Help Attempting to test if I'm okay with dying?

[thisIsNotEnough]

My constant ruminating over everything I can't change in my life and difficulty sleeping due to nightmares from trauma is impacting my cognitive functioning. Feel like I'm slowly going insane and less able to make the choice for myself. Want to attempt before it's too late. Not sure if I want to die. But I don't want to be stuck living when I can no longer trust my judgment

I always hear people say that it took them making an attempt to realize just how much they want to live. I want to test that theory. My suspicion is people "wanting to live" after an attempt is just SI but idk maybe it's more than that for some people. If anything it'll show that I am actually capable of making an attempt and ctb isn't just a fantasy. I don't really have anything to attempt with though :(

Has anyone done this and what was it like?

 

[LostZombie]

Has anyone done this and what was it like?

I have also been in an attempt when my SI kicked in. I saw all the reasons to live, however I would like to ask you one question. If you could sleep for 50 years without aging, or to go sleep and not wake up which one would you choose.

Only you can interpenetrate the answer, I wish you luck!