Attempitng with SN on Wednesday, wish me luck!

[lovemelovemenot]

My original date wasn't supposed to be until sometime in May, but I decided to move it forward because of some recent events pushing me off the edge. I'm tired of feeling like shit every day. Tired of hating myself. Tired of wishing things were different. I know this pain will never end, and I'm ready to leave this place. There's a huge park near my house, it's over 1,000 acres with lots of hiking trails and dense forest. I'm going to find a spot somwhere off a trail and attempt there.

I only have SN and an antacid, couldn't find an antiemetic in time. I'm a bit worried about throwing up, but I'll have a second cup prepared incase that happens. If all fails...well I guess I'll be back here.

Gonna be spending these next two days getting some last minute things in order. Cleaning out my room, writing my note onto paper(I have it typed up), taking funds out my bank account to leave to my sibling. Do you guys think it would be better to leave the note somewhere in my room for them to find? Or having it on me? I thought about a delayed email, but I honestly don't think anyone in my family checks their emails enough and I would perfer for them to read it sooner than later.

Anyways, I'll bump this thread for a final goodbye on the day of. I appreciate this place for giving me somewhere to vent, somewhere to feel normal, somewhere I can learn to acheive my peace in a way that suits me. I think I'm finally starting to feel okay...knowing it will all be over soon. Love to you all

 

[Ulisses]

I wish you luck in what you choose. let your ctb be peaceful

 

[Taran]

My original date wasn't supposed to be until sometime in May, but I decided to move it forward because of some recent events pushing me off the edge. I'm tired of feeling like shit every day. Tired of hating myself. Tired of wishing things were different. I know this pain will never end, and I'm ready to leave this place. There's a huge park near my house, it's over 1,000 acres with lots of hiking trails and dense forest. I'm going to find a spot somwhere off a trail and attempt there.

I only have SN and an antacid, couldn't find an antiemetic in time. I'm a bit worried about throwing up, but I'll have a second cup prepared incase that happens. If all fails...well I guess I'll be back here.

Gonna be spending these next two days getting some last minuet things in order. Cleaning out my room, writing my note onto paper(I have it typed up), taking funds out my bank account to leave to my sibling. Do you guys think it would be better to leave the note somewhere in my room for them to find? Or having it on me? I thought about a delayed email, but I honestly don't think anyone in my family checks their emails enough and I would perfer for them to read it sooner than later.

Anyways, I'll bump this thread for a final goodbye on the day of. I appreciate this place for giving me somewhere to vent, somewhere to feel normal, somewhere I can learn to acheive my peace in a way that suits me. I think I'm finally starting to feel okay...knowing it will all be over soon. Love to you all

All the best brother Power to you

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Im so sorry life was this hard on you, ill burn a little candle for you, may its light guide you

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

I wish you a peaceful journey. In the woods sounds nice. Hide the letter in your room. Good enough that you give yourself enough time.

 

[Quarky00]

I'm always sad to see members go. Sad to see you hate yourself. I hope you'll find peace and calm in the woods. Please try and make your last day as best as you can , I hope it will be about yourself (some self indulgence? Idk) I wouldn't worry about vomiting , it's still fatal , but I hope you won't experience any inconvenience

Regarding the note , if the police comes first they'll take the note. If family comes first they'll read the note but must hand it over to the police. That may be a problem. But I don't wish to burden you . Peace and hugs

 

[Pale Blue Dot]

I feel sorry that your life was so tough. Live your last moment doing your favorite things, relaxing...
Hope you can stop this pain quickly, hope your ctb goes well.
Maybe you can send the letter through the post office. It would take like two or three days I guess, depend on where you live tho.

 

[aukguy]

Mate, all the best whatever you choose. You are brave and awesome

 

[Anxietykillsme]

Hope you find peace.

 

[lovemelovemenot]

I'm always sad to see members go. Sad to see you hate yourself. I hope you'll find peace and calm in the woods. Please try and make your last day as best as you can , I hope it will be about yourself (some self indulgence? Idk) I wouldn't worry about vomiting , it's still fatal , but I hope you won't experience any inconvenience

Regarding the note , if the police comes first they'll take the note. If family comes first they'll read the note but must hand it over to the police. That may be a problem. But I don't wish to burden you . Peace and hugs

Thank you for the words. Tonight I'll be splurging on some of my favorite foods from a nice resteraunt, so I'll take that as spoiling myself one last time.

About the note, do you think the police will still want to confiscate it if I leave it at my home? I'm not sure if they will want to search my room afterwards or ask my family for it. Sorry if that's already what you meant.

 

[Quarky00]

About the note, do you think the police will still want to confiscate it if I leave it at my home? I'm not sure if they will want to search my room afterwards or ask my family for it. Sorry if that's already what you meant.

That's the thing I'm not sure of. Depends who gets to the note first. Maybe others can help (without complicating). Glad to head about the first part, bon appetite

(* I think they need to hand it over.. )

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

The police have to rule out homicide. The note is evidence. The police take evidence, and they do not always return it when the case is closed because it could theoretically be reopened later if new evidence came to light that indicated it was a homicide.

 

[Nem]

All the best during your tough time
Peace/hugs

 

[disabledandhopeless]

Good luck

 

[one4all]

@lovemelovemenot Maybe good old fashion snail mail would work for you letter to the family. Send it before you depart. It should at least take a day or two before the get it. Good Luck and God Speed

just my 2 cents from the gutter

 

[DownToGo]

Wishing you all the best to find peace. Please keep us updated

 

[lovemelovemenot]

Wishing you all the best to find peace. Please keep us updated ❤

Thank you. I ended up post-poning it until next wednesday actually. There's going to be lots of storms and rain this week so I figured I would just go and rent out a room instead. At least my body will be discovered quickly then. But next week I'll be back and I'll try to give some insight on how it goes in those last few moments. As much as I can at least.

 

[jimbob1000]

hope you find peace