Attempting in a bit

[HelloAllYouPeople]

Have SN mix ready. And the medicines needed for stat dose based on stan's guide. I'm in a hotel. Check out is in 14 hours.
I said goodnight to my friends and family now. I love them.
Hoo boy I'm scared. If I dont do it, I'm gonna use the courage to steer my life. I'll quit my high-stress job and start looking for a better life. Fuck it, I didnt face death for nothing.
If I do it, then it is what it is. It's been a good run.
Regardless of the outcome, thank you all for your support :)

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do. I hope you find what you are looking for.

 

[lostmylove]

I wish you the best. You have a QR code in the bottom of the picture. I'm not sure if it's fully visible so it may not be able to scan.

But probably wise if you delete the photo incase it does scan and gives details of the hotels schemes and where you are roughly. Probably I'm overthinking

 

[HelloAllYouPeople]

I wish you the best. You have a QR code in the bottom of the picture. I'm not sure if it's fully visible so it may not be able to scan.

But probably wise if you delete the photo incase it does scan and gives details of the hotels schemes and where you are roughly. Probably I'm overthinking

Hahaha holy shit thanks
Yeah that wasnt the wisest. Im scared right now so thank you
Oki cropped it. I'm leaving the cropped photo so people know what to expect when doing the stat dose :)

 

[lostmylove]

Hahaha holy shit thanks
Yeah that wasnt the wisest. Im scared right now so thank you
Oki cropped it. I'm leaving the cropped photo so people know what to expect when doing the stat dose :)

All good I wasn't wanting to say anything either cuz Ik I have paranoia and didn't wanna project that. You good now: don't worry. Everything gonna b ok. If you decide to leave I hope you get what you want. I'll be joining you soon

 

[Sm42]

I wish you the best but if you are not ready to go you will always have time.

 

[HelloAllYouPeople]

All good I wasn't wanting to say anything either cuz Ik I have paranoia and didn't wanna project that. You good now: don't worry. Everything gonna b ok. If you decide to leave I hope you get what you want. I'll be joining you soon

Your paranoia saved my dumb ass, i'm very thankful for it right now :D
I'll hang out here till its time for SN. Right now all my stuff is packed and I'm dressed "for work". I even have cologne on lol

 

[Cathy Ames]

If you decide not to, please DO come back and post in recovery. I think it's a good idea to channel this feeling you're having right now into a positive change. Just know you're not alone right now.

 

[nightshow]

godspeed

 

[HelloAllYouPeople]

Got some time till SN. Might as well write down the experience for the curious.

Earlier:
Unsealing and opening the SN was really an experience. "This is it holy shit am I finally doing it." Shook a small amount into the mug.
So weird to see death look like a teaspoon of table salt. Had some frustration with adding more cause the bottle I got had huge clumps of SN.

Just now:
Starting the regimen is scary! Popping open the first painkiller took 3-4 mins. my thumb was barely moving out of fear hahaha.
Domperidone is milky.
The antacid's kinda funny. Just took 3 huge tablets, my throat hurts lol. Kinda minty too.

 

[lostmylove]

Got some time till SN. Might as well write down the experience for the curious.

Earlier:
Unsealing and opening the SN was really an experience. "This is it holy shit am I finally doing it." Shook a small amount into the mug.
So weird to see death look like a teaspoon of table salt. Had some frustration with adding more cause the bottle I got had huge clumps of SN.

Just now:
Starting the regimen is scary! Popping open the first painkiller took 3-4 mins. my thumb was barely moving out of fear hahaha.
Domperidone is milky.
The antacid's kinda funny. Just took 3 huge tablets, my throat hurts lol. Kinda minty too.

Is this your first attempt?

 

[HelloAllYouPeople]

Is this your first attempt?

Third, actually!
First was cutting, too painful didnt bother.
Second was partial. Tilted my neck up and the world went silent in 5 seconds. SI took over though. But I'll always have partial for my backup

 

[Endtimes1]

Got some time till SN. Might as well write down the experience for the curious.

Earlier:
Unsealing and opening the SN was really an experience. "This is it holy shit am I finally doing it." Shook a small amount into the mug.
So weird to see death look like a teaspoon of table salt. Had some frustration with adding more cause the bottle I got had huge clumps of SN.

Just now:
Starting the regimen is scary! Popping open the first painkiller took 3-4 mins. my thumb was barely moving out of fear hahaha.
Domperidone is milky.
The antacid's kinda funny. Just took 3 huge tablets, my throat hurts lol. Kinda minty too.

Remember it's never wrong to backing out. You have all the time in the world later if things would not improve. Feeling fully free to back out, keep this in mind please.

 

[HelloAllYouPeople]

Alright time to clear my browsing history. I'll update if i didnt go through. If I dont then im gone hahaha

 

[AloneInCollege]

Alright time to clear my browsing history. I'll update if i didnt go through. If I dont then im gone hahaha

Godspeed man, I hope you find peace either way.

 

[HelloAllYouPeople]

Haha I spent 35 minutes trying to tilt the damn mug. Spent 35 minutes convincing myself to drink. It was in my face, just needed to tilt it enough to drink.

Felt the tiniest bit of the solution on my lips, then I put the mug away so fast I almost broke it. Rinsed my mouth asap.

I guess the real answer is in the back of my head: I'm not ready.

Well shit now that I faced death, I'm quitting my stressful job the moment I come back. But for now I'm sleeping early so I can get breakfast tomorrow. Fasting for SN got me really hungry.

I think I needed all of this. Isolating in the hotel, thinking about life, and facing death. I'm genuinely glad this forum exists. Staring at death and feeling SI has done a lot for me. Thank you everyone ❤

Tomorrow I'll go swipe whatever hotel freebies I can and have lunch with a friend. It's gonna be my last day of "emergency leave" at work lol.

 

[Pain In The Ass]

I'll quit my high-stress job and start looking for a better life

I'd probably try that first.

 

[thethatisitboy]

Haha I spent 35 minutes trying to tilt the damn mug. Spent 35 minutes convincing myself to drink. It was in my face, just needed to tilt it enough to drink.

Felt the tiniest bit of the solution on my lips, then I put the mug away so fast I almost broke it. Rinsed my mouth asap.

I guess the real answer is in the back of my head: I'm not ready.

Well shit now that I faced death, I'm quitting my stressful job the moment I come back. But for now I'm sleeping early so I can get breakfast tomorrow. Fasting for SN got me really hungry.

I think I needed all of this. Isolating in the hotel, thinking about life, and facing death. I'm genuinely glad this forum exists. Staring at death and feeling SI has done a lot for me. Thank you everyone ❤

Tomorrow I'll go swipe whatever hotel freebies I can and have lunch with a friend. It's gonna be my last day of "emergency leave" at work lol.

I hope u the best, homie

 

[Cathy Ames]

Haha I spent 35 minutes trying to tilt the damn mug. Spent 35 minutes convincing myself to drink. It was in my face, just needed to tilt it enough to drink.

Felt the tiniest bit of the solution on my lips, then I put the mug away so fast I almost broke it. Rinsed my mouth asap.

I guess the real answer is in the back of my head: I'm not ready.

Well shit now that I faced death, I'm quitting my stressful job the moment I come back. But for now I'm sleeping early so I can get breakfast tomorrow. Fasting for SN got me really hungry.

I think I needed all of this. Isolating in the hotel, thinking about life, and facing death. I'm genuinely glad this forum exists. Staring at death and feeling SI has done a lot for me. Thank you everyone ❤

Tomorrow I'll go swipe whatever hotel freebies I can and have lunch with a friend. It's gonna be my last day of "emergency leave" at work lol.

I procrastinated reading the rest of your thread, and I'm really happy to see this!!! Here's wishing you all of the best making those changes and making your life better.

 

[Ednospatient]

I would imagine using a straw would make it easier, and mixing with something other than water

 

[Cra87]

All best

 

[lostmylove]

Haha I spent 35 minutes trying to tilt the damn mug. Spent 35 minutes convincing myself to drink. It was in my face, just needed to tilt it enough to drink.

Felt the tiniest bit of the solution on my lips, then I put the mug away so fast I almost broke it. Rinsed my mouth asap.

I guess the real answer is in the back of my head: I'm not ready.

Well shit now that I faced death, I'm quitting my stressful job the moment I come back. But for now I'm sleeping early so I can get breakfast tomorrow. Fasting for SN got me really hungry.

I think I needed all of this. Isolating in the hotel, thinking about life, and facing death. I'm genuinely glad this forum exists. Staring at death and feeling SI has done a lot for me. Thank you everyone ❤

Tomorrow I'll go swipe whatever hotel freebies I can and have lunch with a friend. It's gonna be my last day of "emergency leave" at work lol.

This sounds good, remember progress isn't linear things may take time, i agree finding a new job or calling in life could be a practical step forward good luck

 

[HelloAllYouPeople]

Quick update
Woke up to use the bathroom. Based on stan's guide, I would have been dead on the chair by now if I drank it. I can easily picture my dead body resting on the chair right now.

But no, here I am on the bed. Going back to sleep. Life is weird.

I'm still sleepy, I'll respond properly when I can. Thank you for keeping me company tonight, everyone

 

[HelloAllYouPeople]

I would imagine using a straw would make it easier, and mixing with something other than water

I think it would have gone the same way lol. And I'd prefer to really see the SN when I drink. I want to know it's my decision until the end.
--
Thank you for the kind wishes everyone! When things get better, I'll post in the recovery forum. (Thank you to @CathyAmes for the suggestion!)
Though I'm never leaving SS. I have to pay the kindness forward somehow.

I'm gonna go swipe the free hotel toiletries and wine now hehe see y'all.

 

[wanttogetonthebus]

Have SN mix ready. And the medicines needed for stat dose based on stan's guide. I'm in a hotel. Check out is in 14 hours.
I said goodnight to my friends and family now. I love them.
Hoo boy I'm scared. If I dont do it, I'm gonna use the courage to steer my life. I'll quit my high-stress job and start looking for a better life. Fuck it, I didnt face death for nothing.
If I do it, then it is what it is. It's been a good run.
Regardless of the outcome, thank you all for your support :)

You've got this! Regardless of your choice, trust in yourself and stay strong. Take all the space and all the time you need, and make the decision that's best for your wellbeing and no one else's. Wishing you all the best. May you find happiness and peace.
Also, feel free to reach out to me if you need anyone to talk or vent to!

 

[xo777]

If you decide to stay that's okay but I understand how much pain life causes so if you do go ahead with it I hope you have a safe journey and find the peace you deserve

 

[downndone2]

You sound cool and hopefully quitting your stressful job and finding something else will help you. I was glad to see you are still here. Whatever you decide in the future, I wish you the best