Being the builled unpopular girl at school has damaged my self esteem in to adulthood.

[FireFox]

I hated school mainly because of the bullying and struggling to fit in. Being the builled unpopular girl at school has damaged my self esteem in to adulthood.

When I was builled at school I always fought back. I was not scared to hit and insult the builles. I gotten in to a lot of fights in school along with the detentions. I got buillied mainly for my looks, my race,not having friends, the neighbourhood I lived in and many other things.

Being builled at school taught to me stand on my own and not be afraid but sometimes I wish someone stood up for me more. The friends I did have at school just stood there and did nothing. They were more annoyed at me distrputing the class than at bully who started it.

In adulthood people see me as this confident person who not afraid to express their opinions even the most controversial however in the inside I feel like an outsider who struggles to fit in anywhere and is desperate to belong, be loved by a man and no longer feels unwanted.
As I grow older it bothers me I was never the pretty and popular girl at school because they were treated better at school. People wanted to be their friend and the boys liked them.

 

[FuneralCry]

Bullying is so horrible, some people are just so cruel. I cannot stand people as they are capable of causing others so much misery. I'm sorry you are suffering. I wish you the best.

 

[...]

I can relate. Bullying at a younger age when you are still developing can have such drastic effects. In adulthood I feel constantly anxious and anticipating the same bullying because it feels like my natural experience and not being so feels like imposter syndrome

 

[WadeingThru]

I hated school mainly because of the bullying and struggling to fit in. Being the builled unpopular girl at school has damaged my self esteem in to adulthood.

When I was builled at school I always fought back. I was not scared to hit and insult the builles. I gotten in to a lot of fights in school along with the detentions. I got buillied mainly for my looks, my race,not having friends, the neighbourhood I lived in and many other things.

Being builled at school taught to me stand on my own and not be afraid but sometimes I wish someone stood up for me more. The friends I did have at school just stood there and did nothing. They were more annoyed at me distrputing the class than at bully who started it.

In adulthood people see me as this confident person who not afraid to express their opinions even the most controversial however in the inside I feel like an outsider who struggles to fit in anywhere and is desperate to belong, be loved by a man and no longer feels unwanted.
As I grow older it bothers me I was never the pretty and popular girl at school because they were treated better at school. People wanted to be their friend and the boys liked them.

I like that you stood up for yourself. The pretty girls always end up fat and ugly. I got your back.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I relate bullying can be traumatic, I'm sorry you experienced this. At least you fought Back

 

[FireFox]

I like that you stood up for yourself. The pretty girls always end up fat and ugly. I got your back.

@WadeingThru I am always proud of the fact I stood up myself. I got a lot of detentions and always in trouble for fighting.

"The pretty girls always end up fat and ugly." Really ??? Know any stories.

"I got your back"
Thank you so much and I got yours too :)

 

[FireFox]

I relate bullying can be traumatic, I'm sorry you experienced this. At least you fought Back

@Journeytoletgo This is something I can always be proud of. I absolutely hate it when people say school years are the best yours of your life. I hear this pharse from older people quite a lot.

My mother's partner many months ago said to me
" School years are the best wait until you start work"
I mentioned how I hated school due to the bullying and struggling to fit in. I enjoyed university and the work world much more actually than I ever did secondary school.

My mother's partner then said "you have learn to ignore them( the bullies)."
Honestly some older people are just ignorant and clueless.

-At school in class the boys would throw things at me. I had cookies, pens and even a umbrella thrown at me. It hurt a lot, I screamed at them telling to stop because I am not keeping quiet. They found it hilarious.

- I was called Hiv positive by one of the boys in class, the teacher heard it . I asked him what is your problem it is not like I am going to have to sex with you ? Everyone in the class laughed, the boy was humiliated.
The teacher THREW ME out classroom but the boy who made the remark got to stay in the class. I got in to more trouble but nothing happened to the boy.

-I experienced racial bullying. I was called a zulu warrior by a white boy in my class. The same boy also called me the N word.

- I once kicked a boy in the balls because he kept saying in the school how I lived in a council house( government owned housing, looked down by people upon as you are seen poor . I didn't even live in government housing) because of the route I used to go home . I got in to trouble but the boy who did the bullying did not. The teachers who were both women were telling me how I shouldn't kick a guy down there.

- The girls at school were also bullying me too.

The bullying was so bad my mum even had to come to the school a couple of times to talk to my head of year at the time. My mum would threaten the school by complaining to the school governors board. It worked :)

My younger sister goes the same secondary school I attended. I am not worried for her because she has a great set of friends who look out for her and is doing well . I even tell my mother "I am not worried about my sister when she goes to school because my behaviour was much worse"
Teenage years for me was plenty of fighting in school, self harming, skipping school and it was just crazy.
My sister does none of those things. She reads manga books and does art projects. She will be fine. She is doing much better than me when I started school.

 

[Disappointered]

Bullying played a role in robbing me of a life worth living as well but it was still minor in comparison with other unacknowledged problems. I lived many years as an incel...I won't elaborate.

It is noteworthy that not only was I occasionally bullied as a child but also as an "adult" (I never became one but biologically I am one) in a certain workplace. Would you imagine that it was a supervisor bullying an underling? Not that crazy I guess. What if I told you it was a supervisor in an institution whose role was to defend the rights of employees? Yeah. Don't ever make the mistake of believing the pseudo-progressive bullshit about canarda.

 

[TheWood]

I'm sorry for what happened to you, unfortunately this is a fairly common problem. The indignant fact is that if the school and the parents of the bullies did their part (preventing and in case punishing) there wouldn't be so much crap around

 

[FireFox]

I can relate. Bullying at a younger age when you are still developing can have such drastic effects. In adulthood I feel constantly anxious and anticipating the same bullying because it feels like my natural experience and not being so feels like imposter syndrome

@... It is such a shame society doesn't really talk about the long term effects bullying in teenage years can have.

Even though I always fought back against the buillles in adulthood I have this vunlerablity and sensitive side in which in wanting to actually fit in more and actually finding my place in the world. I always feel like no one wants me around or people hate me. I have endless obsession of wanting to be the pretty blonde girl every guy wants and society sees us beautiful. I sometimes think maybe if I was born super pretty life would have been easier at school. I always saw how the pretty girls at school were treated better.

I absolutely hate it when people say school years are the best yours of your life. I hear this pharse from older people quite a lot.

 

[...]

@... It is such a shame society doesn't really talk about the long term effects bullying in teenage years can have.

Even though I always fought back against the buillles in adulthood I have this vunlerablity and sensitive side in which in wanting to actually fit in more and actually finding my place in the world. I always feel like no one wants me around or people hate me. I have endless obsession of wanting to be the pretty blonde girl every guy wants and society sees us beautiful. I sometimes think maybe if I was born super pretty life would have been easier at school. I always saw how the pretty girls at school were treated better.

I absolutely hate it when people say school years are the best yours of your life. I hear this pharse from older people quite a lot.

for sure. being good looking make your school experience much easier in terms of the social side im sure. my school years suckedl

 

[FireFox]

for sure. being good looking make your school experience much easier in terms of the social side im sure. my school years suckedl

@... Virtual hug. I hate it when people talk about how amazing school years are and actually think i am crazy when I say "they were not that great"
What did you do after leaving school?
After I left school I went to university and studied law. I started embracing my quirky outspoken personality more.

-I attended student protests against rise in tuition fees
- I was involved in my student union quite a lot
- I was just continued to be myself
- travelled a bit before the pandemic came. I went to Italy one year before the pandemic.

 

[WadeingThru]

"The pretty girls always end up fat and ugly." Really ??? Know any stories.

I can't name names. You wouldn't know them anyway. You're a strong woman and they won't win in life. You do you and forget about the haters.

 

[...]

@... Virtual hug. I hate it when people talk about how amazing school years are and actually think i am crazy when I say "they were not that great"
What did you do after leaving school?
After I left school I went to university and studied law. I started embracing my quirky outspoken personality more.

-I attended student protests against rise in tuition fees
- I was involved in my student union quite a lot
- I was just continued to be myself
- travelled a bit before the pandemic came. I went to Italy one year before the pandemic.

second year at uni but took a leave of absence this year. it was great back before i was happy and not depressed. same with sixth form tbh as I went to a separate one from my school and the vibe was a lot more mature.

 

[FireFox]

Bullying played a role in robbing me of a life worth living as well but it was still minor in comparison with other unacknowledged problems. I lived many years as an incel...I won't elaborate.

It is noteworthy that not only was I occasionally bullied as a child but also as an "adult" (I never became one but biologically I am one) in a certain workplace. Would you imagine that it was a supervisor bullying an underling? Not that crazy I guess. What if I told you it was a supervisor in an institution whose role was to defend the rights of employees? Yeah. Don't ever make the mistake of believing the pseudo-progressive bullshit about canarda.

@Lovequenel
I am a femcel. I dont hate men. I desire meaningful intimate sexual relationships with men but I always unlucky . I was naturally confident at school like answering questions in class, talking at school assemblies and not afraid to contribute to class discussion. I found it easy to talk to people. If I liked a guy I would always compliment him and get to know him.

No guy was ever interested in ever getting to know me there was always another girl who caught thier eye. She would always be prettier than me or she was more popular than me. I was always invisible and overlooked by guys. The same is also in adulthood.

I feel like freak being single for so long.

When I was unemployed in lockdown I went on r/neet to tall to unemployed people like myself I mentioned my feelings about never being in a sexual relationship.

The majority of male online mocked me

One man said " a 23 year old virgin you must be very unattractive."

I learnt men see me as a freak and if I ever have relationship I am going to hide the fact about being single for so long because I am now ashamed of it.
After that experience I finally learnt society sees me as an abnormal freak.

"What if I told you it was a supervisor in an institution whose role was to defend the rights of employees? Yeah. Don't ever make the mistake of believing the pseudo-progressive bullshit about canarda"
I am not surprised a lot of people/ institutions who claim to support people's rights are actually the biggest pieces of sh*t and not nice people. In the UK the MP Jo Cox was murdered during the EU referendum 2016. Her death shocked the nation. Her husband Brendan Cox was always in the media preaching about kindness and not being divided after her death. He was so irritating whenever he appeared on the TV. He kepting acting as holier than thou.

It later came out her husband is a woman abuser. When he was working at charity Save The Children he sexually harassed the women working there. This happened when the wife was still alive.
He thought he was untouchable because the wife was a MP.

Brendan Cox admits he was a sex pest and resigns from two charities

Brendan Cox is facing allegations that he drunkenly harassed a Save The Children employee in London by forcing her against a wall outside a bar and holding her by the throat.

www.google.com

The charity knew about the abuse and harassment of he did.
After that scandal he kept away from the media and resigned from all the charities that were created after Jo Cox death. British people even mocked him calling him Saint Brendan because he thought he was holier than thou.

 

[FireFox]

second year at uni but took a leave of absence this year. it was great back before i was happy and not depressed. same with sixth form tbh as I went to a separate one from my school and the vibe was a lot more mature.

@...
What are you studying at university?

My second year of university was not that great either and I struggled too, my depression began to develop. I really hope things work out for you. Please don't be ashamed for taking a leave of absence. Struggling at university is a lot more common than you think. I wish society and especially the school system was open about this issue and actually told teenagers what happens when you go to university. When I was at university I knew more people who dropped out before second year, changed courses and also those who graduated later. I noticed this even more when I was in my second and final year of university. I saw how smaller my class was getting.

I loved my course which is why did well and graduated

When I reached out to people such as my family and friends about my depression developing at 21 but nobody really listened. Everyone kept telling me I was too young to feel this way and i was treated like an inconvenience by those i loved tc. When I mentioned I was suicidal my own friends avoided me like a plague and pretty much stopped talking to me.

Anyway

It is too late for me now, I am now so far gone, my eating disorder is out of control, i can no longer finish a meal and laxative abuser. I can no longer see myself having a future which is why I will kill myself when I turn 30. I am 24 and pretty much in the final years of my life. Life was just never for me. The lockdown and pandemic showed me I don't deserve to be alive in this world. All the good people of the world died from covid19 and someone like me who hasn't done anything meaningful with their lives still is alive and healthy. It is not fair. I read the stories of those who died from covid19 especially the young healthcare workers they were just good people with so much to live for. I damage my body because I don't want to be healthy anymore, I dont deserve it. I try to be a good person but I am repulsive human being.

Good luck with your studies, you can do it :)

Love

FireFox :)

 

[...]

When I mentioned I was suicidal my own friends avoided me like a plague and pretty much stopped talking to me.

This is what I have also come to learn happens

 

[CameronFrye]

I feel you, the bullying was awful, and we deserved better. But I commend you for having the strength and bravery to standing up for yourself. You should be proud of that. I just took it and withdrew from social interaction more and more and let them win. I wish I could have been that strong and at least say I did my best.

I absolutely hate it when people say school years are the best yours of your life. I hear this pharse from older people quite a lot.

This is something I really struggle with too. I missed out on all the time experiences of those years, and now I'm expected to fit in to adult life with all the people who had those experiences. I don't know if I can do it. Especially after not being able to complete college because of how bad it was there.

 

[FireFox]

I feel you, the bullying was awful, and we deserved better. But I commend you for having the strength and bravery to standing up for yourself. You should be proud of that. I just took it and withdrew from social interaction more and more and let them win. I wish I could have been that strong and at least say I did my best.

This is something I really struggle with too. I missed out on all the time experiences of those years, and now I'm expected to fit in to adult life with all the people who had those experiences. I don't know if I can do it. Especially after not being able to complete college because of how bad it was there.

@CameronFrye
Thanks

In adulthood I became more self conscious of my appearance because of the school bullying and having guys at school make fun of my looks frequently. I can't ever see myself ever loving my appearance. I really tried but nobody took my feelings seriously.

 

[Noob]

It will probably not make you feel better, but i turned down some good opportunities with girls when i was at school, just because everyone wanted the popular girl, so i went with them like a fucking idiot, i regret it so much. But nothing i can do about that now.
What i am saying is: a lot of boys are just idiots at that age, doing whatever the "herd" or the popular kids are doing. This is cruel but, it is what it is.
The adults who should be ashamed for not giving proper education.

 

[CameronFrye]

In adulthood I became more self conscious of my appearance because of the school bullying and having guys at school make fun of my looks frequently. I can't ever see myself ever loving my appearance. I really tried but nobody took my feelings seriously.

I feel the same, it's really hard to not be self conscious after years of negativity from others. I wish I had a solution to this, and I hope we figure out how to heal from it someday.

 

[FireFox]

It will probably not make you feel better, but i turned down some good opportunities with girls when i was at school, just because everyone wanted the popular girl, so i went with them like a fucking idiot, i regret it so much. But nothing i can do about that now.
What i am saying is: a lot of boys are just idiots at that age, doing whatever the "herd" or the popular kids are doing. This is cruel but, it is what it is.
The adults who should be ashamed for not giving proper education.

@Noob Virtual hug
All we do stupid things when we are younger. Growing up is acknowledging our mistakes.

I will always be proud of myself for standing up for myself and always fighting back. I just wish I had friends who stood up for me and didn't leave me to fight alone. They were more scared of the consequences but I believe real and true friends stand up for you.
My friends at school were not that great either. They said mean things behind back about me and sometimes excluded me from things. They didn't even defend me when a new friend came in to the group and was mean to me.
School and teenage years was pretty much lonely
At least the whole thing taught me to stand alone and never to be afraid to speak up. It also prepared for the pandemic in many ways too.

I feel the same, it's really hard to not be self conscious after years of negativity from others. I wish I had a solution to this, and I hope we figure out how to heal from it someday.

@CameronFrye I no longer believe there is a solution to overcome insecurities about appearance. I really wanted to embrace my black hair and brown eyes and get over wishing I had a blonde hair and blue eyes.I wish I had blonde hair because I will look more interesting and I will be noticed more by guys and no longer invisible by guys.

I have tried to love my features because I find it impossible as they are just so dull and boring. Blue, green and other eye colours are so pretty because they stand out more and are visibly appealing to look at. Brown eyes the pupil and the iris together forms a bland colour with no vibrancy. It looks like a pool of mud or an entrance to a dark tunnel.

I am black woman and I dont even feel safe to express my true feelings even amoung women.

I have reached out to many people about this issue and no really took my concerns seriously and were just purley hostile.

I went on 2 online fourms for black women asking for advice on this issue. The comments I received were the following
" you are just a troll, no black woman writes like that"

" your comments are so hurtful to black women on this forum".
I have also received comments from women on other online forums saying
" you comments are insulting to women with black hair and brown eyes"
I dont want these feelings but I feel like no understands or even cares to help. People post far worse bullsh*t and it gets taken seriously. I have a genuine problem that has caused me distress throughout my life and day to day but all I get told is my comments are "insulting" to women.
I feel like I am only one who is experiencing this problem.

 

[Noob]

@CameronFrye I no longer believe there is a solution to overcome insecurities about appearance. I really wanted to embrace my black hair and brown eyes and get over wishing I had a blonde hair and blue eyes.I wish I had blonde hair because I will look more interesting and I will be noticed more by guys and no longer invisible by guys.I have tried to love my features because I find it impossible as they are just so dull and boring. Blue, green and other eye colours are so pretty because they stand out more and are visibly appealing to look at. Brown eyes the pupil and the iris together forms a bland colour with no vibrancy. It looks like a pool of mud or an entrance to a dark tunnel.

I am black woman and I dont even feel safe to express my true feelings even amoung women.

I have reached out to many people about this issue and no really took my concerns seriously and were just purley hostile.

It is insecurities that built up inside you.
I have no problems being atracted to black woman, i may even prefer than to a blue eyed white woman, black skin is beautiful and age better. I also like dark eyes and dark hair, the body can be muscular and/or tall, no problem for me, may even increase in appeal to be honest...
Sorry about how you feel, overcoming that will be a fight, for sure.

 

[SoVeryDone]

You deserve better.
Honestly most humans suck. I gave up on ppl a long time ago and I'm stronger for it. What do you need friends for anyway. To help if your car breaks down, for a ride?
People manipulate and are horrible. I love cats.
Forget people...they make you feel like this.
You deserve better.