Help Best method to CTB

[darkhorse256]

Hi all, I live in a country where possession of SN is illegal. The last thing I want is to be thrown in prison when I'm already depressed. Other drugs are also controlled very tightly in my country so I don't think a chemical suicide would be that effective. The only chemicals/substances I have now are the drugs from my psychiatrist (which are difficult to OD on) and common household chemicals like bleach or detergent. I heard that the latter is a very painful way to go and since I live with my parents, I don't want them to find me and mess up my attempt. Guns are also illegal where I live, so I can't blast my brains out either. I've considered a few options: hanging (partial suspension), drowning (since I can't swim) or jumping (there's a 30 floor building close to where I live).

My issues with the 3 methods are as follows:

1) Partial suspension: I'm afraid I won't tie the knot properly or I'll mess up the placement of the knot. I'm a woman and I'm not exactly sure where the carotid artery is. I don't have an adam's apple to gauge where it's at so I'm not sure where the artery even is. I also have PTSD since my abuser tried to do something called an "artery choke" so I can't even have anything near my neck.

2) Drowning: Seems like the best method for me. There are some "deserted" islands near my country so I should be able to just go to a beach and drown myself in the ocean. Also, I can't chicken out of this method, because I literally won't be able to save myself. Only con of this method would be that by body most likely won't be found, so my boyfriend won't have any closure when I die.

3) Jumping: I'm not sure if this will work. There's a 30 floor building and I think that's enough to kill me, but I'm not sure. My only worry is that I will talk myself out of it and never actually jump.

Other methods: SN in another country

I was thinking of going over to a foreign country for a "holiday" and just ordering SN there instead. I'm not sure about the legality of that, though.

 

[Jumper Geo]

So sorry you have been abused in such a horrendous way and it has come to you wanting to ctb I hope you have explored all your options, can't you talk to your boyfriend or someone you trust, there are various options you can try and plenty of information on this forum to explore, this link will show you a picture of where your carotid artery is but for reasons you spoke of I don't think it's the way to go.

SN is a very popular and effective method to ctb but illegal in your Country is it available to the meat producers butchers, meat markets etc, if so you could see if they will sell you a small amount no questions asked.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/the-night-night-method-mega-thread.6834/

I hope you can find peace in whatever decision you make.

Best wishes

Geo

 

[faust]

Hello,
I cannot say which method would be better for you because your decision should be based only on your opinion.
I can only say some things which won't interfere with your choice.
First of all, it would be a mistake to think that after drowning you won't be found. Since you do not mention any weights, our bodies when we die are floating perfectly so you will be found on the shore one day anyway.
Second thing, a holiday would be nice even if you do not manage to get SN.
And the last one, if you need to talk to us, feel free to do that

 

[calendulo]

It's weird that a food preservative was illegal, but I can be wrong.....

Between your three choices, I will choose jumping, no doubt.

 

[BridgeJumper]

Jumping all the way
I rather risk a 2% chance of becoming a vegetable than 50% chance of failing (according to that old Lost All Hope website)

 

[jgm63]

You mentioned your boyfriend not having any closure.
Something like this could be used :
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/sending-delayed-scheduled-messages-goodbye-notes-etc.32532/

A 30 floor building would almost certainly be fatal, especially if you would land on a hard surface.
Many people have fatal jumps from 10 floors.

Note : As always, please note that I strongly encourage you to seek help with whatever is troubling you. With the right help things can improve. There are many sources of help if you look and reach out. Please seek assistance in any and every way possible. You alone must decide upon your actions and take full responsibility for them, and you should always favour seeking help and keeping out of harm's way.

 

[darkhorse256]

Thank you all for your replies. I guess jumping seems to be the best option. Would drowning work too if I don't know how to swim? I'm guessing that my body wouldn't be able to save itself under that circumstance.

 

[jgm63]

Thank you all for your replies. I guess jumping seems to be the best option. Would drowning work too if I don't know how to swim? I'm guessing that my body wouldn't be able to save itself under that circumstance.

I suggest doing some research. This site has a good search and advanced search function.
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