My bestfriend took SN a couple of weeks ago and died. She left a paper with Stan's method so I googled it and now i am here. I had no idea she even wanted to die. I have spent the past couple of weeks reading everyones posts to try and find her posts to see what she was thinking to help get closure. She was deaf and had 2 cochlear implants. Did anyone talk to her?
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Shu
As above, So Below.
- Jan 21, 2022
- 2,487
If you know her user name you can search for her.
Edit: sorry I just realized if you knew their username I guess you would have found them by now.
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Yeah I know her well. It is confirmed she died from SN. Already been cremated and I have to write a speech to read at the funeral. Just wanting to find her posts so I could read her last thoughts. I spoke to her everyday up until the day before she died. EVERY single day. I knew she was dealing with depression and drinking but did not know she was suicidal. Sent me a box of stuff a week before she did it. I missed the idea she was suicidal. She was curious about the after life and near death experiences. She liked morbid stuff and so do I, but it did not occur to me she was suicidal. She had the SN method written out and someone found it so I googled it and found out about this website. I was just curious what she was feeling because she hid that from me. She had the extra glass made up and everything but she died with the first one.
her phone is locked. Its an android
Shu
As above, So Below.
- Jan 21, 2022
- 2,487
I'm so sorry for your loss.. that is terrible :/ if you know the date maybe we can fi d her that way.
friendofbirds
Member
- Jun 6, 2022
- 63
i am so sorry this happened to you. grief is the ultimate wound, and it never heals; the pain only dulls. i know this is hollow coming from a stranger on a suicide forum but i really do hope it gets easier for you to cope with soon
Shu
As above, So Below.
- Jan 21, 2022
- 2,487
Did she recently have a partner or broke up/lost a partner and was still upset over it?
I don't blame anyone from here at all. She makes her own choices. I am just the curious best friend looking for closure
Brianiskillingme
Slowly Dying Inside
- Jan 18, 2022
- 148
Was her user name Imissyoumydarling? She died around that time using SN. Perhaps look up that name, it might be her.
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Shu
As above, So Below.
- Jan 21, 2022
- 2,487
Also was she at a hotel? Sorry for asking these questions I just might be able to find her if she posted anything. I do remember a user mentioning that they were picking up the medication and heading to a hotel but I'm not sure if it was them or not.
I'm thinking that it could be @Imissyoumydarling but I would need more information
This is what I'm thinking as well. Would need a bit more info.
I'm not exactly sure if they are the user that mention picking up the medication and heading to the hotel I'm going to read their posts to see
Many people only read the forum and never post. They often don't even have accounts. You may, unfortunately find nothing but you could search the goodbye threads around that date. It would still be guess work bur I guess knowing her well you stand a chance of recognising her writing style. If you can obtain her IP address you may be able to submit it to admin and ask them to confirm whether anyone created an account from that IP address. It's tentative as there are many with ill intentions toward the forum and even it's membership and such information might be used against the forum so communication may reflect caution to that effect if you go down that route.
I already accept it for the most part. I'm just curious. For the record I am not able to grieve her death like a normal one. If it is natural causes, terminal illness, or accident I would feel heartbroken. I am actually angry and sad. I feel like she just said "oh well, screw everyone." This will be something I will always wonder if I could have prevented it. Maybe I should have been paying closer attention, maybe I could have tried harder. I did tell her how much I valued our friendship and that she was one of my best friends. I never told her she WAS my ONLY bestfriend even though she was. I feel regret. I will always wonder if I could have stopped it. She was always onto the next hobby or interest. This one just happened to be death and the afterlife. I was hoping it would pass to more positive things like they were before the past few months. She always went "all in" to her interests so this was no different. I just wish she did not die.
I'm thinking hopeless77. She died at home alone
I get it. I am just looking for closure but I will eventually get closure in the long run. Just thought I would try. I know everyone makes there own decisions. Its no ones fault. I am not mad. Just got curious
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Not sure at all. Just typed in SN method she wrote down and I ended up here. I really have no clue
Shu
As above, So Below.
- Jan 21, 2022
- 2,487
Just curious where you got Hopeless77 from. Did someone mention that name to you?
Trying to learn what she went through and maybe what she was thinking. I have no clue.
No but if she was someone on here it sounded most like her
I'm wanting to learn about the thoughts people have so I can try to understand what she may have been thinking. It is my way of grieving I guess
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Was she 44-45? 77 could be the birth year. People typically put their favorite number or birth year in the username.
Yes I think so. Maybe she didn't want to let me know it still bothered her because I told her to get over him. I wish I didn't do that
I figured she would do better without him. She was miserable with him for a long time so her brother and I encouraged her to leave and she did but maybe she really was not ready to. She really loved him and I think this had A LOT to do with it. She never came out of the depression when they broke up. I feel guilty about that too but learned a lesson too late unfortunately
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Shu
As above, So Below.
- Jan 21, 2022
- 2,487
no not at all
I am the bestfriend that comes looking on the suicide site for their bestfriend. Not to blame, but to try and understand. She was on Effexor and drank a lot which is a recipe for disaster for some people. Antidepressants have a backbox warning to cause suicide. Not just feeling low or stressed. Suicide. All of the SSRI's and SNRI's can have that side effect. She just started taking it in March and now she's gone. She drank a lot and could not stop, and I think it compounded the feelings of suicide. After reading a lot of posts I wondered if maybe some people on here could have the same problem and not know why. I'm just trying to it figure it out even though I will probably never know. Its just how I am processing it in my own way.
After having a constant source of communication for 2 and a half years and its gone, its tough. I want to be supportive of what she wanted but I miss her so much at the same time. And I'm angry she did it because she was so determined I just wish she put it towards her career. She wanted to be a doctor. She lost the support to pay for it but she was a passionate person and studying it made her so happy. I'm just sad and grieving. I'm sorry if it upsets anyone, I am just lonely without her.
I am devestated
Past couple of nights I had nightmares and woke up sweating so bad I had to change my clothes and wash my blankets this morning. My heart is just broken
I do not know where she learned about it no clue but when I googled it I ended up here so here I am
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Fathead, I am sorry for your loss. You need to know that when someone is at that point, there's nothing you could have done to help. Forcing her to get treatment would have caused resentment. If she was here, she had thought it through very well. Most people here seem to hang on longer because of this group, because other people on here actually understand. You see, when you have a mental illness, everyone shuns you as if you are contagious. Then, if you have an actual suicide attempt, you are permanently broken in everyones mind. It's awful.
I could have sworn @Imissyoumydarling had lost a partner to illness. I may be wrong.
Oddly I can't find @hopeless77 post history. There is another @hopeless-77 if that any use.
Oddly I can't find @hopeless77 post history. There is another @hopeless-77 if that any use.
Police know the sites especially if she used a pc. Her family has no inclination as to why she did this? Did she ever ask your opinion on suicide?
I am very sorry for your loss, I have searched for effexor by date and I have found a user who was on May 24 and 25. could it be hopeless2019 maybe?
she became fascinated with near death experiences for a few months before. Read books on the afterlife and stuff. She was kind of morbid so i didn't think anything of it. It was normal behavior
peanuts
Member
- May 27, 2022
- 99
Which country are you from? @Imissyoumydarling died around that time but is in New Zealand. I think her name was Savannah?
Apparently people have been receiving emails asking for their social media links etc in an attempt to 'get to know them better because they're oh so facinating'. If you value your privacy please steer clear of offering up such info. It's directly identifying. Whatever the actual intent there's just so much risk involved. Not just from the 'karens' or whatever the current colloquial term is but there are predators of a very serious nature in the world and the internet is not a srparate entity to that world. In fact it's a tool/facility if anything. It's no reflection on this thread or the petson in question. It's just something that seems poignant in isssues surrounding it.
I'm sorry for OP losing their friend unexpectedly and so suddenly. FWIW there would hqve been very little you could have done for her. Even stopping her with force would not have necessarily helped in the long term and may have damaged your friendship before she ultimately succeeded in taking her own life anyway. Its not certain obviously. I'm just saying you're not to blame in this. Before I got sick and saw the time coming that it would be necessary to take my oen life I habe never really considered the need to do so. I did enjoy media surrounding the topic at times and generally enjoyed the type of media that explored the harsher sides of the human condition. It's actually become more popular now than ever. Post apocalyptic fiction is no longer reserved to the odd Mad Max film or Anime. It doesn't indicate a desire to actually be a part of it for real. You can't be expected to have seen it coming. Don't take on a burden that serves no purpose and only exists in your fears. It does you nore your departed friend any favours. All the best to you.
I'm sorry for OP losing their friend unexpectedly and so suddenly. FWIW there would hqve been very little you could have done for her. Even stopping her with force would not have necessarily helped in the long term and may have damaged your friendship before she ultimately succeeded in taking her own life anyway. Its not certain obviously. I'm just saying you're not to blame in this. Before I got sick and saw the time coming that it would be necessary to take my oen life I habe never really considered the need to do so. I did enjoy media surrounding the topic at times and generally enjoyed the type of media that explored the harsher sides of the human condition. It's actually become more popular now than ever. Post apocalyptic fiction is no longer reserved to the odd Mad Max film or Anime. It doesn't indicate a desire to actually be a part of it for real. You can't be expected to have seen it coming. Don't take on a burden that serves no purpose and only exists in your fears. It does you nore your departed friend any favours. All the best to you.
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Fadeawaaaay
Visionary
- Nov 12, 2021
- 2,160
