mrpeter
Experienced
- Jun 11, 2024
- 215
Recently I've had really bad back pain, every time I lie in bed I get back pain. This has been going on for I think almost 4 months. I think I hurt myself at the gym.
I've always had back problems, before I even started going to the gym, but it was tolerable. I was born with scoliosis, which means my spine is all fucked up. I got back pain if I bend down too much, If I sit on a chair without support, and when I clean.
Recently I've been getting back pain every time I sleep, I've slept on different beds and I still get back pain, before sleeping would actually help with my back pain. I've been going to the gym prior, I haven't gone to the gym in almost 2 months, and my pain has not gotten better, in fact its gotten worse. It's not an issue with my sleeping position, since I've been sleeping on my back. If I sleep on my side, I always wake up with horrible back and shoulder pain(this was before I started going to the gym).
My dad hates me for this, he cancelled my gym subscription, and told me he would not take me again, even if my back pain gets better. I feel like my life is pointless without the gym. The gym has helped me feel a lot better,. It helps with my confidence, and without the gym, I'm scared of losing all my muscle and being ugly.
I've also have been trying to lose weight, which is a bad idea, because I haven't gone to gym, meaning I can lose a lot of muscle.
My dad got mad at me when I stole his headphones, and told me "bad things happen to you, because you don't obey", and he starting bringing up some retarded religion shit, and how God says you should honor your parents, and if you don't bad things will happen.
My metabolism has slowed down also, so losing weight is way harder. Sometimes I'm eating as little as 1400 calories a day. All I've been doing is walking. I want to do pushups, but I can't because of shoulder pain and back pain. and have also been extremely tired lately, because of my sleep. I also don't have motivation and have been lady and depressed.
My dad got pissed at me, that I was doing intermittent fasting, wanted to cook all my meals and not eat my moms food. This was so I could easily control my macros and calories more(I'm trying to eat more protein and less carbs). He told me that I'm always doing things wrong, and to just to do portion control and eat until your full, which is retarded, because I get hungry easily, and even if I eat until I'm full I end up getting hungry in the middle of the night sometimes. Also my dad is 200 pounds, and isn't losing weight himself, so why should i listen to him?
I can't sleep, I already have sleep problems, but they have been getting worse and worse. Sleeping is uncomfortable because it gives me back pain, ass pain, and shoulder pan. I've tried sleeping sitting down but I can't sleep. I've also been having leg pain recently.
I've gone to the doctor, they recommended anti inflammatory, it barley helped. They did an x-ray of my spine and said nothing was wrong.
I also can't cook because it makes my back pain worse, also if I walk too much I get shoulder and back pain.
If my pain never gets better, I will probably kill myself, I'm scared if I attempt suicide and fail, my dad will be extremely mad at me, remember he is religion and religion people can be extremely retarded sometimes, and think that if I'm a good christian, and believe in God all my problems will be solved, and that suicide is murder and evil.
One time he blamed me being suicidal on music, because he thinks metal is satanic. He was also scared if I played violent video games, it would make me more suicidal.
Christian parents are so fucking retarded, but that's a story for another time.
I'm also scared of ending up being sent to a mental hospital, where I'm tortured and abused. I've heard horror stories of mental hospitals, and I'm extremely scared, especially since I'll probably try to kill myself after, then be sent for an even longer time, and if I end up going insane, and end up screaming at the top of my longs, or end up trying to beat up the nurses, then get locked up, and then have to be there for even longer, until I can pretend to be normal again, then live the rest of my life miserable and depressed, because I'll never be able to kill myself.
Only option of suicide I have is hanging I don't have any methods that are gauranteed to kill me(guns, posions, ect). I could fail hanging easily. I know I could jump off a bridge or a building, but unless its high enough I could end up surviving with permanent damage, not to mention that jumping is extremely scary.
I've always had back problems, before I even started going to the gym, but it was tolerable. I was born with scoliosis, which means my spine is all fucked up. I got back pain if I bend down too much, If I sit on a chair without support, and when I clean.
Recently I've been getting back pain every time I sleep, I've slept on different beds and I still get back pain, before sleeping would actually help with my back pain. I've been going to the gym prior, I haven't gone to the gym in almost 2 months, and my pain has not gotten better, in fact its gotten worse. It's not an issue with my sleeping position, since I've been sleeping on my back. If I sleep on my side, I always wake up with horrible back and shoulder pain(this was before I started going to the gym).
My dad hates me for this, he cancelled my gym subscription, and told me he would not take me again, even if my back pain gets better. I feel like my life is pointless without the gym. The gym has helped me feel a lot better,. It helps with my confidence, and without the gym, I'm scared of losing all my muscle and being ugly.
I've also have been trying to lose weight, which is a bad idea, because I haven't gone to gym, meaning I can lose a lot of muscle.
My dad got mad at me when I stole his headphones, and told me "bad things happen to you, because you don't obey", and he starting bringing up some retarded religion shit, and how God says you should honor your parents, and if you don't bad things will happen.
My metabolism has slowed down also, so losing weight is way harder. Sometimes I'm eating as little as 1400 calories a day. All I've been doing is walking. I want to do pushups, but I can't because of shoulder pain and back pain. and have also been extremely tired lately, because of my sleep. I also don't have motivation and have been lady and depressed.
My dad got pissed at me, that I was doing intermittent fasting, wanted to cook all my meals and not eat my moms food. This was so I could easily control my macros and calories more(I'm trying to eat more protein and less carbs). He told me that I'm always doing things wrong, and to just to do portion control and eat until your full, which is retarded, because I get hungry easily, and even if I eat until I'm full I end up getting hungry in the middle of the night sometimes. Also my dad is 200 pounds, and isn't losing weight himself, so why should i listen to him?
I can't sleep, I already have sleep problems, but they have been getting worse and worse. Sleeping is uncomfortable because it gives me back pain, ass pain, and shoulder pan. I've tried sleeping sitting down but I can't sleep. I've also been having leg pain recently.
I've gone to the doctor, they recommended anti inflammatory, it barley helped. They did an x-ray of my spine and said nothing was wrong.
I also can't cook because it makes my back pain worse, also if I walk too much I get shoulder and back pain.
If my pain never gets better, I will probably kill myself, I'm scared if I attempt suicide and fail, my dad will be extremely mad at me, remember he is religion and religion people can be extremely retarded sometimes, and think that if I'm a good christian, and believe in God all my problems will be solved, and that suicide is murder and evil.
One time he blamed me being suicidal on music, because he thinks metal is satanic. He was also scared if I played violent video games, it would make me more suicidal.
Christian parents are so fucking retarded, but that's a story for another time.
I'm also scared of ending up being sent to a mental hospital, where I'm tortured and abused. I've heard horror stories of mental hospitals, and I'm extremely scared, especially since I'll probably try to kill myself after, then be sent for an even longer time, and if I end up going insane, and end up screaming at the top of my longs, or end up trying to beat up the nurses, then get locked up, and then have to be there for even longer, until I can pretend to be normal again, then live the rest of my life miserable and depressed, because I'll never be able to kill myself.
Only option of suicide I have is hanging I don't have any methods that are gauranteed to kill me(guns, posions, ect). I could fail hanging easily. I know I could jump off a bridge or a building, but unless its high enough I could end up surviving with permanent damage, not to mention that jumping is extremely scary.
