At what point does it become socially understandable to 'give up'?

[Toptock]

I ask coming from a religious background and a very tumultuous upbringing. We very much live in a society that prides itself on our ability to "Pull ourselves up" from just about any situation.

Take the story of Leo Grand, the homeless man who went on to develop an app. A fantastic story filled with hope and an inspiration to anyone and everyone who sees his story. But the problem is we also live in a society that's been so active in our study of each other that we seem to generally believe anyone can do these things if they put in a certain amount of effort. The problem with this thinking is it's along the same lines as "You can do whatever you set your mind to," which is, at least from my perspective, generally contradictory to reality. We are told "Why don't you apply yourself..." to any kind of interest with the specific focus of getting ourselves out of what is generally perceived as a 'slump.'

My question is this, we all have our stories, our breaking points, but we can almost all in some form or another find a solution of some kind, at what point can we say "I did what I could, and I don't want to do any more" and not feel guilty that we didn't try something else? I don't think a new job would help, I don't believe my friends care, so why should I try?

 

[BerryCakes]

I wish I could give you an answer, but I can't. There are people out there who'd consider a sex slave stuck in a poor country CTBing as taking the cowardly way out.

I suppose generally people would be more likely to redirect blame elsewhere if you've tried therapy and meds before deciding to commit suicide.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

I think each situation is different and unique.

Yes, there are stories of people succeeding against huge odds, but by definition they're exceptional.
We might see lots of stories of people getting better and succeeding, yet forget that there are many more who don't succeed and who fall under the radar and just disappear. This is called survivorship bias.

However, I do think that it's worth people trying everything possible to get better and to get out of bad situations.
May as well if you have nothing to lose.

You also have to question why society likes and magnifies individuals who 'pull themselves up'.
They are obviously being made into an example to follow, but is this due to altruism and because society cares so much, or is it due to more cynical reasons relating to how group statistics on a whole range of issues impact the economy?

Perhaps this guilt that is felt at 'giving up' is due to societal manipulation which functions to create conveyor belt workers so a rich minority can profit?

 

[Toptock]

Perhaps this guilt that is felt at 'giving up' is due to societal manipulation which functions to create conveyor belt workers so a rich minority can profit?

Same thoughts on theology.

 

[262653]

Saying that one can do anything and setting ppl like Nick Vuichich as an example is like encouraging ppl to gamble on the grounds that some of them might actually win, and attribute their victories to personal qualities like willpower, hard work, determination, commitment etc. (implying that everyone can develop them to an adequate level), instead of probability/luck. Or at least that's how I see it.

it reminds me of nature where the animals are forced to survive at all costs, no matter what. As if the survival of the few justifies the suffering losers had to endure.

 

[AintNoWayOut]

ppl just expect you to take the pain and smile through your struggles despite not being able to relate whatsoever. i bet you that 95% of them would take it back if they spent a week in my shoes though. the issues i deal with seem to be really rare and thus most people cant understand it, or dismiss it as me lying, but if they had to deal with my suffering firsthand, i dont see how anyone could put up with it... the natural response to being in constant pain/discomfort is to want to escape it, aka die. but since they'll never be able to experience it themselves, they expect me to keep dealing with it for another several decades which is NOT happening.

its crazy how people will expect you to keep chugging along and benefiting society through "being productive" (aka working a job like everyone else, just acting as a cog in a machine) and benefiting them/others through your time and presence regardless of how you feel physically and emotionally. it doesnt even cross their minds what our quality of life is like... it wouldnt even matter if we constantly felt the sensation of lava being poured on our organs, they expect us to keep staying alive and suffering in order to appease them and others... yet WE'RE the selfish ones.