i hate it so much how the optimal (not only in the sense of "accomplishing/being successful", but lowering the amount of pain and increasing the amount of pleasure in life) way to be alive is by dampening your emotions and crippling your desires. i am born with emotion, i am not a machine, i can't do things without a drive, there is no "just do it" in my system, and the people who are able to do it seem like unnatural super-men. i hate that this is true. i have never accepted this shit-smeared terms and conditions of life. this quest to become null that people seem to have is dreadful and soul wrenching. reality sucks, existence sucks, the difficult and painful parts always overshadow whatever positivity there may be, which there is a lot. i hate pain, i hate every single negative emotion there is, i hate them all, i want to kill them all, i don't want to be stronger or resist anything, i want those feelings to fuck right off. the only thing i want to feel is bliss and bliss only. the biological limits of the mind is an enemy, reality itself is an enemy.
being born to feel and life telling you to not feel. joke of the universe i guess
being born to feel and life telling you to not feel. joke of the universe i guess
