sleepytime5
Member
- Jul 13, 2026
- 31
You wake up, slept like absolute shit, you feel pretty alright despite that, first thing you do, you don't brush your teeth, you put on some ragged moist basic clothes on and go for your usual morning walk, it usually takes about an hour and a half, you listen to some music, however half of it isn't music but just scrolling through tiktok with your phone in your pocket because you cant always finish the song and just shuffling through audios or yapping videos that you don't wait until the end for.
You get home to goon, you interrupt yourself many times and somehow your brain is also singing random stuff while doing it, after it the classic wave of misery hits, you try to do something but genuinely can't, ur mom left you some sauce to make pasta with, ur too lazy tho so you just eat the sauce, the kitchen's a mess cause you left it like that
Spend as much as you can doomscrolling, while feeling a painful pain somewhere but you cant really tell where, you contemplate suicide again so you enter your favourite website for your daily hit of dopamine by reading stranger's posts. You're poisoning your mind even more but it releases a minimum amount of dopamine so fairs ig.
U get a call from ur dad, he is tryna hear from you or get you to visit him, you try to politely tell him no despite feeling like telling him that you hate him more than anything and that he'll soon see, if you end up visiting him he's gonna talk about some dumb shit like how you need to start dressing better, doing this or that, always some dumb shit
Ur mom comes home she asks what have u been up to but u genuinely did nothing, u manage to force urself into calling ur friend and it actually ends up making you feel good for that moment, not for the long run but for the moment, you read him your posts and reveal how suicidal you are but try to keep it cool, yk if it wasn't for his fear of death you'd have lost him a while ago. ur mom comes and brushes your hair, u don't feel comforted, she then tells you to take a shower
U don't take no shower instead u pick at your wounds and get blood dripping all over ur legs, eventually the oiliness from ur hair and face drives u mad and the dried blood is ridiculous so you take a shower, u feel very heavy
U go for ur evening walk this time, same clothes, same shoes that have holes in them, ur not poor, u just don't wanna ask your mom for money and ur dad always avoids giving u anything unless u put a knife to his throat
During the walk you might hallucinate some faces on the back of cars or flying white stuff that you cant quite explain what it is, you learned to ignore it tho, you feed into ur delusions of how ur actually immortal and suicide is just a way of bargaining with the universe
U get home and by this time ur completely detached from anything real, u feel good tho, a floaty like sensation, nothing feels real but in a good way, after some more doomscrolling u manage to fall asleep, while ofc thinking of that big cliff in ur city and how to jump it
You get home to goon, you interrupt yourself many times and somehow your brain is also singing random stuff while doing it, after it the classic wave of misery hits, you try to do something but genuinely can't, ur mom left you some sauce to make pasta with, ur too lazy tho so you just eat the sauce, the kitchen's a mess cause you left it like that
Spend as much as you can doomscrolling, while feeling a painful pain somewhere but you cant really tell where, you contemplate suicide again so you enter your favourite website for your daily hit of dopamine by reading stranger's posts. You're poisoning your mind even more but it releases a minimum amount of dopamine so fairs ig.
U get a call from ur dad, he is tryna hear from you or get you to visit him, you try to politely tell him no despite feeling like telling him that you hate him more than anything and that he'll soon see, if you end up visiting him he's gonna talk about some dumb shit like how you need to start dressing better, doing this or that, always some dumb shit
Ur mom comes home she asks what have u been up to but u genuinely did nothing, u manage to force urself into calling ur friend and it actually ends up making you feel good for that moment, not for the long run but for the moment, you read him your posts and reveal how suicidal you are but try to keep it cool, yk if it wasn't for his fear of death you'd have lost him a while ago. ur mom comes and brushes your hair, u don't feel comforted, she then tells you to take a shower
U don't take no shower instead u pick at your wounds and get blood dripping all over ur legs, eventually the oiliness from ur hair and face drives u mad and the dried blood is ridiculous so you take a shower, u feel very heavy
U go for ur evening walk this time, same clothes, same shoes that have holes in them, ur not poor, u just don't wanna ask your mom for money and ur dad always avoids giving u anything unless u put a knife to his throat
During the walk you might hallucinate some faces on the back of cars or flying white stuff that you cant quite explain what it is, you learned to ignore it tho, you feed into ur delusions of how ur actually immortal and suicide is just a way of bargaining with the universe
U get home and by this time ur completely detached from anything real, u feel good tho, a floaty like sensation, nothing feels real but in a good way, after some more doomscrolling u manage to fall asleep, while ofc thinking of that big cliff in ur city and how to jump it
