Avoiding “fun” things?

[crystalskies31]

Do any of you also avoid "fun" things or stuff you used to enjoy, in preparation for CTB?

I mean, I don't even know any more. I've just avoided a lot of them for months due to anxiety… even before I decided to CTB.

But I'm also panicking that if I indulge in nice things it'll make me not want to CTB. But it's always temporary, reality hits and I want to CTB again. I can keep telling myself: "this time, it will be better somehow!" But I've done that for so long and… it always ends up like this.

 

[Capsaicin78]

Yup, same over here. Though there are only few fun things left to me anyway. I also try my best to avoid any social interaction outside of this forum lol

 

[NobodyKnowsMe]

I avoid fun things that I used to enjoy simply because they aren't fun anymore.

 

[Hercules]

No, not really. It's the opposite for me. I have tried to do do things I enjoy in order to distract myself from having suicidal 24/7 in order to delay my ctb. I am afraid if I don't stop having these thoughts, I will act on impulse. I already have everything I need.

 

[crystalskies31]

No, not really. It's the opposite for me. I have tried to do do things I enjoy in order to distract myself from having suicidal 24/7 in order to delay my ctb. I am afraid if I don't stop having these thoughts, I will act on impulse. I already have everything I need.

That seems like a great idea!

Personally I first thought I would just have the method at home (SN) and save it for later.

But it's become apparent that I don't see a way forward past the next bit of time, the next few weeks or months anyways.

It's sad, because I don't really think I'm that depressed. If I had better circumstances (that can't be changed-like having money, a family or not being sick), then it would be different. Due to a mixture of bad luck and choices that seemed good at the time but have now brought me to this position. I'm bright and talented but completely stuck.

I avoid fun things that I used to enjoy simply because they aren't fun anymore.
Relatable

 

[FuneralCry]

I do not enjoy anything at all personally. I just try to pass the time until I fall asleep. Being alive only brings me pain and everything feels so pointless. In a way it is like I have already died.

 

[YourNeighbor]

I try as much as possible to have as much meaningful time each day. Doing fun things is critical to that, even something as simple as searching for a good movie to watch most days. Knowing my demise is coming soon makes each moment more precious. Despite the bad, this one life is all we have, and it's a shame to ignore all the beauty around us while here. Eternity is a long time and it will come soon enough in the grand scheme of things, I don't want to waste what little I have left.

As one small example, I find myself looking at clouds, especially around dawn or dusk when the lighting a colors can be truly stunning, far more intently than I ever did. I try to soak in the beauty of even such commonplace sights as much as possible in the moment. I regret not appreciating this world far more than I did when I thought I had far more time.

 

[outrider567]

I avoid fun things that I used to enjoy simply because they aren't fun anymore.

Exactly, can't do anything anymore--With her gone I do nothing, none of the things I used to do, we used to do so many things together, including always planning and making our place better, but its pointless now, can't think of anything that isn't pointless these days

 

[Vault of Memories]

I avoid fun things that I used to enjoy simply because they aren't fun anymore.

That's exactly how I feel. I try to pick up new hobbies every now and then, but can never get myself to commit to any. There is nothing I'd really rather do than lay in my bed.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Not so much avoid. Just doesn't seem like a point to them since I don't intend to be here much longer. Like why try to compete in my card game and win at it or save money if im going to be dead soon.

 

[savoytruffle]

Agree with every comment here, distractions just don't matter anymore

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Yes … nothing gives me pleasure except sleep