Becoming an agnostic has crippled my mental health

[Tobacco]

Hello everyone, this is my first thread.

Being religious was my biggest psychological crutch and I bet it is for a lot of people.

I was part of minority religious sects since I was like 14 years old. I NEEDED God to be real. Before that, when I was in 5th grade I was losing my faith because I just didn't see any signs of any divine intervention in this world. I remember discovering for the first time a list of arguments for atheism in Wikipedia and reading some of them and feeling how they made sense. I just prayed for a signal and a few weeks later I saw a UFO in the sky. I lived for years convinced that that was my signal.

In the following years I went from gnostic, to Hare Krishna, to Kashmir shaiva.

I miss feeling special and that I was part of God's army. I miss thinking that karma is the answer to all the suffering in the world. I was unbothered by tragedies because I thought the victims deserved it. I thought God would help me avoid a horrible death. Now I wake up panicking at night, trying to pray and realizing that maybe no one is listening.

I'm convinced that some philosophical arguments for the existence of God can be strong but they tell us nothing about the character of said creator. They could be watching our world burn while eating popcorn.

 

[wanderingspirit]

Did you try to research other religions ( Christianity , islam , judaism ...) Maybe your answer is there

 

[Tobacco]

Did you try to research other religions ( Christianity , islam , judaism ...) Maybe your answer is there

My parents tried to raise me catholic but I didn't liked it. I watch a lot of content on youtube that tries to disprove christianity and islam.

 

[wanderingspirit]

My parents tried to raise me catholic but I didn't liked it. I watch a lot of content on youtube that tries to disprove christianity and islam.

Listen to both sides the supporters and the deniers and build your own truth it's a hard journey but it's necessary to reach the truth i hope you find peace and your trust

 

[DepressedSloth]

It's not necessarily the absence of belief but the loss that is devastating. Imagine 2 single people. One is never married but the other is a widow. See the difference? Realize that you are grieving for something you lost. I don't know what the solution is for you but wanted to share this perspective in case it's helpful to you.

 

[farlander]

I have come from things in the opposite direction, and all I can do is share my perspective on it, if you'll allow me. Essentially I've always been fascinated by religion and the many ways we try to find out place in the world and the universe at large. I've dabbled in it and at one point desperately wanted to belong to a faith for the comfort that brings. The problem in my case, is there are always too many questions that are left unanswered or poorly answered and I could never fully commit. Eventually though, I started to learn more and more about scientific theories on the origin of life (a field I recommend everyone check out if they haven't already) and it kind of blew my mind. In my extremely amateurish cliff notes take on the concept, the very laws of physics and our understanding of them always lead to the creation of life. If you take the fundamental building blocks of the universe and give them enough time to react, and replicate that reaction a number of times that are effectively uncountable, eventually enough chemical reactions take place that spin out into organic life. I'm vastly under explaining it here and I suggest you look into it yourself, but my takeaway from that was that there's as much a case for a mind so far beyond our intelligence intentionally designing the universe to work that way as there is that it's all just happenstance, and for reasons I can't quite put into words, I find it comforting. Outside of that concept, I have a lot of personal views on how things operate (I think that in spite of everything that gets in the way, things are likely only going to continue to improve for everyone, regardless of hardship, for example) due to our evolutionary hard-wired instinct to aid our fellow hairless ape for the good of the community. I hope my rambling response at least elucidates some concepts you hadn't considered, or inspires you to look further into things you had only briefly heard about. In summation I would say focus less on the absence of a regimented belief system, focus more on what you can do with the endless possibilities that are now open to you. Effectively if nothing you've learned is the truth, no religion has it figured out, then you are free to build your own belief system in any way you like without judgement or fear. Take the concepts you find comforting and break them down to their essence and why you find them comforting and build something new out of them.

 

[Tobacco]

I have come from things in the opposite direction, and all I can do is share my perspective on it, if you'll allow me. Essentially I've always been fascinated by religion and the many ways we try to find out place in the world and the universe at large. I've dabbled in it and at one point desperately wanted to belong to a faith for the comfort that brings. The problem in my case, is there are always too many questions that are left unanswered or poorly answered and I could never fully commit. Eventually though, I started to learn more and more about scientific theories on the origin of life (a field I recommend everyone check out if they haven't already) and it kind of blew my mind. In my extremely amateurish cliff notes take on the concept, the very laws of physics and our understanding of them always lead to the creation of life. If you take the fundamental building blocks of the universe and give them enough time to react, and replicate that reaction a number of times that are effectively uncountable, eventually enough chemical reactions take place that spin out into organic life. I'm vastly under explaining it here and I suggest you look into it yourself, but my takeaway from that was that there's as much a case for a mind so far beyond our intelligence intentionally designing the universe to work that way as there is that it's all just happenstance, and for reasons I can't quite put into words, I find it comforting. Outside of that concept, I have a lot of personal views on how things operate (I think that in spite of everything that gets in the way, things are likely only going to continue to improve for everyone, regardless of hardship, for example) due to our evolutionary hard-wired instinct to aid our fellow hairless ape for the good of the community. I hope my rambling response at least elucidates some concepts you hadn't considered, or inspires you to look further into things you had only briefly heard about. In summation I would say focus less on the absence of a regimented belief system, focus more on what you can do with the endless possibilities that are now open to you. Effectively if nothing you've learned is the truth, no religion has it figured out, then you are free to build your own belief system in any way you like without judgement or fear. Take the concepts you find comforting and break them down to their essence and why you find them comforting and build something new out of them.

I know about the fine tuning of the universe. If there is a God, maybe no religion has merit and he's only waiting for us to find the right logical argument. A God that can only be worshiped by philosophers.

 

[funeralcat]

I practiced and studied many religions and new age spirituality, Still wanna kill myself

 

[canaryblue]

I feel you, especially the part about religion being a psychological crutch. When I used to believe (raised catholic) my life was meaningful. God made me for a reason after all, and he loved me. After deconverting I failed to assign any personal value to my life. Now, here I am.

 

[The anhedonic one]

We will only find the answers to the deepest questions when we die.
But then again, maybe there is nothing after death.

 

[ChromeCake]

Listen to both sides the supporters and the deniers and build your own truth it's a hard journey but it's necessary to reach the truth i hope you find peace and your trust

Maybe this isn't the right scab to pick at the moment, but I've always had an issue with that phrase, "your truth". Truth isn't subjective. Belief is, but truth isn't. You have no control over what is true. I think that phrase is honestly dangerous. If we can't all be on the same page about what is true, that's like a page straight out of 1984.

Anyway, I'm in a similar situation OP. I believed more easily when I didn't need religion. Now that I do, it's been much harder to accept. My biggest gripe is: why is faith considered righteous? Why does God care so much about people believing he exists? What does he have to prove? The whole omnipotent being that cant get anyone to believe in him for even a few minutes without turning away to worship some golden cow instead just strikes me as silly. I just don't see how believing in something in and of itself can be a redeeming quality. But it's a foundational aspect of most western religions. We are redeemed by faith supposedly. Believing something with limited to no proof is just kind of stupid, not really redeeming at all in my opinion. And even if God were to straight up decend from heaven and give me some direct instructions, why would faith even be up for discussion? Wouldn't it just be undeniable at that point and we could move on to something other than obsessing over his mere existence? Why does he play this game where he expects us to believe with nothing to go on?

Not sure where I was going with this. I'm just going through the same thing and wanted to bounce an idea off you. Maybe not the most helpful idea, but who knows. Maybe you can help me.

 

[Source Energy]

Hello everyone, this is my first thread.

Being religious was my biggest psychological crutch and I bet it is for a lot of people.

I was part of minority religious sects since I was like 14 years old. I NEEDED God to be real. Before that, when I was in 5th grade I was losing my faith because I just didn't see any signs of any divine intervention in this world. I remember discovering for the first time a list of arguments for atheism in Wikipedia and reading some of them and feeling how they made sense. I just prayed for a signal and a few weeks later I saw a UFO in the sky. I lived for years convinced that that was my signal.

In the following years I went from gnostic, to Hare Krishna, to Kashmir shaiva.

I miss feeling special and that I was part of God's army. I miss thinking that karma is the answer to all the suffering in the world. I was unbothered by tragedies because I thought the victims deserved it. I thought God would help me avoid a horrible death. Now I wake up panicking at night, trying to pray and realizing that maybe no one is listening.

I'm convinced that some philosophical arguments for the existence of God can be strong but they tell us nothing about the character of said creator. They could be watching our world burn while eating popcorn.

Take a look into Neville Goddard. It explains a lot of things in the Bible, plus the reason why no one is "listening". It sounds like you might be open to these teachings since you are looking for answers. I hope you find comfort.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

What experimental evidence is there for a soul , god , or magic , anything super natural? For example what is the power source for a soul? A soul is supposed to be eternal supposedly but the human brain changes every day . What I was for example at age 10 or even 5 years ago is something different than what I am now. When a human gets a stroke, or is under the influence of alcohol or drugs the character changes. A human is just the continuously changing neural networks of the brain.

How Brain Neurons Change Over Time From Life Experience

Neuroplasticity, also known as brain plasticity, is the brain’s ability to change as a result of experience. Learn how it works and how the brain can change.

www.verywellmind.com

For what reason would some nonexistent all intelligent entity create a soul or consciousness and download it into an ape's body to suffer extreme pain and suffering for trillions of years? Why is that so important to the universe?

I think religion and other cultural ideologies were invented by humans to control others

 

[brokeandbroken]

In all honesty I am Christian because I cannot disprove it and I have studied it fairly extensively. That said I wish it wasn't true. There's so much I hate about life in general. The world sucks. Like it really sucks. I was the victim of a crime, lost everything, I have no family, friends, I am effectively homeless, etc... Yet in terms of life right now.... I am not even in the bottom 50% of the planet in terms of suffering. Some of the terrible things that have happened make me sick. It just makes me more sad honestly. I wish I was suffering more then anyone else because to think others are suffering and have suffered infinitely more is just wild. God is supposed to be good? The shadows prove the sunshine but holy shit are they shadowy.

 

[Tobacco]

Maybe this isn't the right scab to pick at the moment, but I've always had an issue with that phrase, "your truth". Truth isn't subjective. Belief is, but truth isn't. You have no control over what is true. I think that phrase is honestly dangerous. If we can't all be on the same page about what is true, that's like a page straight out of 1984.

Anyway, I'm in a similar situation OP. I believed more easily when I didn't need religion. Now that I do, it's been much harder to accept. My biggest gripe is: why is faith considered righteous? Why does God care so much about people believing he exists? What does he have to prove? The whole omnipotent being that cant get anyone to believe in him for even a few minutes without turning away to worship some golden cow instead just strikes me as silly. I just don't see how believing in something in and of itself can be a redeeming quality. But it's a foundational aspect of most western religions. We are redeemed by faith supposedly. Believing something with limited to no proof is just kind of stupid, not really redeeming at all in my opinion. And even if God were to straight up decend from heaven and give me some direct instructions, why would faith even be up for discussion? Wouldn't it just be undeniable at that point and we could move on to something other than obsessing over his mere existence? Why does he play this game where he expects us to believe with nothing to go on?

Not sure where I was going with this. I'm just going through the same thing and wanted to bounce an idea off you. Maybe not the most helpful idea, but who knows. Maybe you can help me.

Faith doesn't really make sense when you read the stories of God showing his powers to people in the past. Why isn't he doing it today?
This is called the argument from Divine Hiddenness. As I said, there could be a demiurge, but I don't see how he is all loving.

 

[Linda]

Hello everyone, this is my first thread.

Being religious was my biggest psychological crutch and I bet it is for a lot of people.

I was part of minority religious sects since I was like 14 years old. I NEEDED God to be real. Before that, when I was in 5th grade I was losing my faith because I just didn't see any signs of any divine intervention in this world. I remember discovering for the first time a list of arguments for atheism in Wikipedia and reading some of them and feeling how they made sense. I just prayed for a signal and a few weeks later I saw a UFO in the sky. I lived for years convinced that that was my signal.

In the following years I went from gnostic, to Hare Krishna, to Kashmir shaiva.

I miss feeling special and that I was part of God's army. I miss thinking that karma is the answer to all the suffering in the world. I was unbothered by tragedies because I thought the victims deserved it. I thought God would help me avoid a horrible death. Now I wake up panicking at night, trying to pray and realizing that maybe no one is listening.

I'm convinced that some philosophical arguments for the existence of God can be strong but they tell us nothing about the character of said creator. They could be watching our world burn while eating popcorn.

I'm atheist. Seeing the world as it is may be less comforting than deluding yourself, but which do you want? Reality or make-bellieve? Adult reality or childish consolations?

 

[Tobacco]

I'm atheist. Seeing the world as it is may be less comforting that deluding yourself, but which do you want? Reality or make-bellieve? Adult reality or childish consolations?

I prefer adult reality. But between reality and eternal sleep i prefer to sleep (I already sleep 12 hours a day).

 

[Amnesiaisalloverme]

I agree. I belong to a Muslim family and till 22 years of age i have crazily asked n prayed to god for solving my issues, fixing my sicknesses until i realized that ihavebeen crying to him for years and things just got impossible. And now i found solace in the spirituality and budhism. But i do miss thinking that im sufferwd coz god loves me the most and he only tests his most beloved creatures. That was really a crutch but ofcourse its not the truth

 

[SexyIncél]

This is called disenchantment. Many societies replaced god with bureaucracy. Their populations become soulless pleasure/utility maximizing machines

It's "scientistic": empty science-flavored rule following. The secular movement's real saints, like Newton & Gödel, were actually mystics who believed in gods with consciousness, intention, morality...

BTW worship isn't the only operation you can perform on gods. There's also rebellion, sexual orgies, friendship, etc

God needn't be the only "metahuman" (entity with some human qualities like intention). You could also make a re-enchanted little society. If it appeals to others, it could become part of a movement

If you do that, maybe you'll ironically feel god pulsing through you

 

[Tobacco]

This is called disenchantment. Many societies replaced god with bureaucracy. Their populations become soulless pleasure/utility maximizing machines

It's "scientistic": empty science-flavored rule following. The secular movement's real saints, like Newton & Gödel, were actually mystics who believed in gods with consciousness, intention, morality...

BTW worship isn't the only operation you can perform on gods. There's also rebellion, sexual orgies, friendship, etc

God needn't be the only "metahuman" (entity with some human qualities like intention). You could also make a re-enchanted little society. If it appeals to others, it could become part of a movement

If you do that, maybe you'll ironically feel god pulsing through you

Thank you for your thoughtful post. Gödel is one of my favorite mathematicians/philosophers.

 

[MrDarkness]

Religion was invented to give people faith, I base my beliefs off of lutherism and Buddhism/Shintoism, I don't pray but I kinda do, I picture god to be loving and kind, but the reason he doesn't intervene is because it would disrupt the cycle of life, it's sad ik, kinda like playing the sims and letting the ai live. Kinda like that yk, ik there has to be a higher form of life, a kind and loving god