Sad_Autistic_boy_101
When I die, you'll love me.
- Nov 19, 2019
- 453
Hello Everyone,
I thought I would do an update as things have managed to change since I last posted.
As an Autistic person I find it nearly impossible to lie and I feel this affects the ways that I have accessible to CTB as it all comes out before I can stop myself from saying the truth. I told my therapist that I had a plan and now I've had my tablets and noose removed. I feel like I'm being left with no options.. which of course is their goal . I was thinking this means I need a method where the item cannot be taken away from me such as a bathtub and water.. I have been researching the blackout water method but this seems to have a mixed reviews. Is there other methods where items are physically impossible to remove?
I've lost all hope with things improving. Since I last posted, I had built a trusting mentor/ support working type relationship for the first time since my father figure CTB. I really put effort into trying to trust this person as I want my life to improve and get better. But then their boss has decided they can no longer work with me and are taking them away. I feel like i've lost the beacon of hope that I was starting to build for the first time. So I have decided that CTB is what will be best for me soon. Honestly they cannot tell me that I haven't tried when in reality it's the constant failing of the disability and mental health system that prevents me from having a quality of life. I tried. I really tried. But it all just gets crapped upon. I'm tired of suffering every day.
I thought I would do an update as things have managed to change since I last posted.
As an Autistic person I find it nearly impossible to lie and I feel this affects the ways that I have accessible to CTB as it all comes out before I can stop myself from saying the truth. I told my therapist that I had a plan and now I've had my tablets and noose removed. I feel like I'm being left with no options.. which of course is their goal . I was thinking this means I need a method where the item cannot be taken away from me such as a bathtub and water.. I have been researching the blackout water method but this seems to have a mixed reviews. Is there other methods where items are physically impossible to remove?
I've lost all hope with things improving. Since I last posted, I had built a trusting mentor/ support working type relationship for the first time since my father figure CTB. I really put effort into trying to trust this person as I want my life to improve and get better. But then their boss has decided they can no longer work with me and are taking them away. I feel like i've lost the beacon of hope that I was starting to build for the first time. So I have decided that CTB is what will be best for me soon. Honestly they cannot tell me that I haven't tried when in reality it's the constant failing of the disability and mental health system that prevents me from having a quality of life. I tried. I really tried. But it all just gets crapped upon. I'm tired of suffering every day.