attempting tonight.

[cind3rs]

attempting to ctb via sn tonight. (in ~4 hours from the time this posts)

5' 2" female, about 155 lbs (don't have access to a working scale to check). i only have enough sn to make one drink: around ~23g SN w/ 41g of water. the rest of my sn was used up in a failed attempt. the sn i do have may have turned into nitrate so this attempt may also fail. if it fails, i will let you all know. i am using the stat dose method so i will be taking 30g of meto an hour before drinking the sn. this is because i am bad at swallowing pills, so i am allotting extra time for the pills to hopefully get down my throat and into my system. i will not have eaten or drank for about 12 hours by the time i drink the sn.

i am hoping that this works. i don't think i can afford to fail. i am trying to fool my SI into thinking that i am just "attempting" with no real chance of success (ie: nitrate, throwing up due to the taste, etc.) but i think that i may freeze up while trying to swallow the sn again. i am going to do my best to drink it this time. i hope that by posting this, i can hold myself accountable and commit to ctb. i'm already past my initial deadline for ctb, i don't want to be late any longer.

 

[xyazyppgy]

Did you use any antiemetics? Is it the swallowing portion where you struggle or when it is sitting? Grotesque but ED forums may have advice on getting it "down the hatch"

 

[cind3rs]

Did you use any antiemetics? Is it the swallowing portion where you struggle or when it is sitting? Grotesque but ED forums may have advice on getting it "down the hatch"

i will be using 30g of meto in this attempt. last time i attempted sn, i struggled to swallow because of the taste and then abandoned the attempt after i broke down. i don't think i've gotten to the "sitting" part yet.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I wish you all the best with your plan! Why do you think it may have turned into nitrate? That process is very slow.

I hope you find peace and have a safe journey! Good luck!

 

[NightshadeDreamer]

I wish you luck!

 

[xyazyppgy]

i will be using 30g of meto in this attempt. last time i attempted sn, i struggled to swallow because of the taste and then abandoned the attempt after i broke down. i don't think i've gotten to the "sitting" part yet.

Peace in your journey <3

 

[notverylucid]

I hope you can be relieved of all the pain that you are suffering, and that you are able to pass peacefully. Good luck!

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best with your plans, I hope you find the freedom you are searching for.