dust-in-the-wind
Animal Lover
- Aug 24, 2024
- 1,231
I have been a member of sasu over 2 years now. Some may know my story and have read my posts when I was VERY VERY sick and bedridden with major depressive disorder. I am so much better now thanks to HRT and I am back to my baseline. However, my baseline is still depressed BUT I can at least function and I am able to experience some moments of joy again. I still think life overall is not worth it and there is far more suffering and pain and I do not regret not bringing children into the world. I will still probably end my life one day because I refuse to experience the horrors that come with old age and I am already 57f. 
This baseline "depression" is part of who I am and it will never go away because I see reality for what it is. I can't medicate or therapize my way out of this. I am not religious nor can I live with rose colored glasses. I am the glass is half empty type of person. I have accepted this is who I am. Now for the benefits..
#1. I absolutely don't give a shit what anyone thinks because nothing ultimately matters and we will all be forgotten because we will all eventually be dead.
#2. I am not intimidated by anyone nor jealous, regardless of beauty, status, power or money, because same reason..eventually they will all be dead too. Death is the great equalizer and we all end up a pile of dust in the end.
#3 Empathy. Because I have suffered to the most extreme unbearable levels of mental torture, I no longer judge anyone. Not even criminals or the homeless people on the street corners asking for $ who may be drug addicts, alcoholics or just plain lazy. I see every human as equal even though their life circumstances may have pushed them into a not so favorable direction. I have empathy for them. I have not walked in their shoes so who is to say I would have done better?
So that's really all I have to say right now. Did anyone else find any benefits to being depressed other than what I mentioned?
This baseline "depression" is part of who I am and it will never go away because I see reality for what it is. I can't medicate or therapize my way out of this. I am not religious nor can I live with rose colored glasses. I am the glass is half empty type of person. I have accepted this is who I am. Now for the benefits..#1. I absolutely don't give a shit what anyone thinks because nothing ultimately matters and we will all be forgotten because we will all eventually be dead.
#2. I am not intimidated by anyone nor jealous, regardless of beauty, status, power or money, because same reason..eventually they will all be dead too. Death is the great equalizer and we all end up a pile of dust in the end.
#3 Empathy. Because I have suffered to the most extreme unbearable levels of mental torture, I no longer judge anyone. Not even criminals or the homeless people on the street corners asking for $ who may be drug addicts, alcoholics or just plain lazy. I see every human as equal even though their life circumstances may have pushed them into a not so favorable direction. I have empathy for them. I have not walked in their shoes so who is to say I would have done better?
So that's really all I have to say right now. Did anyone else find any benefits to being depressed other than what I mentioned?
