Discussion Attempts pre-SS?

[trynacbt]

I'm really thankful for having found this site, or I never would've found out about what is now my chosen method, SN. (And, of course, because I get to meet/chat with people who actually *get it*!)

Three years ago I went on a suicide-attempt-frenzy, or at least it felt that way in my head. Thing is, I knew nothing about suicide and so I thought it was wayyyy easier to ctb than it actually is. I thought it might be fun/interesting to share attempts that maybe were uninformed/silly.

For instance, I tried hanging myself with a scarf without doing any research about it. The door to my room was open and my dad walked in. (I was really desperate.)

I tried to ctb by putting a plastic bag over my head. That's all. SI kicked my butt every time.

I tried hanging myself in the bathroom (more privacy this time), but on a hook that would never hold my weight, and with the belt of a bathrobe........

I ordered a pong pong seed online--more sophisticated, but I was overly convinced it would do the trick and I didn't know what antiemetics were. And then I never tried it because I'd ordered it to my home where my parents intercepted it.

These were probably more foolish than average but I really didn't know what I was doing.
Now I'm taking each step towards SN very carefully.

 

[SinisterKid]

I searched online 3 years ago and found the Amitriptyline method and as it was prescribed to me at the time, I had copious amounts of it. I came within a whisker of being successful. But like you, prior to that I had no knowledge of suicide, SI, SN or anything else connected with suicide. I was a member of a different forum which prevented us talking about methods and the like, which for people who are thinking about killing themselves, is not much use. I loved that place but it was too restrictive.

Then I found this place, purely by accident and found it to be a good fit. I learnt a lot very quickly. I have a great deal of empathy with most members here. I have been where they are, twice now and I relate well to their stories even though I am probably one of the oldest [in years] members here. I am definitely pro choice. What choices anyone makes here, so long as it does not hurt others in a physical sense, I will always support them.

Like you, I now have all I need to end my own life, if and when I choose to. There is no rush. Death is final as far as we know, but as my health deteriorates and my money runs out, I will have decisions to make. I have made my peace with that.