I was originally planning to ctb with castor seeds (ricin) (just arrived today in the mail) and/or oleander (we have several plants in planters in the backyard heavy with seed pods) on New Years' Eve. My concern, of course, was if it would really kill me, and if not, what I would experience in the process (I'd read about the horrific pain, etc.) and what I would be like after (brain damage, etc.). This cannot be left to chance, whatever I do, I must transition from here, it must be successful. So I'm leaning more towards N now but I'll have to hold off until I get the funds to buy it from A (he charges a lot when one can get it in Mexico for so much less), but I guess he needs to cover himself well in order to do this for us. Still, it would be less expensive to get it from him than travel to Mexico and all the expenses involved in that. Getting it from him, too, would allow me to ctb at home rather than some strange country in a lousy hotel room. I'll post a little more in a "plan" thread. Thanks for more info, Stillnotsure!
Blessings, Love and Peace to you,
P aka onegoodreason