Help 'because it's easier'

[Life_and_Death]

I'm trying to think of all the reasons I want to leave my husband, trying to decided what is best for me.

Do you think "because it's easier" is a good reason? It kinda feels like I'm just throwing my arms up in the air and saying "fuck it, I give up". But I'm serious. There's just so much, it's seriously easier to just start over.

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

If it is easier to leave with all the hassle and time taken up by doing so then I'd say "because it is easier" is definitely a good enough reason, not that I know your particular circumstances but it's not like getting something off Amazon instead of driving 30mins "easier".

 

[Bat 17]

I think trying to decide what is best for you is a better reason. The line of least resistance is appealing but not necessarily the basis of good decision making ?

 

[Fragile]

People naturally gravitate towards the easier solution, I mean, our entire civilization is based around finding ways to make our lives easier.

So, yes. Something being easier is a good reason, especially if you are doing it because you feel it's the right choice.

 

[fishtacos4me]

If you are trying to think of all the reasons why you want to leave, then you want to leave.
Because I want to leave - That's enough of a reason.

I'm guessing that if you want to leave, your needs are not being met there. That's enough of a reason, too.
You wouldn't be thinking this way if you were happy. That's enough of a reason, too.

Are you really looking for what's best or trying to find a way to not feel like a quitter? It's okay to quit a relationship that you obviously aren't happy with. You don't have to feel bad or like you are giving up. I give up my bread when it goes moldy. I gave up my dog when he was too sick to save. We give up old hole filled t shirts, empty cartons, burned out light bulbs, worn out cars, even body parts that are no longer functioning correctly. If it's used up and not working, it's okay to put it behind you without feeling like you've failed.

 

[Bat 17]

Is leaving your husband the easiest option anyway? It's probably 'easier' to keep doing what you are doing, ambling along in the marriage, maintaining your relationship such as it is with your friend. Divorces get messy and feelings are hurt - I don't think it will be easy necessarily.

However, maybe you need to do this for your personal growth and happiness however difficult it might be for a time.

 

[Life_and_Death]

If you are trying to think of all the reasons why you want to leave, then you want to leave.

That's the thing. I don't want to leave. I do love him. It's just

maybe you need to do this for your personal growth

This ^ I think best describes it.

 

[fishtacos4me]

well personal growth is plenty of reason

What part of you will grow the most from it?

 

[Life_and_Death]

What part of you will grow the most from it?

Just me. I went from an abusive household to living with a guy (my current husband). Back then he (nor i) understood my disorders so the way I was treated back then compared to now.... Let's just say differs, however the way I feel hasnt.

I guess I'm basically looking for a blank slate.