N
Nurse T
Student
- Aug 23, 2020
- 100
Iv managed to get hold of diazepam, I plan to take it with Alcohol as this heightens the effects of the Benzo' Iv been battling for a long time, but my heart has never felt so broken and aching, a longing ache for it all to be over!! I can't seem to even look a few days ahead!! Nothing seems to matter anymore!! I walked out of work today, I only started 3 weeks ago, had a horrible incident, I'm one of those people drama follows me around, it will never end. I feel horrendous guilt leaving people behind, and failing the people who have tried to help, I recently connected with a really great person, and they see beyond my negativity and hopelessness but I don't!! After reading people's experiences on here, I don't think Iv ever been so certain about CTB to summer land!! I plan to do it tomorrow, part of me wants to get on with it now, but I don't have as much meds on me as I'd like so I need to go home and prepare for tomorrow and collect the rest! One more night of pretending everything is fine, because explaining it's not is too difficult.