Back From The Grave

[Jean4]

I had my Stan moment.

I am always honest. To a fault. I was in a very bad place and hurt by someone who I care about deeply who is going through a difficult time.

Being an impulsive CTBer, was I getting ready? Yes.

I then received a Skype from someone I work with. I am a huge fan of this person. He was talking about lawsuits he is involved in and other matters.

He must have seen the glazed look I had on my face and asked what was wrong. I then had my Stan moment and told him everything.

I told him I was getting ready to CTB. I told him about Stan who CTB. I told him how hurt I was.

Yes, he looked in shock, and in my business suicide is all too common place.

He then said 4 words I needed to hear. Don't. I need you.

Yes. Jean who takes care of everybody had a meltdown and needed someone to realize that maybe she had issues too. I hate to admit I am human, since I hate most humans.

I am back. At this particular second I am OK. I am with my cats.

It has also been getting around in my business the fact that I am suicidal and am doing damage control to prevent the whole world from knowing my business.

I am sorry if I worried anyone. Thank you for all the messages.

I promise, next time I won't leave so abruptly, and am so sorry to all of you who I upset. It was never my intention.

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

 

[6ixxy]

Welcome back, I think I speak on behalf of everyone that you scared us silly. Stay safe & take care.

 

[OreoWellington]

I love you so much.

 

[APharmaDestroyedLife]

I promise, next time I won't leave so abruptly, and am so sorry to all of you who I upset. It was never my intention.

Just glad you're okay and know you're a valued member of this forum and if you need someone to talk to rather than being the one talked at, message me anytime.

 

[CyanideSoup]

I hope you're okay, I know we haven't talked but I was worried about you. I'm glad you're back

 

[Jean4]

I hope you're okay, I know we haven't talked but I was worried about you. I'm glad you're back

I'm here if you ever want to talk. No worries.

 

[Ark]

Nothing to be sorry for. I am just happy you are feeling better today.

 

[Skyview]

You're the spirit level in this forum , keep the bubble centered (if you can)

 

[Jean4]

Nothing to be sorry for. I am just happy you are feeling better today.

You know what this means. You aren't permitted to leave me. ;)

You're the spirit level in this forum , keep the bubble centered (if you can)

No worries. I am ok for now. :)

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Welcome back.

 

[JustVisiting]

happy news!

 

[protonic76]

Sorry, I'm new. what is Stan moment? What business are you in that suicide is common?

 

[Despondent]

I hope you're okay!! ❤ We're here.

 

[Jean4]

Sorry, I'm new. what is Stan moment? What business are you in that suicide is common?

Stan was my partner who recently CTB. He wrote a drunken post in which he described how he told his best friend about the fact he was going to CTB. It just came out.

Welcome by the way. I am glad you are here.:)

 

[Carina]

I'm glad your back. Really glad that you ok for now.

I admit I would've missed you.

 

[protonic76]

Stan was my partner who recently CTB. He wrote a drunken post in which he described how he told his best friend about the fact he was going to CTB. It just came out.

Oh I'm sorry to hear the loss of your boyfriend/husband. Is that the reason you tried to ctb now?

 

[Farmmaa]

I'm glad you're safe @Jean4 , we all are thankful for your contributions here.

Honestly though, I was somewhat relieved for you. I've seen the struggle to stay because of a promise you made to Stan - but it just doesn't feel fair to me at all. He got to end his suffering and you have that right as well.
You deserve your peace

 

[Jean4]

I'm glad you're safe @Jean4 , we all are thankful for your contributions here.

Honestly though, I was somewhat relieved for you. I've seen the struggle to stay because of a promise you made to Stan - but it just doesn't feel fair to me at all. He got to end his suffering and you have that right as well.
You deserve your peace

Thank you. He is right. It isn't my time yet. A temporary lapse in judgment.

 

[TAW122]

Welcome back @Jean4

 

[Jean4]

Oh I'm sorry to hear the loss of your boyfriend/husband. Is that the reason you tried to ctb now?

No. Other stressors compounded in top of that and pushed me over the edge. :)

 

[protonic76]

No. Other stressors compounded in top of that and pushed me over the edge. :)

What method did your husband use to ctb? I hope it wasnt painful. If it was planned, did he leave this world in front of you? Sorry I have so many questions.

 

[Jean4]

What method did your husband use to ctb? I hope it wasnt painful. If it was planned, did he leave this world in front of you? Sorry I have so many questions.

It's ok

This is his goodbye post

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/can-anyone-hear-frank-sinatra.27430/

This was his method
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/stans-guide-to-sn.27535/

I'm glad your back. Really glad that you ok for now.

I admit I would've missed you.

Oh my gawd? Carina has a heart? I won't let anybody know!

 

[Squiddy]

Glad to see you back :)

 

[Carina]

Oh my gawd? Carina has a heart? I won't let anybody know!

Good lol Secret's safe with anyone who reads this thread lol

 

[snorli]

Happy to see you're still with us. Must have felt weird reading your own "obit thread" while still alive .

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

How are you now Jean?
Happy New year by the way.

 

[Jean4]

Happy to see you're still with us. Must have felt weird reading your own "obit thread" while still alive .

Nah. I am used to strange things being said about me. ;)

How are you now Jean?
Happy New year by the way.

I'm ok Kira. Thank you for asking. Counting down to 2020!

 

[PetiteAngel]

I havent been around for a days as Ive been ill so not aware of what has happened..but im glad you are ok @Jean4

 

[Jean4]

I havent been around for a days as Ive been ill so not aware of what has happened..but im glad you are ok @Jean4

Well, welcome back! See what happens when you don't check in?

 

[zeroambition]

I'm happy to see your still with us. Wishing you all the best in 2020