N
noname223
Archangel
- Aug 18, 2020
- 5,172
I am in my mid-twenties. I am texting with a woman from a dating app. I think she likes that I am no fuck boy. In her profile she emphasized no F+ and no ONS.
I am not really interested in that (with her(?)). The irony is: she keeps me at a huge distance. I feel not good with that. I would need a stronger bond between us. Also in case something sexual happened I would like to have a stronger emotional bond between us before something like that happened. But that might be my male brain thinking in advance. It was only our first date maybe this thought is unnecessary. At the same time it is normal wanting to be attracted to someone.
I noticed I really have a stronger need for an emotional bond than sexuality activities per se. I am not sure why. I usually avoid in-depth talks about my sexuality. I have some theories in mind which I won't share it on here but I have shared them with my friends. Maybe it's the medication I am on. Maybe I have a distorted notion of sexual activities.
I am not asexual. And I even considered to go the same route as some lonely men on here paying an escort shortly before my suicide because I would like to know how it feels. At the same time I think I would not be in the mood for that facing my death. I don't know.
There were some members who said that most men at my age are mostly obsessed by sex and the companionship factor is less relevant for them. I think I am a pretty romantic guy. I love David Foster Wallace's love stories. I think this romanticism also influences my stance to ONS and stuff like that.
There were women who I would only consider ONS or F+ material. But only if both completely agree on this relationship and noone wants more. Tbh I think I would want more pretty soon. I assume that. And in some cases this would not be good.
I think it is probably dependent on the individual. Maybe at 30 on average? I don't know. I am just a noname spreading his bullshit in a suicide forum.
I am not really interested in that (with her(?)). The irony is: she keeps me at a huge distance. I feel not good with that. I would need a stronger bond between us. Also in case something sexual happened I would like to have a stronger emotional bond between us before something like that happened. But that might be my male brain thinking in advance. It was only our first date maybe this thought is unnecessary. At the same time it is normal wanting to be attracted to someone.
I noticed I really have a stronger need for an emotional bond than sexuality activities per se. I am not sure why. I usually avoid in-depth talks about my sexuality. I have some theories in mind which I won't share it on here but I have shared them with my friends. Maybe it's the medication I am on. Maybe I have a distorted notion of sexual activities.
I am not asexual. And I even considered to go the same route as some lonely men on here paying an escort shortly before my suicide because I would like to know how it feels. At the same time I think I would not be in the mood for that facing my death. I don't know.
There were some members who said that most men at my age are mostly obsessed by sex and the companionship factor is less relevant for them. I think I am a pretty romantic guy. I love David Foster Wallace's love stories. I think this romanticism also influences my stance to ONS and stuff like that.
There were women who I would only consider ONS or F+ material. But only if both completely agree on this relationship and noone wants more. Tbh I think I would want more pretty soon. I assume that. And in some cases this would not be good.
I think it is probably dependent on the individual. Maybe at 30 on average? I don't know. I am just a noname spreading his bullshit in a suicide forum.
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