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asparagus

asparagus

Member
Mar 4, 2023
8
I don't want to die, but at the same time i do. I want to get help, like therapy or something, but I don't know how to. I sh, if my mother finds out or if I tell her i need help, she'll be really hurt, and I don't want to see it so that's another reason i want to CTB. I feel like attempting to CTB is the only way to get help… so are there any methods that have a high chance of surviving?
 
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Mr. Incapable

Mr. Incapable

Also inadequate, incompetent, weak & powerless
Jun 21, 2022
175
I don't want to die, but at the same time i do. I want to get help, like therapy or something, but I don't know how to. I sh, if my mother finds out or if I tell her i need help, she'll be really hurt, and I don't want to see it so that's another reason i want to CTB. I feel like attempting to CTB is the only way to get help… so are there any methods that have a high chance of surviving?
This only counts if you're from the UK, if not then sorry for wasting your time but if you don't want to die but you want to access mental health services the best way is to visit your GP. If you say you want help but have no intent or plans to harm yourself then they will likely categorise you as low risk and try to help you themselves through anti depressants and probably sign post you to external agencies like MIND or Samaritans. If you say you have ruminating thoughts of suicide and express at times you feel you cannot keep yourself safe (whether true or not) then they will likely refer you to a CMHT where you'll have access to screenings, visits (at home or somewhere in the community), therapies and assessments from practitioners, psychiatrists, support workers etc. CMHTs will discharge you from their services if they believe you no longer require their services though. There are other ways to access services like speaking to 111 but be careful what you say because if you give them any reason to think you're an imminent threat to yourself then they can call an ambulance to your home or the police if you leave your home.

If you try to access services by attempting to ctb, then you'll possibly end up on a ward for up to 30 days and (from experience) this is usually very stressful, not just for yourself but for your family, too because you'll likely be detained under the mental health act, taken to a MH hospital by police or ambulance and waiting in a room for two doctors and a social worker to get together and assess you. Also if there's no beds available in that hospital, and the nearest bed is 3 hours across the country, they will take you there (if you're involuntarily sectioned and decided you need admission).

So the simplest way is to just visit your GP and give them a reason to refer you to a CMHT. Or just find a private therapist if you can afford it.
 
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LaVieEnRose

LaVieEnRose

Angelic
Jul 23, 2022
4,051
if my mother finds out or if I tell her i need help, she'll be really hurt, and I don't want to see it so that's another reason i want to CTB
Surely whatever distress that causes would absolutely pale to the distress if you CTB'ed. You deserve to access help and to not have to maim yourself to do so. In this case, your mother's emotional reaction to your asking for help is hers to manage.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
35,440
I think that if you want to be "helped" then you are better off posting in the recovery section. This is an actual suicide forum, not a self harm, suicide gesture forum. I think that people should only attempt suicide methods if they actually want to die, suicide gestures are a terrible idea and only lead to more suffering.
 
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G

gnomes

Member
Mar 1, 2023
11
I don't want to die, but at the same time i do. I want to get help, like therapy or something, but I don't know how to. I sh, if my mother finds out or if I tell her i need help, she'll be really hurt, and I don't want to see it so that's another reason i want to CTB. I feel like attempting to CTB is the only way to get help… so are there any methods that have a high chance of surviving?
I don't know how old you are and if you're a minor..but asking for help is often the hardest part. But you deserve to! I don't know what your home life or mom is like. You can try talking to a counselor or teacher you trust if you're still in school. Talking is the first step.
 
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nozomu

nozomu

Global Mod // will i wiN my recovery arc
Nov 28, 2022
1,067
How old are you? If you want to go to the ward, you can go and tell them you have a plan and if they don't help you you will do it. I think that should count as enough to get help
 
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G

ghostgoth

New Member
Jan 24, 2023
4
I don't want to die, but at the same time i do. I want to get help, like therapy or something, but I don't know how to. I sh, if my mother finds out or if I tell her i need help, she'll be really hurt, and I don't want to see it so that's another reason i want to CTB. I feel like attempting to CTB is the only way to get help… so are there any methods that have a high chance of surviving?
I feel like this a lot at the moment. I want help, and have been waiting 2.5 years. When I have gone hospital and say I want to attempt they did provide resources and a team to make sure I didn't attempt, but I was put on waiting lists now for therapies to come quicker, but I feel so hopeless in the meantime. I don't believe the help will make things better. I have no reasons to be alive so sometimes I wanna CTB and hope it does work and if doesn't then see what access to help I will get then.

I understand the not wanting your mother to know. I recommend going to A&E and telling them you want to kill yourself, a mental health team will assess you and can refer and get you into therapies or other help and your mother doesn't even need to know (mine didn't when I went, however, it might be different depending on your age). You can also self-refer to places as well without her knowing, there's often websites which will let you email or call and you can be put on a waiting list. Also, this helped me in the UK. It may not work other countries, but it's worth a try.
 
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