being told you’re ‘too young to ctb’

[ScubaCTB]

I hear this almost every time I talk about my thoughts…

I'm early 20s but to me that doesn't matter. I've experienced enough trauma to last me a lifetime leaving me with debilitating ptsd with bipolar on top. I feel that I've done all that I could've and wanted to do in my life so why is my age so significant.

I'm not sure if anyone else has experienced this too?

It's an absolute crock. I should have exited in my 20s. Now I'm in my 40s and have nearly 25 extra years of unnecessary trauma, suffering, and uselessness, and going through the motions everyday in a meaningless life. I'm so far removed from my happy days in the 80s prior to my parents' divorce, that I truly don't even believe I'm capable of genuinely smiling anymore. Last time was with my ex who turned out to be married and crushed my heart...the nail in the coffin for me to CTB.

You never asked to be born in this evil world. It's never too early. All I'll say is you definitely do not want to be my age, alone, no friends, no family, no kids, no girlfriend/wife, and in a useless, meaningless, utterly awful existence.

 

[Abyssal]

Everyone can't recover. Not all problems are solvables. I wish I had the right to kill myself at 15.

I wish I died early on as well, but the system much of the world lives in is pretty bad for minors who are mentally ill. Ultimately it's the system at fault, but whenever I hear of a child taking their life I always wonder if their situation could've improved is they had the freedom to escape. It's one of those things you can't know until you get the chance to try.

 

[ihavenothingleft]

I haven't been told that bur then again I don't go around telling people as I know what people are like. I just keep it to myself
I haven't been told that bur then again I don't go around telling people as I know what people are like. I just keep it to myself