As ready as I'll ever be

[fettuccinee]

I have everything set up and I'm ready to ctb, I overcame SI already and I'm just so ready.

I'm so tired of being sexually abused I just have to go.

If I fail I'll be back as soon as I can..

 

[Jean4]

I understand and am sorry it has come to this. Do you want to talk about anything before you go?

 

[fettuccinee]

I understand and am sorry it has come to this. Do you want to talk about anything before you go?

I just want to feel like I have friends before I go for once

 

[trynacbt]

I wish you peace and I hope all goes well. We are here with you.

 

[Jean4]

I just want to feel like I have friends before I go for once

I am not trying to stop you. I have never had any friends. I have developed some here.

This board has opened up a whole new world for me. People who you can talk to and understand.

I have been here a little longer than you. Maybe give the board a chance?

I understand what it was like to be sexually abused. I was molested by my brother when I was 5. He gave me Herpes. Despite that, she took his side. I will have Herpes forever.
i do understand.

 

[fettuccinee]

I am not trying to stop you. I have never had any friends. I have developed some here.

This board has opened up a whole new world for me. People who you can talk to and understand.

I have been here a little longer than you. Maybe give the board a chance?

I understand what it was like to be sexually abused. I was molested by my brother when I was 5. He gave me Herpes. Despite that, she took his side. I will have Herpes forever.
i do understand.

I dunno.. I try making friends but I'm so antisocial and awkward.
Yeah, I'm sorry to hear about all that. My stepfather is the one I'm afraid of..

 

[clownangel]

I dunno.. I try making friends but I'm so antisocial and awkward.

Came here to offer well wishes & almost clicked the back button because I'm also antisocial and fairly awkward (I'm sure there's more than a few of us that feel similar socially on here) and didn't want to freak out a stranger.

I'm sorry y'all are dealing with this. (Sexual abuse definitely plays a part in my reasoning to ctb and I wouldn't wish that shit on anyone.) For sure echoing what @Jean4 has said already, too. Anyways, I hope your suffering eases up - however that may be, and with any luck that you can find some comfort here as well. (Sorry for rambling!)

 

[Jean4]

I dunno.. I try making friends but I'm so antisocial and awkward.
Yeah, I'm sorry to hear about all that. My stepfather is the one I'm afraid of..

If we had friends and a normal life, we wouldn't want to CTB now would we? ;)

For the first time and place, people understand and don't judge.

I don't leave my apartment. I don't get out of bed. This forum gives me something to do and I actually talk to others.... like how I am talking to you.

 

[fettuccinee]

If we had friends and a normal life, we wouldn't want to CTB now would we? ;)

For the first time and place, people understand and don't judge.

I don't leave my apartment. I don't get out of bed. This forum gives me something to do and I actually talk to others.... like how I am talking to you.

idk what i want to do..now im unsure

 

[Jean4]

idk what i want to do..now im unsure

If you aren't sure, you aren't ready. Don't do anything rash.

Nothing wrong with changing ones mind. I OD'd spur of the moment.

I'm now back. I now have a cat and this forum and people like you who I am talking to. Because of that, I have made it through another day.

 

[fettuccinee]

If you aren't sure, you aren't ready. Don't do anything rash.

Nothing wrong with changing ones mind. I OD'd spur of the moment.

I'm now back. I now have a cat and this forum and people like you who I am talking to. Because of that, I have made it through another day.

ur right..

 

[Jean4]

ur right..

We have all been there and it's ok to change your mind. :)

 

[Return2Dust]

Sexual abuse is not ok. You don't deserve it. Can you get away from the abuse? My mother told me I wanted it. Then she told me it never happened. Growing up, I knew it was her job to protect me and she failed. Sexual abuse changed me as a person. I learned not to trust anyone. It's one of the reasons for my social anxiety.
I hate going out in public. I prefer laying right here in my bed. I go outside to walk my dogs and buy coffee or pickup groceries from my online order.
It's ok to have a ctb plan, but you don't have to act on it until you're absolutely sure you want to do it.