Baked beans

[StateOfMind]

Despite my status as a neet depressed alcoholic stasi victim in mom's basement I felt surprisingly content and satisfied yesterday.

I don't know how to rationalize this other than the stasi laced my pizza delivery (which I have 3 to 4 times a week) with drugs that makes you more happy.
Maybe I need to go back to tin-food so they can't fuck with my emotional state.
Maybe its something more trivial like the weather getting nicer, I just don't know..

You might think this is a good thing, imo it's not because I need to know AND feel where I'm truly at, and that's dark miserable place.
It's not enough happiness to make any meaningful or positive changes but just enough to not kill myself.
I'm at whits end, I just need to end this bullshit.. I feel like life is trolling me.

Anyone else gets unexplained random spells of happiness despite being in a hopeless situation?

 

[motel rooms]

Anyone else gets unexplained random spells of happiness despite being in a hopeless situation?

Don't worry, they don't last long

 

[Bat 17]

I haven't felt happy for at least 18 months. I'm not clear if it's me or the medication or both

I'm quite a good actor so I appear superficially cheerful to people and know how to make them laugh (I think), so I don't think most people know

 

[TheAmazingCriswell]

Don't worry, they don't last long

An interesting observation.
Most people, let's call them "normal" for lack of a better word, would say that life is mainly good with bad parts in between, but all life consists fundamentally of suffering. This can easily be proven:
If you sit down and don't do anything, you will die of starvation and dehydration.
If you eat and drink, but don't do anything else, you will go insane from lack of mental exercise and suffer horribly from lack of physical exercise.
Essentially, your entire life consists of conscious and unconscious effort to avoid suffering; you have to work all the time to at least live a neutral existence. This leads to the conclusion that life is mainly bad with good parts in between.

 

[StateOfMind]

I haven't felt happy for at least 18 months.

That's very specific. How did you keep track?

 

[motel rooms]

An interesting observation.
Most people, let's call them "normal" for lack of a better word, would say that life is mainly good with bad parts in between, but all life consists fundamentally of suffering. This can easily be proven:
If you sit down and don't do anything, you will die of starvation and dehydration.
If you eat and drink, but don't do anything else, you will go insane from lack of mental exercise and suffer horribly from lack of physical exercise.
Essentially, your entire life consists of conscious and unconscious effort to avoid suffering; you have to work all the time to at least live a neutral existence. This leads to the conclusion that life is mainly bad with good parts in between.

There is only one inborn error, and that is the notion that we exist in order to be happy. At every step, in things great and small, we are bound to experience that the world and life are certainly not arranged for the purpose of maintaining a happy existence.
-- A. Schopenhauer

 

[Bat 17]

That's very specific. How did you keep track?

Breakdown of marriage !

 

[Leiden]

Anyone else gets unexplained random spells of happiness despite being in a hopeless situation?

No

 

[loopylou]

Yea sometimes. Usually when I have had vodka and uppers tho

 

[Aloken]

Yes, but for me, it's just and illusion. Like I'm fooling myself. Soon I'll feel to my bones how I need to go as soon as possible. Like what happened a few minutes ago, actually.

 

[WornOutLife]

I can relate, especially during my breakdown some months ago.

I used to drink booze and order junk food everyday.

In spite being a super duper depressed NEET that was my happiness and escape. I was more than happy with just forgetting about this goddamn reality for some hours.

Now, I deal with the "real" reality from Monday to Friday but on Sats, omg...I'm so happy! Gonna get wasted AF today!

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish I did. Sometimes I feel slightly a bit better but soon enough it is ripped away. It would be nice to have a break from the constant emptiness/anhedonia. I cannot remember what happiness feels like.