being asexual sucks

[xpdawn]

Ive come to the realization that i'm probably going to be alone forever, all because I'm asexual. Ive tried (almost) everything but the feelings of nothingness wont go away. Even the thought of sex makes me want to cry (out of fear and disgust). No matter where i go, people wont stop talking about it, it's driving me insane. I know its a natural thing, i know everyone does it, but i hate it. so much

 

[sulli]

my last gf was asexual and i'm still painfully in love with her to this day. i guess it's probably different if you date men though

 

[loyalskateboard]

You might find a partner who is also asexual.

 

[LoiteringClouds]

Hello @xpdawn,
Another asexual here.

Ive come to the realization that i'm probably going to be alone forever, all because I'm asexual. Ive tried (almost) everything but the feelings of nothingness wont go away.

I'm so so sorry to hear that - I can't connect to people deeply IRL, too. I feel like if I want to find your partner, sex is inevitable.
Is platonic love a pipe dream? If so, I wouldn't find my partner forever.

Even the thought of sex makes me want to cry (out of fear and disgust). No matter where i go, people wont stop talking about it, it's driving me insane. I know its a natural thing, i know everyone does it, but i hate it. so much

Personally I find sex is repulsive, too. I know many people think it's an important aspect of life, but I just can't fit in.
It seems to be a miracle that you find your platonic partner, but I can't help but pray for you - May you find the one

 

[Nights]

That's understandable, i also have a friend who is asexual and is like you, it's understandable that you just don't want this thing to be around you, i recommend you to distant yourself from anything related to sex as it might be draining your mental health

 

[Document6105]

I'm somewhere between gray asexual/demisexual myself.
I just can't even consider burdening someone else at this point.
So I consider it a net-zero sex drive.

Asexual partners do exist out there though, but you'd likely have more luck trying in LGBT peers.

That said, focus on your own life before seeking a partner.
Zero self-confidence/self-loathing won't make for a healthy relationship, if you ever seek one.

 

[xpdawn]

I'm somewhere between gray asexual/demisexual myself.
I just can't even consider burdening someone else at this point.
So I consider it a net-zero sex drive.

Asexual partners do exist out there though, but you'd likely have more luck trying in LGBT peers.

That said, focus on your own life before seeking a partner.
Zero self-confidence/self-loathing won't make for a healthy relationship, if you ever seek one.

A majority of my friends are in some way lgbt but i don't think they'd really understand me.
and yeah its true that self loathing doesn't help anyone , but sometimes it all just seems pointless if only 1% of the population gets me :,)

You might find a partner who is also asexual.

I might but ive actually never met another ace irl before , and the chances of us actually being compatible feel slim :,0

 

[Housefly]

A friend of mine who is asexual found an ace girly. Super proud of him he's somewhat socially retarded.

 

[SpiderLink]

Ive come to the realization that i'm probably going to be alone forever, all because I'm asexual. Ive tried (almost) everything but the feelings of nothingness wont go away. Even the thought of sex makes me want to cry (out of fear and disgust). No matter where i go, people wont stop talking about it, it's driving me insane. I know its a natural thing, i know everyone does it, but i hate it. so much

I'm aromantic, asexual and non binary. Asexual means little to no sexual attraction, aromantic means little to no romantic attraction… I'm assuming u identify as both from your messages? And I agree, even after I say I'm not gonna get married it hurts when people say "your so young to know that" (I'm almost 19 btw) I think there needs to be more awareness for asexual and aromantic people, so we can get the empathy we need and deserve. You can always find a roommate, a friend. Hope this helps I'm here to chat if u ever want to, I feel you and your not alone in feeling this way

 

[The anhedonic one]

Have you seen any of those asexual dating sites ?
Asexuality is more common than you think.
You are suffering so much with this issue, but finding someone may not be as bad as it seems.
I'm sure you will find someone to love.
Somebody is out there for you,: another Asexual person looking for someone like you.
There are at least 7 Asexual dating sites that are live right now.
I hope you can find someone soon. So sorry you are going through this.

 

[12_Years_Late]

One of the first things I was ever told was, "Don't ever look at pictures of pretty naked women." In fact I am completely incapable of feeling "normal" sexual attraction. I do not feel anything when I see a picture of a young female, no desire to be with them. I'm essentially a child when it comes to understanding the concept of the sexual attractiveness of the other gender. This is in direct contradiction to the average male's experience, when they cannot stop thinking about them for weeks on end at ages 11-14. I guess that makes me incredibly lucky.

 

[The anhedonic one]

One of the first things I was ever told was, "Don't ever look at pictures of pretty naked women." In fact I am completely incapable of feeling "normal" sexual attraction. I do not feel anything when I see a picture of a young female, no desire to be with them. I'm essentially a child when it comes to understanding the concept of the sexual attractiveness of the other gender. This is in direct contradiction to the average male's experience, when they cannot stop thinking about them for weeks on end at ages 11-14. I guess that makes me incredibly lucky.

Yes. It is torment being a young male with " urges ". I'm so glad I'm a lot older now and have kind of lost the urge. Life is so much better without it .

 

[angel31]

A majority of my friends are in some way lgbt but i don't think they'd really understand me.
and yeah its true that self loathing doesn't help anyone , but sometimes it all just seems pointless if only 1% of the population gets me :,)

I might but ive actually never met another ace irl before , and the chances of us actually being compatible feel slim :,0

Im lgbt too, and I totally get friends and family not understanding, but what I think of is that they dont really have to understand, they just have to respect it, if you know what I mean.
And about meeting other aces, have you looked if there are any lgbtqia+ "spaces" in your area? Or maybe something like a pride parade?
Also look at it this way: maybe you have met a ace already irl, you just dont know yet.
Hope you find someone <3

 

[Wehmut]

Hey, I am asexual as well and I totally get some of the feelings you described. I am not disgusted by sex but I cant really identify with it or feel the need for it. I would have sex, but only to show love and intimacy for my partner. When I first found out that I am asexual, I realized why I didnt know how to react when other people talk about. It does not disgust me but it makes me feel weird. Also I dont really have friends so there is no one really around me who talks about sex. Which is a nice benefit of being lonely. I have come to accept that there will always be people talking about sex because it seems like an important thing to most people. People tried convincing me that I need sex for a healthy relationship and that I cant have have a normal relationship because I am asexual. But that is not true. I dont think you need to stay alone forever, although I sometimes think the same about me. It might take long. But you can find someone who doesnt need sex or someone who is asexual as well. In the meantime you can find your inner peace for yourself. Best wishes fellow ace :)

 

[front of me]

The relationship consists of attention, care, love and sex. You can remove the sex from it and just cuddle and sleep in the arms of someone you love.

 

[Werewolf.]

It's so interesting to see how many asexual people are here. Considering how rare it is, it's nice to see we are sort of represented. I'd say I'm asexual, but I guess demisexual would be the correct term. I do not, however, identify as LGBT+ even though technically I am, due to being asexual/demisexual. People in real life suspect I'm gay. I guess calling other men "handsome" isn't really a "straight" thing to do. Or people are just insecure of their own sexualities whereas I am comfortably secure with my own. I know saying the truth doesn't make me "gay." Perhaps I just appreciate male beauty because I don't see it in myself. I see myself as completely unattractive. There's a few good reasons for this, but I'm not going to get into it right now. Maybe another day.

 

[Unknown21]

I'm also asexual, i disgust sex but i don't fear it, i see it as an animal act.

 

[ANONYMOUSM]

Ive come to the realization that i'm probably going to be alone forever, all because I'm asexual. Ive tried (almost) everything but the feelings of nothingness wont go away. Even the thought of sex makes me want to cry (out of fear and disgust). No matter where i go, people wont stop talking about it, it's driving me insane. I know its a natural thing, i know everyone does it, but i hate it. so much

tbh sex and romance are so romanticized by the media i hate it too

 

[busybee]

I am demi and lately not attracted to my partner that way. Didn't have it in me to tell him and played pretend. Told him I was getting sore so he'd get done fast. I was lowkey happy that I actually got a bad infection down there and am forced on a break from this.
Right now I prefer literal tears in my skin over sex. Oh well.

 

[natthebrat]

I'm ace as well. I do have a gf who is demi herself so she's happy in her relationship with me despite no sex being involved. At least for now; like me she's trans, and it's pretty common for trans people after transitioning to realize they weren't really ace/demi but were repressed because of dysphoria, and I worry that may turn out to be the case with her when she starts HRT. It's always really saddening for me to see how important sex is for allos, as that always reminds me just how small my dating pool is if/when I end up single again.