Venting At my worst.

[Gon_]

I don't know how to start this off so sorry if it sounds choppy and messy, I'm relatively low iq and have trouble coming up with sentences but mask it by using big words. I feel like I have finally hit the lowest point in my life, I've been a NEET for around 6 months (since I graduated from my highschool) I'm 18 years old, stay inside all day and just rot and play video games but at this point the games don't even help me cope anymore. I'm sick of everything I just want something to change I'm so tired. I feel like I genuinely have no purpose and never will have one. Ever since I was a child I was quiet and secluded which caused me to become asocial and it was further enhanced during covid where I didn't have to go out at all and could just sit at home and do nothing and talk to no one. further more I discovered blackpill around 2 years ago and ever since then I've just been at my lowest. I just hate how I look, I hate waking up, I hate having to talk to people, I hate not having a purpose, I hate that I hate everything. Worst of all I know I don't have it as bad as other people so I feel like I don't even deserve to feel this way and should just man up and keep going but that won't help would it. I'm sorry for this ramble I have no one else to vent to. I'm not going to read this over so I might not even be coherent I apologize

 

[DTA]

I spent decades trying to find my purpose. I became suicidal when I finally realized I didn't have one. I realized that all our lives are completely pointless, and it was really depressing! I've tried to kill myself 5 times!
But then I looked at it a different way. All our lives are pointless! They're OURS to do with as we wish! Instead of searching for a fated purpose, find what you love and pursue that no matter what others say. You'll find your own purpose. That purpose won't mean anything to the grand scheme of things, but the grand scheme is pointless! Your own little purpose matters to YOU and therefore is more meaningful than anything else in the world.