i guess i'll need to make an update on here later regarding this topic.
my parents were never attentive and considered any of my behaviour normal to the extent where i was respecting their rules, they were also very anti therapy/diagnosis.
my brothers and other adults on the other hand would tell my parents that i was often all alone at (primary) school.
the more i grew up and the more i started to appear as defective and abnormal.
it was in middle school that my teacher and nurse convinced my parents to seek professional help which, unfortunately, didn't work because i wouldn't talk at all and the therapists couldn't wait so much.
after a while, my first time talking to them automatically led me straight into a psychiatric hospital as i had overshared with credulity, thinking that it was the right place for such conversations but i was wrong.
after many years of therapy sessions, examinations, tests etc, many different professionnals came into the same conclusion, suspecting ASD to be the root of my problems.
eventually, a dossier was sent to a center specialized in neurodivergence.
here in France you have to wait 9 months to a year tp get an appointment and a day-long testing, it's been 7 months so i'm still waiting.
in a way, i feel that it is too late for the diagnosis to be of any utility but i also want to know if it is in fact autism or something else or nothing at all but plain dysfunction.
and in a way, honestly it really would be the x to the equation, even all my precedent diagnosis were labeled ''atypical''.