Venting Benzodiazepine withdrawal

[Cantbereal]

Anyone going through or been through a long, hard benzo withdrawal? 3 years ago klonopin stopped working. I asked a psychiatrist to help. 30 years on it taken as prescribed. She took me off in 2 weeks. I went crazy in ways normal people could never understand. I overdosed and was put back on, .but it ruined my brain and body. The effects have snowballed out of control. Caused chemical anxiety and depression. Akathesia. Then physical symptoms that ripped my life apart. I lost my job, family and health. Been put on meds I wouldn't have needed that have ruined me. Gaba receptors are in our brain and stomach. You can't treat simple things like vitamin deficiencies or eat certain foods without increasing your withdrawal symptoms. I have toenail fungus, for example, that I believe has gotten so bad I need antifungal medicine. But if I take that I increase the chance of severe symptoms. They burn. Every time I see a dr I get ruined. I had horrible sacrum pain that I couldn't sit up against any chair or couch I had to stand for hours. I went for MRI with contrast and now I have gadolinium POISONING. Any hope to get that toxic metal out I can't do bc of....... benzo withdrawal syndrome. I'm tapering now .but my brain reacted 3 years ago. I feel no joy, nothing. I pretend my family is dead so I can go on. They abandoned me. Too much for them. Then the pain started. Arms got weak couldn't move them much or hold a cup. Then I got severe tmj. My body turned to stone like a statue. My bed felt like concrete. My hips then joined in the pain. One day I just couldn't walk up the stairs. I'm lost. Deep bone pain, burning skin, circulation issues, now severe gi issues. I was 180 lb my adult life. I'm 50 now and am 101 lb as of today. I'm bedbound 80 % . Housebound. I'm like a terminal illness but no pain med helps bc my CNS is so fucked. I need a way out. My only person in my life is my husband. Hes abusive but I rely on him. There's much more. We are facing foreclosure. Family knows. Do nothing. I reached out to my 30 year old daughter to get help to seek functional dr. She said maybe a GoFundMe would help but never did it. My husband has no life. We live a horrible existence. Just venting. I need out. I tried hanging couldn't do it. Physically it was hard to bend etc. But SI was strong. I have sn as an option but cant take the correct ae bc of side effects. Why can the medical community ruin us but force us to live? I guess unless you live it you can't fathom the mental or physical can be this bad.
If you read all this thanks. I need to vent. Hopeless. Scared to take an and fail with gi issues and ae causing side effects. I wish I could get N. Oh to be 5 years back and know to do things differently.

 

[Rairii]

Though I was not on it as nearly as long as you, only a few years and taken as prescribed, I do understand the freaking horrors of withdrawal from this stupid class of drugs. It feels impossible to taper off of this and doctors somehow want me to stop taking it at the lowest dose prescribed but when I do I get the worst symptoms ever, the involuntary body movements are the ones that I cant stand the most. I've been trying to taper off of this for like six months now? still not close to being fully off yet. I'm so sorry that your life is like this right now, it's not fair. I wish things could be better for you.

 

[Cantbereal]

Though I was not on it as nearly as long as you, only a few years and taken as prescribed, I do understand the freaking horrors of withdrawal from this stupid class of drugs. It feels impossible to taper off of this and doctors somehow want me to stop taking it at the lowest dose prescribed but when I do I get the worst symptoms ever, the involuntary body movements are the ones that I cant stand the most. I've been trying to taper off of this for like six months now? still not close to being fully off yet. I'm so sorry that your life is like this right now, it's not fair. I wish things could be better for you.

Thank you. Akathesia is worst. I paced for 12 hours after GB surgery. Then 2 more days. Internal akathesia mixed with other is torture. Feel like hulk inside you biting yourself to get the feeling to stop. It's fucking inhumane............ drs should be forced to go through this. I had no idea what a benzo was until it stopped working. Thank you. I got down 25%. Then went back up. I'm only starting again maybe 4% down.

 

[Rairii]

Thank you. Akathesia is worst. I paced for 12 hours after GB surgery. Then 2 more days. Internal akathesia mixed with other is torture. Feel like hulk inside you biting yourself to get the feeling to stop. It's fucking inhumane............ drs should be forced to go through this. I had no idea what a benzo was until it stopped working. Thank you. I got down 25%. Then went back up. I'm only starting again maybe 4% down.

yeah, its defiantly better to go slower. I have managed to get down to 1mg of klonopin from 4mg. This last bit is becoming a hassle to do, feels nearly impossible to be honest. I tried to go down by 50% with the 1mg and had to go right back up because the symptoms were unbearable. I'm gonna try to do 25% and see if its any better. Ugh doctors really should be forced to take it.

I remember the last time I was in the hospital they just stopped it abruptly and did not believe me that I could have withdrawal symptoms/they thought the symptoms were no big deal. All because they didn't want to give me an addictive drug even though I've been on it for years lol. Then of course they started to act like I had a drug addiction because I kept asking for them to put me back on it because the withdrawal was so horrible. Like they're literal medical professionals, they should know there's a difference between dependency and addiction and that its freaking dangerous to come off of these drugs, especially cold turkey.

 

[Cantbereal]

I'm flagged as a drug seeker bc of this. 30 years never took more than prescribed. I hope they burn in hell.
My brain never recovered so slow, whatever i'm in tolerance. I never know what will be. Physical pain too. My brain feels pain like concrete bed!!!!!!! No lie.

 

[jodes2]

Is there no chance of recovery then? Sorry you're suffering so much

 

[Cantbereal]

My tmj so bad I find bits of teeth. Clenching so hard bc the muscle relaxer is gone. Feel like i'm being pushed into bed. Ribs feel crushed. The most horrible physical on top of mental. I don't know how i'm here. I almost killed my dogs in a rage.

Is there no chance of recovery then? Sorry you're suffering so much

Feels not. The gadolinium POISONING is def not recoverable.

 

[SpiroSundae]

Benzos are evil. I was eating so many xanax bars for years. I've been slowly tapering with the help of my psychiatrist, and its been brutal. im sorry you know this pain

 

[TydalWave]

I was never prescribed benzos, but I tried them for the first time recently to test them out for the SN method.

Needless to say I had no tolerance but they were such a great sleep aid I took them for a week straight. Yeah, that was a mistake.

I can't imagine the withdrawal you must have gone through for taking them that long, because I was in a dark place for days after locking the rest away. My depression got so bad there was a day I didn't want to CTB because I didn't trust myself anymore my anxiety was so extreme.

I can't believe doctors prescribe these regularly. I hate the pharmaceutical industry.