from them.
But hey, there was at least something positive that happened to me there.. I meet a girl there and now she's my GF and I'm happy with that new relationship.

When they put me inside one of them in Germania - after my first ss attempt at 9(?) years of age - I spend many weeks inside and not 1 of those "medical professionals" had the idea to ask why a kid would try to kill itself.

Seriously, they never asked me about my situation at home. What problems I had with my mother or my classmates.

They just gave me pills and made sure I wasn't behaving "irrational". I on the other hand was so scared of being left there with rapists and violent offenders, that I just sat there and smiled to make sure mommie dearest wouldn't leave me there.

To this day I am flabbergasted by the fact, that "taking away the fear factor" for a nine year old boy who had just tried to kill himself wasn't even on their agenda.

It was all about: "Just don't cause anymore trouble"

 

[LunarPyotr]

When they put me inside one of them in Germania - after my first ss attempt at 9(?) years of age - I spend many weeks inside and not 1 of those "medical professionals" had the idea to ask why a kid would try to kill itself.

Seriously, they never asked me about my situation at home. What problems I had with my mother or my classmates.

They just gave me pills and made sure I wasn't behaving "irrational". I on the other hand was so scared of being left there with rapists and violent offenders, that I just sat there and smiled to make sure mommie dearest wouldn't leave me there.

To this day I am flabbergasted by the fact, that "taking away the fear factor" for a nine year old boy who had just tried to kill himself wasn't even on their agenda.

It was all about: "Just don't cause anymore trouble"

Damn, that sound horrible.
This is why I think that all of this is just a big joke for those who own those prisons.
I know a guy who lives near Koln, he has PTSD and had some depression after he discovered something that he shouldn't suppose to find and the funniest thing was that after he was discharged from the psych ward, he had some undercover cops following him and this is not a joke. I once visited him and we noticed a strange couple following us and when we pretended that he forgot his wallet in my car and we turned around and walked towards them, those noobs just turned around and continued to follow us.
Yeah, not suspicious at all.
Sure, he had a gun license and could've tried to kill someone or himself but his lil gun was firing bullets that wouldn't be able to penetrate his skull or even reach his hearth.
The only reason why they probably were following him, was that he was an ex- neonaz* but he changed and stopped with that crap in 2013. If you look at his back very carefully, you could traces of a swastika that was removed a long time ago. Maybe someone from that psych ward reported him or something like that.

 

[Teddybear]

…
The only reason why they probably were following him, was that he was an ex- neonaz* but he changed and stopped with that crap in 2013. If you look at his back very carefully, you could traces of a swastika that was removed a long time ago. Maybe someone from that psych ward reported him or something like that.

Could you tell your friend from me - a person of color - "Thank you for getting rid of that symbol of evil", please?

 

[theboy]

What country are you from?

In my case, I called the help lines and they said they couldn't help me because I don't belong to the public health system. Basically, they told me that they are not going to help because I have money,,,

 

[Hollowillow]

I hate it! My brain *never* stops working, its like a shark that has to keep swimming.

I don't know how *not* to think - and that's a problem, at least for me.

I wonder if being restless is a symptom of fight if flight trigger... If it's from trauma I was told meditation. Listening to waves maybe. Right now I have that from poisonning or allergic reaction. Brain hurts so bad

When they put me inside one of them in Germania - after my first ss attempt at 9(?) years of age - I spend many weeks inside and not 1 of those "medical professionals" had the idea to ask why a kid would try to kill itself.

Seriously, they never asked me about my situation at home. What problems I had with my mother or my classmates.

They just gave me pills and made sure I wasn't behaving "irrational". I on the other hand was so scared of being left there with rapists and violent offenders, that I just sat there and smiled to make sure mommie dearest wouldn't leave me there.

To this day I am flabbergasted by the fact, that "taking away the fear factor" for a nine year old boy who had just tried to kill himself wasn't even on their agenda.

It was all about: "Just don't cause anymore trouble"

Same experience... I feel for you & everyone in the soul grinder that is society

 

[Teddybear]

I wonder if being restless is a symptom of fight if flight trigger... If it's from trauma I was told meditation. Listening to waves maybe. Right now I have that from poisonning or allergic reaction. Brain hurts so bad

Tried to meditate but couldn't. I can never let my mental guard down for that.

When I listen to recordngs of ocean waves I try to find out if they are truly random or not.

 

[Hollowillow]

Tried to meditate but couldn't. I can never let my mental guard down for that.

When I listen to recordngs of ocean waves I try to find out if they are truly random or not.

Your IQ must be insanely high... You do give the vibe of being higher than me & I'm max 140... It's hell.

Sometimes I goof around like a twit. I'm female so my estrogen stimulates my emotional brain more. So I get a freaky mind fuck buffet of painful emotions. Maybe you analyze everything as a coping mecanism to avoid emotions. Maybe the way to stop is to focus on emotions... I use facts to turn off my burned out emo brain. Maybe you suffered a sheer level of agony and are trying to stop ptsd flashbacks ... Maybe you're actually a robot. I think you're super cool. Even though I'm scared of bears, but I don't think you're a pedo bear. (Is it a meme or an actual way for pedo to lure?) Try to empty your mind meditating, trying to tefocus on breath or something, or body sensations. Apparently it's ok to fail most of the meditation as long as we empty our mind sometimes. Repeat the same word? Use an actual mantra? Sort of hypnosis? If it annoys you interrupt your thoughts thinking or saying "thanks but not now" or I used "shhh" out loud a lot.

Best of luck

 

[Teddybear]

My IQ is supposed to be 143+ - So what? I made a lot(!) of money in my life and spend most of it on dreams any reasonable person would have recognised as unobtainable.

All my partnerships were with women that wore the label "crazy bitch" like a badge of honor.

Now I am old, spend and drifting from one deppression into another. I can solve puzzle games like other people make a sandwich. But get me into a foreful altercation and my mind might shut down for days as a consequence.

I can stick with a technical problem for weeks if need be, but social frustration overwhelms me within seconds.

I know what "IQ" is supposed to stand for, but I don't feel intelligent at all. At times I feel more like the dumbest person on planet earth. :(

*** *** *** *** ***

Update: I made an appointent for a phone consultation for Monday morning over the weekend. Told that guy how I felt over life & death after he assured me, that he personally would only inform authorities in case of *imminent* danger of self harm.

Now I find a two liner in my inbox, informing me that his calendar has changed and the new slot he got available for me is next week. Bang!

Guess I'll be ready for "imminent self-harm" by then.