• New TOR Mirror: suicidffbey666ur5gspccbcw2zc7yoat34wbybqa3boei6bysflbvqd.onion

  • Hey Guest,

    If you want to donate, we have a thread with updated donation options here at this link: About Donations

kirby555

kirby555

S'all bad man
Feb 15, 2024
21
Hello!

I've committed myself to ctb now. It's been something I've been thinking about for a while, and in the past year my life has basically collapsed. I wanted to do it about a year ago, but I gave myself one last effort at fixing my life, but it has ultimately failed, and now I am tired of everything.

My initial plan was to use rope, but I figured it would be too difficult and risky, especially in my current living situation.
I've asked around, and it seems like the best option for me is to use SN. I have gathered basically all of the supplies (including AE), but now I have to get the SN itself, and I have some questions.

1. What is a good source to get it? I've read around about an "MDS", but I haven't been able to figure out what that source is. I've been asking around, but I realize that might be spammy and I apologize if I have bothered anyone.
2. I live in the US, would there be a high chance of getting a welfare check? If that happens, my plans are basically gone due to my living situation.
3. Following 2, would it be best to get like a PO box for me to receive the SN? I cannot get it delivered directly to my house (again, living situation). Would having a separate mailbox/PO box be the best solution? I want to be able to best hide my address (again, scared of welfare check). If I do use a PO box, how should I best get one?

Beyond that, I have everything set up. I have the location, the supplies, and even my ctb note (20+ pages!) to give to the ones I love after I'm gone. It details all the trials in life I faced, but also the hopes and blessings I want to give everyone else.

Thank you for reading, I am really am looking forward to a peaceful ending. I am grateful for this forum for all the help and resources provided, and I will appreciate anyone's advice or help with my plans.
 
Last edited:
B

BitSad

Member
Feb 21, 2024
15
Saw your post and I queue in asking apologies for being a bit spammy as well.
It is pretty understandable that the source seems like a gold source right now, as it seems more and more are shut down.
I hope we're both fortunate enough in searching.
I'm from Europe and I might have found a Poland one, but too afraid is not reliable.
 
  • Love
Reactions: kirby555
kirby555

kirby555

S'all bad man
Feb 15, 2024
21
Saw your post and I queue in asking apologies for being a bit spammy as well.
It is pretty understandable that the source seems like a gold source right now, as it seems more and more are shut down.
I hope we're both fortunate enough in searching.
I'm from Europe and I might have found a Poland one, but too afraid is not reliable.
Yeah it's tough, I understand why keeping the sources so hidden is necessary, and I could use any help.
 
Relic

Relic

Astral Corpse
Mar 6, 2021
449
I'm from Europe and I might have found a Poland one, but too afraid is not reliable.
Polish chemicals used to be high quality.

Yeah it's tough, I understand why keeping the sources so hidden is necessary, and I could use any help.
At one point it was something like a crusade against retailers, could have called it ridiculous if it wasn't so damaging. So everyone is cautious for a reason. At the same time it is not a game, and people have serious problems. So if it is any help, it took less than two minutes to find it with a right search engine and keywords. Keywords are all over the forum, and if you have read through the recent threads you probably have all the info.
 
B

BitSad

Member
Feb 21, 2024
15
Polish chemicals used to be high quality.


At one point it was something like a crusade against retailers, could have called it ridiculous if it wasn't so damaging. So everyone is cautious for a reason. At the same time it is not a game, and people have serious problems. So if it is any help, it took less than two minutes to find it with a right search engine and keywords. Keywords are all over the forum, and if you have read through the recent threads you probably have all the info.
The Polish I found is W, but I'm too afraid is not reliable. I'm too paranoid.
It is so not a game, and it's far more than understandable that the source cannot be shared so easily.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Relic
Relic

Relic

Astral Corpse
Mar 6, 2021
449
The Polish I found is W, but I'm too afraid is not reliable. I'm too paranoid.
It is so not a game, and it's far more than understandable that the source cannot be shared so easily.
Poland has many vendors, but due to this shitstorm they may not ship that specific chemical internationally. The current main source, however, is hidden in plain sight.
 
  • Like
Reactions: kirby555
kirby555

kirby555

S'all bad man
Feb 15, 2024
21
Polish chemicals used to be high quality.


At one point it was something like a crusade against retailers, could have called it ridiculous if it wasn't so damaging. So everyone is cautious for a reason. At the same time it is not a game, and people have serious problems. So if it is any help, it took less than two minutes to find it with a right search engine and keywords. Keywords are all over the forum, and if you have read through the recent threads you probably have all the info.
Poland has many vendors, but due to this shitstorm they may not ship that specific chemical internationally. The current main source, however, is hidden in plain sight.
Haha, I appreciate the clues, I will keep trying to look for it, it's a little fun before I go. As for keywords, right now I only really know SN and MDS, since they are the ones most related to me, unless keywords means something beyond acronyms.
 
Relic

Relic

Astral Corpse
Mar 6, 2021
449
unless keywords means something beyond acronyms
No acronyms. Full name of what you are looking for, and a country you want it from. Three keywords in total. It can't get any easier. I'm sure the fixers have found it already, but it is somewhere that doesn't give a shit.
 
kirby555

kirby555

S'all bad man
Feb 15, 2024
21
No acronyms. Full name of what you are looking for, and a country you want it from. Three keywords in total. It can't get any easier. I'm sure the fixers have found it already, but it is somewhere that doesn't give a shit.
I guess either my search engines are bad or I am just dumb, still struggling to find it. I see a lot of sellers, but not sure which, if any, are this elusive MDS.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Relic
Relic

Relic

Astral Corpse
Mar 6, 2021
449
I guess either my search engines are bad or I am just dumb, still struggling to find it. I see a lot of sellers, but not sure which, if any, are this elusive MDS.
Any more clues, and the topic could be moved to Forum Games. But yes, the search engine is important. Maybe hiding really does protect the site somewhat. But when you find it you'll know, it will be rather obvious.
 
  • Like
Reactions: kirby555
kirby555

kirby555

S'all bad man
Feb 15, 2024
21
Any more clues, and the topic could be moved to Forum Games. But yes, the search engine is important. Maybe hiding really does protect the site somewhat. But when you find it you'll know, it will be rather obvious.
Hilariously spent another hour with no luck, maybe it wasn't meant to be. I'll try again after a sleep I suppose.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Relic
Relic

Relic

Astral Corpse
Mar 6, 2021
449
Hilariously spent another hour with no luck, maybe it wasn't meant to be. I'll try again after a sleep I suppose.
What search engines are you using? The riddles are not meant to give you a runaround. I just felt that everyone deserves a chance. It should not take that long.
 
  • Like
Reactions: kirby555
H

headed home

Member
Feb 23, 2024
18
hey I know it says I'm new here but my old account was diabled. I'm back now looking for the same thing as you. If you can pm me the answer I would greatly appreciate it.
 
kirby555

kirby555

S'all bad man
Feb 15, 2024
21
What search engines are you using? The riddles are not meant to give you a runaround. I just felt that everyone deserves a chance. It should not take that long.
I believe I found it, now is the time to figure out how to ship it over. My idea is to use a PO box, so I'll have to figure that out
 
  • Like
Reactions: Relic
E

Elijahh

Member
Mar 24, 2024
17
I believe I found it, now is the time to figure out how to ship it over. My idea is to use a PO box, so I'll have to figure that out
Could you please pm me for the source, I tried messaging you but idk how. Thanks in advance
 

Similar threads

snow-angel
Replies
7
Views
205
Suicide Discussion
jojobanana
J
homesoon.
Replies
4
Views
259
Suicide Discussion
dreamfloat
dreamfloat
L
Replies
0
Views
92
Suicide Discussion
lifewasawillowtv
L
sliceOfBasil
Replies
6
Views
260
Suicide Discussion
PurpleMorality
PurpleMorality
suicidalcatlady
Replies
3
Views
130
Suicide Discussion
rozeske
R