Discussion at what point did you feel that your life has collapsed?

[Versailles]

As the title says, when did you feel that your life has collapsed and that there were not many solutions?

 

[motel rooms]

There are always solutions if you don't mind the fact that they all ultimately just breed more problems

 

[Versailles]

There are always solutions if you don't mind the fact that they all ultimately just breed more problems

the irony of winning but losing at the same time

 

[motel rooms]

the irony of winning but losing at the same time

When you think you got what you need
What you'll have is just another hole to feed

 

[AndromedaZ]

I always knew it would end in suicide but I felt like it would be reasonable and justified when I found out i had DID

 

[OnlyTheWind]

When all my attempts to fix myself began to tire me. So exhausted from trying again and again.

 

[Versailles]

I always knew it would end in suicide but I felt like it would be reasonable and justified when I found out i had DID

Do you think the DID is a compelling reason, or is there more?

When all my attempts to fix myself began to tire me. So exhausted from trying again and again.

wow, the same thing happens to me, I guess at some point we get tired of so many attempts, it's worse when you feel like doing it the wrong way

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I think that was when I couldn't get hired by McDonalds or toilet scrubbing firms.

 

[AndromedaZ]

Do you think the DID is a compelling reason, or is there more?

I think it is. I've always been broken but that was my "oof I'm so broken I'll literally never be a whole person" moment

 

[FarAcrossTheWater]

I got hospitalized with patients throwing feces at the wall and threatening to kill me. I knew I'd never have peace again because I sometimes wake up at night screaming. There is only one answer.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Conception!!!
Seriously though... I would say around age 10.

 

[foreverlikethestars]

I really dont remember ever being hopeful for my future; I guess my family life robbed me of this. I want to say somewhere around 10th grade when I lost all of my friends for picking up smoking some weed occasionally was me running out of gas. It's just been stagnation since.

 

[Hurt]

Since I decided that I have to kill myself BUT I tried to see if life got better but it didn't. It is getting worse and I'm feeling more suicidal as days pass.

 

[FuneralCry]

I have never wanted to be alive really. I have been having suicidal thoughts since I was a young teenager, so to answer the question, since then. For a long time I have seen everything as hopeless. I think in my case, the problem is life itself. I dislike everything about living and it is simply the way I am. Life has always been a struggle and things have got worse over the years. So therefore the only solution is death.

 

[chocolatebar]

For something to collapse, it first has to be built...

 

[rosie93]

At 14 yo, 18 yo and 28yo.

 

[Versailles]

I have never wanted to be alive really. I have been having suicidal thoughts since I was a young teenager, so to answer the question, since then. For a long time I have seen everything as hopeless. I think in my case, the problem is life itself. I dislike everything about living and it is simply the way I am. Life has always been a struggle and things have got worse over the years. So therefore the only solution is death.

I thought it was easier to apply to that type of job

I have never wanted to be alive really. I have been having suicidal thoughts since I was a young teenager, so to answer the question, since then. For a long time I have seen everything as hopeless. I think in my case, the problem is life itself. I dislike everything about living and it is simply the way I am. Life has always been a struggle and things have got worse over the years. So therefore the only solution is death.

I must admit that I have read the things you write and I see that we both have the same feeling of detachment from life, damn, if I told anyone in real life they would call me fag without hesitation

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

Probably when my dad died, one week before my 26th b-day. And then at the age of 32 it just hit me again: "I don't belong here so screw it all"….

 

[PinkSakura]

May 23rd 2020 that day was the final straw to everything, first time I ever considered CTB

 

[Iwantedtodieforlong]

As the title says, when did you feel that your life has collapsed and that there were not many solutions?

When i went to high school and had to deal with chronic illness and kid's vaping in class making it worse and the school doing butt fucking nothing about it, endless torture cycle

 

[mold]

for me, probably when i started high school. i always had depression and anxiety but i was a dumb kid and had no idea what i was feeling until it was too late

 

[rosie93]

for me, probably when i started high school. i always had depression and anxiety but i was a dumb kid and had no idea what i was feeling until it was too late

Me too! I mean, I finally realized sth is wrong when I was 16 but my mum said I'm fine and that's about it. I believed her. Well, turns out I wasn't fucking fine.

 

[everydayiloveyou]

When I started looking for my first job. I realized no one except for my family cares about me and things will only be more and more difficult because of my mental illness.

I tried really hard to be nice and not let my social anxiety control me. It was when I started working retail when I realized no one cares about how hard you try, all that matters is that you're different from them and you can't do things the same way as everyone else can. It's been downhill since then, and I'm actually trying really hard to recover and not kill myself too soon but its like society is conspiring against me

 

[Risperdead]

24th February 2009. Forced torture treatment in psychiatry. Experienced original inhuman Nazi shit. Read "Die Welt da drinnen" from Helga Schubert to get an idea of the clinic i became a victim of.

 

[Seiba]

Homeschooling related largely, I think it started kicking in that I was pretty boned at fourteen if things didn't change. Didn't get suicidal until sixteen, however.

 

[Iwantedtodieforlong]

I have never wanted to be alive really. I have been having suicidal thoughts since I was a young teenager, so to answer the question, since then. For a long time I have seen everything as hopeless. I think in my case, the problem is life itself. I dislike everything about living and it is simply the way I am. Life has always been a struggle and things have got worse over the years. So therefore the only solution is death.

Same here bro, people don't seem to understand that

 

[Dear Agony]

When high school started. I was about 15. I started to realize how everyone that bullied me was happy, had friends, were preoccupied about sex and drugs and teenager stuff, had someone with a crush on them, while I had none of that. I wasn't even good at school, otherwise I could at least say I was smart. I had nothing, everyone hated me. Life didn't turn around for me, there was no karma. The people who ruined my life are happy and I'm destined to die by my own hands. But yeah, that's around the time I developed depression from a single thought: it won't get better.

 

[Risperdead]

When high school started. I was about 15. I started to realize how everyone that bullied me was happy, had friends, were preoccupied about sex and drugs and teenager stuff, had someone with a crush on them, while I had none of that. I wasn't even good at school, otherwise I could at least say I was smart. I had nothing, everyone hated me. Life didn't turn around for me, there was no karma. The people who ruined my life are happy and I'm destined to die by my own hands. But yeah, that's around the time I developed depression from a single thought: it won't get better.

sounds bad, send you some hugs, youre welcome. me reading voices from the cosmos and in an Interview the large grays stated "humans are limited". this is true in many ways. think of it. we are not well trusted by ETs for very good reason.

 

[Synclife]

I'd say right the year before high school started was when the downhill spiral started.

 

[enau]

when all my attempt for a decent and meaningfull live failed in trauma.And when there is nothing tattaching me(i dont even want it, want nothing.. dont have desires anymore, dont want to perceive, feel, think ) in this world to bare this suffering and willing to make something from it. i found nothing.. in the abyss, and im loosing my will of struggle, and with it, my mental state decrease quickly.I tried..and there is not much left of me.Im now scared to loose my control, mind,