I just thought of this. It took me until now, at the age of 35 to realize it. Probably because I'm dumb.
But it is just true. How does someone not understand the value of money and saving it until they're 35? How is that even possible? Or not get a diagnosis for ADHD, something I probably inherently knew was there and that there was something wrong with me, until now when I'm this old and have barely any money.
I can't tell you how much I've always spaced out when people talk. It takes me way longer to learn things than everyone else. I constantly forget things. I get up almost impulsively during work. Unless something is an interesting topic, sometimes I have to read something 5 or 6 times before it registers. Even now when I'm on Adderall, today I went inside a gas station and paid for gas and then drove off without filling up my car. It would be funny if I hadn't of done that dozens of times in my life. It's hard for me to ever figure things out to fix or put together, even if I watch someone and really try to pay attention. I'm not saying this as a put down to the kids with autism I've worked with at all, but there were times when they understood some of the reading comprehension stuff before I did. I was really only good at that job with them because I was super patient and could figure out sometimes why they weren't picking up on certain things, probably because I remember why I can't sometimes. And because I love kids and finding things they like to do.
I took a server job on the side to make extra money, and there's literally 8 middle tables in this restaurant that have numbers. And I still have trouble remembering which is which. Nobody else has this issue. It took like 5 or 6 shifts before I got it down, and sometimes I'm honestly still not 100%. The other servers are nice about it but one of the managers gets super annoyed and always tells me it's only 8 tables. I guess I can't blame them, it is true. I mean, when you apply for any job, you basically are telling people that you're a quick learner.
I've read a lot so I come off as smart when I speak and I'm a good public speaker. I'm a solid writer but it takes me a while to write unless my brain is in overdrive on one subject.
I think that is why I'm so happy when I play with kids and dogs. It's simple. And sand volleyball, it's hard in the sense that it can be really competitive which I'm totally cool with because I am very athletic, but it's simple in rules.
Unfortunately, these things get you nowhere in life unless you find a way early on to manage it. I needed to get medication and find a job where I could help people and be on my feet, and learn it through repitition and stick with that career. But I didn't. Because I'm dumb.
I'm physically totally fine and healthy. For most of these last 4 horrible months I thought it was solely money that I have to CTB for. But the even sadder reality is that it's because I am literally a stupid person.
But it is just true. How does someone not understand the value of money and saving it until they're 35? How is that even possible? Or not get a diagnosis for ADHD, something I probably inherently knew was there and that there was something wrong with me, until now when I'm this old and have barely any money.
I can't tell you how much I've always spaced out when people talk. It takes me way longer to learn things than everyone else. I constantly forget things. I get up almost impulsively during work. Unless something is an interesting topic, sometimes I have to read something 5 or 6 times before it registers. Even now when I'm on Adderall, today I went inside a gas station and paid for gas and then drove off without filling up my car. It would be funny if I hadn't of done that dozens of times in my life. It's hard for me to ever figure things out to fix or put together, even if I watch someone and really try to pay attention. I'm not saying this as a put down to the kids with autism I've worked with at all, but there were times when they understood some of the reading comprehension stuff before I did. I was really only good at that job with them because I was super patient and could figure out sometimes why they weren't picking up on certain things, probably because I remember why I can't sometimes. And because I love kids and finding things they like to do.
I took a server job on the side to make extra money, and there's literally 8 middle tables in this restaurant that have numbers. And I still have trouble remembering which is which. Nobody else has this issue. It took like 5 or 6 shifts before I got it down, and sometimes I'm honestly still not 100%. The other servers are nice about it but one of the managers gets super annoyed and always tells me it's only 8 tables. I guess I can't blame them, it is true. I mean, when you apply for any job, you basically are telling people that you're a quick learner.
I've read a lot so I come off as smart when I speak and I'm a good public speaker. I'm a solid writer but it takes me a while to write unless my brain is in overdrive on one subject.
I think that is why I'm so happy when I play with kids and dogs. It's simple. And sand volleyball, it's hard in the sense that it can be really competitive which I'm totally cool with because I am very athletic, but it's simple in rules.
Unfortunately, these things get you nowhere in life unless you find a way early on to manage it. I needed to get medication and find a job where I could help people and be on my feet, and learn it through repitition and stick with that career. But I didn't. Because I'm dumb.
I'm physically totally fine and healthy. For most of these last 4 horrible months I thought it was solely money that I have to CTB for. But the even sadder reality is that it's because I am literally a stupid person.
