Venting being remembered

[touhoufan]

i think one of the reasons i want to die so badly is because i know in death ill only be commemorated in good light. whoever cared for me will long for me and suddenly ill feel wanted, needed even.

without me, my flaws dont exist. ill only be painted in a positive light and people will remember the nice memories they had of me. theyll think about how different life couldve been if i was still around, knowing full well my presence was/is unimpactful on the long term.

i dont want to live through struggle to be well regarded. i think i deserve proper respect and understanding, and the only way to gain it without fumbling would be to ctb

 

[Catlover124]

That's one way to think. For me, I keep imaging that people are gonna talk shit about me after I commit suicide. That I am pathetic, that I am weak willed. Like why would I even want to die, my life is not even that bad. Damn, I think I shouldn't vent too much under someone else's post, so gonna stop at this.

Thanks for the new perspective.

 

[SuicidalTiger]

God, I feel this...

When the samurai and daimyo of hisorical Japan needed to die via suicide, or knew they were going to die in battle they wrote Death Poems called "Jisei"

Death poem - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

Some of these poems are harrowing, others are beautiful... I try and remember the names of the people who wrote them, even if it is hard as they're all Japanese names.

My favourite one?
"Moriya Sen'an (died in1838):"

Bury me when I die Ware shinaba
beneath a wine barrel sakaya no kame no
in a tavern. shita ni ikeyo
With luck moshi ya shizuku no
the cask will leak. moriyasennan

"The last line or the poem, "perhaps will leak," is similar to the
pronunciation of the poet's name."

This was taken from the book "Japanese Death Poems, written by Zen monks and Haiku poets on the verge of death" if you want more.
Anyway, I want to do similar, I want to go into the forrest, with a mask on and make a small collection of videos explaining my choice, my rational and my philosophy of life. I don't want people to remember me for how I looked or my skill or whatever nonsense (hence a mask) but I want to pass on my experience, and my concepts to someone else, the actuall definition of a meme, (instead of the funny one haha)

 

[chestnut]

God, I feel this...

When the samurai and daimyo of hisorical Japan needed to die via suicide, or knew they were going to die in battle they wrote Death Poems called "Jisei"

Death poem - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

Some of these poems are harrowing, others are beautiful... I try and remember the names of the people who wrote them, even if it is hard as they're all Japanese names.

My favourite one?
"Moriya Sen'an (died in1838):"

Bury me when I die Ware shinaba
beneath a wine barrel sakaya no kame no
in a tavern. shita ni ikeyo
With luck moshi ya shizuku no
the cask will leak. moriyasennan

"The last line or the poem, "perhaps will leak," is similar to the
pronunciation of the poet's name."

This was taken from the book "Japanese Death Poems, written by Zen monks and Haiku poets on the verge of death" if you want more.
Anyway, I want to do similar, I want to go into the forrest, with a mask on and make a small collection of videos explaining my choice, my rational and my philosophy of life. I don't want people to remember me for how I looked or my skill or whatever nonsense (hence a mask) but I want to pass on my experience, and my concepts to someone else, the actuall definition of a meme, (instead of the funny one haha)

That sounds so beautiful.

 

[tankapi]

I would prefer to be forgotten, rather than remembered. Why cause people pain with their memories?

 

[sancta-simplicitas]

That's interesting, I'm much the opposite of that wish. I really, really don't want people to talk nor feel that way about me when I'm gone. Everyone who dies suddenly always become the absolute best person in the world, while people who live rarely recieve even half of that care, especially when they're mentally suffering. If people have something to say about me, they should do it when I'm alive, otherwise it's just fake.