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Nurse T

Student
Aug 23, 2020
100
Iv managed to get hold of diazepam, I plan to take it with Alcohol as this heightens the effects of the Benzo' Iv been battling for a long time, but my heart has never felt so broken and aching, a longing ache for it all to be over!! I can't seem to even look a few days ahead!! Nothing seems to matter anymore!! I walked out of work today, I only started 3 weeks ago, had a horrible incident, I'm one of those people drama follows me around, it will never end. I feel horrendous guilt leaving people behind, and failing the people who have tried to help, I recently connected with a really great person, and they see beyond my negativity and hopelessness but I don't!! After reading people's experiences on here, I don't think Iv ever been so certain about CTB to summer land!! I plan to do it tomorrow, part of me wants to get on with it now, but I don't have as much meds on me as I'd like so I need to go home and prepare for tomorrow and collect the rest! One more night of pretending everything is fine, because explaining it's not is too difficult.
 
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O

overandout

Experienced
Feb 28, 2019
234
Iv managed to get hold of diazepam, I plan to take it with Alcohol as this heightens the effects of the Benzo' Iv been battling for a long time, but my heart has never felt so broken and aching, a longing ache for it all to be over!! I can't seem to even look a few days ahead!! Nothing seems to matter anymore!! I walked out of work today, I only started 3 weeks ago, had a horrible incident, I'm one of those people drama follows me around, it will never end. I feel horrendous guilt leaving people behind, and failing the people who have tried to help, I recently connected with a really great person, and they see beyond my negativity and hopelessness but I don't!! After reading people's experiences on here, I don't think Iv ever been so certain about CTB to summer land!! I plan to do it tomorrow, part of me wants to get on with it now, but I don't have as much meds on me as I'd like so I need to go home and prepare for tomorrow and collect the rest! One more night of pretending everything is fine, because explaining it's not is too difficult.

How did you get hold of diazepam and how many mg will you take? It's meant to be successful with opiates combined but hope you are successful. Sorry life took you to this point.
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,705
@Nurse T, I'm sorry about everything that's led you to this. I hope you've thought this through calmly and carefully; I wouldn't want you to do anything to make things worse for yourself. I wish you the best outcomes of your choices.
 
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Nurse T

Student
Aug 23, 2020
100
How did you get hold of diazepam and how many mg will you take? It's meant to be successful with opiates combined but hope you are successful. Sorry life took you to this point.
Stockpiling prescriptions,
 
Emily_Numb

Emily_Numb

Wizard
Jan 14, 2020
657
You'd need an inordinate amount of Benzos to CTB. How many pills @ what mg do you have?
 
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Infinite Conscious

Infinite Conscious

Experienced
Aug 18, 2020
282
When was the last time anybody really succeeded in dying by mixing only diazepam and alcohol?
If it was that easy, it would be by far the most used method.

Some people get into this story without any prior research and based only on ancient misconceptions and rumors.
No, mixing some benzos+alcohol, or simply cutting your wrists sideways, or jumping into water from 50m high bridges - WILL NOT kill you.
Suicide is the most serious act of your life and you'll need to do a ton of research before you even come close to CTB.
 
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A

alexit

Mage
Jun 3, 2020
509
I'm torn whether to point out that I have tried this many times. Even tried a combo of a whole bottle of benzos and gulping 192 proof vodka. Acted erratically and then slept is all that happened.
 
Cherrypea

Cherrypea

I remember when all this will be again
May 3, 2020
414
I don't think it's possible sweetie. Have a look through the resources on here, it really calmed me down when I was in a high anxiety stage recently. It's was good to know about the methods that do work and imagining myself doing them.
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,705
Here's a link to those resources, @Nurse T:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/resource-compilation.3/

You need to research this calmly and think this all through. Please be careful. x
 
N

Nurse T

Student
Aug 23, 2020
100
When was the last time anybody really succeeded in dying by mixing only diazepam and alcohol?
If it was that easy, it would be by far the most used method.

Some people get into this story without any prior research and based only on ancient misconceptions and rumors.
No, mixing some benzos+alcohol, or simply cutting your wrists sideways, or jumping into water from 50m high bridges - WILL NOT kill you.
Suicide is the most serious act of your life and you'll need to do a ton of research before you even come close to CTB.
Thanks for the Info, I have researched it, I do have other meds to take aswell, but I don't wish to disclose here.
 
Infinite Conscious

Infinite Conscious

Experienced
Aug 18, 2020
282
Thanks for the Info, I have researched it, I do have other meds to take aswell, but I don't wish to disclose here.

Why not?

Isn't it in your best interest to "disclose" such info, so more informed individuals could suggest if you in fact have what you need and in sufficient quantities?
If you plan to OD with pills, you better have some really strong stuff which is really hard to get, like Nembutal, Cyanide, a lot of Amitriptyline along with a lot of sedatives... you need specific cocktails in order to succeed, and "not disclosing" will only work against you.

Just a benevolent comment.
 
Last edited:
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N

Nurse T

Student
Aug 23, 2020
100
Why not?

Isn't it in your best interest to "disclose" such info, so more informed individuals could suggest if you in fact have what you need and in sufficient quantities?
If you plan to OD with pills, you better have some really strong stuff which is really hard to get, like Nembutal, Cyanide, a lot of Amitriptyline along with a lot of sedatives... you need specific cocktails in order to succeed, and "not disclosing" will only work against you.

Just a benevolent comment.
I have a cardiac condition and I'm on 2 lots of meds to slow the heart. They are fairly high doses, I m new to this, Iv never actually been ready to do it, but have been getting ready for it! I havnt messaged them as you can only get them prescribed by a cardiologist. I'm also in the health profession, so I do have medical knowledge. I posted hear to vent what's in my head, not be mocked that I'm serious at doing it.
 
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A

alexit

Mage
Jun 3, 2020
509
It's not mocking. It's just that for those of us who have tried methods we want people to avoid suffering. I'm sorry things have taken you to a place where you want to end your life. It's definitely a line in the sand and you should think things through, not do anything rash. I would recommend seeking help but I respect if your decision is to end your life.
 
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Emily_Numb

Emily_Numb

Wizard
Jan 14, 2020
657
I have a cardiac condition and I'm on 2 lots of meds to slow the heart. They are fairly high doses, I m new to this, Iv never actually been ready to do it, but have been getting ready for it! I havnt messaged them as you can only get them prescribed by a cardiologist. I'm also in the health profession, so I do have medical knowledge. I posted hear to vent what's in my head, not be mocked that I'm serious at doing it.
If you're in healthcare then you really should know that benzos + alcohol and some random heart meds, AINT gonna kill you. But you do you hun. *smh*
 
A

Aap

Enlightened
Apr 26, 2020
1,856
no mocking here, but since you have medical knowledge, I'm sure you have researched the incidence of death from benzos as well as benzos combined with alcohol. No idea what other meds you have. I'm sure you are also aware of bezoar formation.
 
A

alexit

Mage
Jun 3, 2020
509
no mocking here, but since you have medical knowledge, I'm sure you have researched the incidence of death from benzos as well as benzos combined with alcohol. No idea what other meds you have. I'm sure you are also aware of bezoar formation.
I don't. I just googled it but what does it have to do with CTB?
 
Anthagonos

Anthagonos

Hablo español
Aug 9, 2020
201
If you're in healthcare then you really should know that benzos + alcohol and some random heart meds, AINT gonna kill you. But you do you hun. *smh*
What about benzos, amitriptilyne (+10 grams) and alcohol together?
 
Cherrypea

Cherrypea

I remember when all this will be again
May 3, 2020
414
How are you today?
 
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