G
Gaming Chicken
Waiting for the bus
- Dec 7, 2022
- 26
Got in an argument with my father about a week ago. He told me he knew I was suicidal (I had no intention of ever mentioning it to him) and that I should just get over it. Because he "knows" me and if I really was idve done it by now. I don't know how he expected me to feel about it, but o almost took a neck tie and hung myself that night. A part of me thinks that i shouldhave just to show him the impact that his words can have, while another part of me thinks that he just said that to help push me towards the decision to kms. He has no regard for anyone but himself so it could easily be his way of getting me out of his life. He's always been emotionally abusive which largely contributed to my depersonalization, a defense mechanism of sorts so that I can roll with the punches without having anything affect me. If I'm distant and emotionally detached then nothing can really hurt me. Granted, the last thing I wanna do when I leave this wretched planet is make things worse for those I leave behind, so I don't know if his comments will stick with him when I'm gone, or if he'll just be relieved that I'd finally followed through.