Arrested in my own home, treated like a criminal. Suicide my only option

[ScaredToLive]

I was awoken to 6 police officers at my door, because I take kratom for my anxiety. They turned over my whole house, denied me my anxiety medication, locked me up for 3 hours with no calls to family or solicitors.

I thought Kratom was legal here? They took my CBD weed?!. Now I have a criminal record apparently? I was actually in a really good mental spot, not suicidal at all, and looking forward to the future. I'm traumatized by it, I had PTSD anyway. I can't beleive this has happened. I have zero on my record, I've never even been caught for speeding? How is this even allowed.

I'm done I just want to die, this world is completely cruel. I don't hurt anyone, I take kratom because it kept me sane when I was looking after my mum who had dementia. They beat me, that's fine. I lost. I'm happy to die now. I kept my mum at her house and happt for 2 years and it was worth it. They have won. I'll be committing this week. Bridge or SN.

 

[sharky]

So sorry that this happened to you
I thought Kratom is legal in most countries. Where are you from? Police are bastards and so are most people.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds so horrible what you went through, I'm sorry that you had to endure that. It really is such an awful world that we live in. I know that this life can be unbearable when you are suffering so much. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[Nightmare Painting]

Kratom is in a legal grey area from what I remember when I was researching a couple of years ago and I highly doubt you can be prosecuted for it. It likely depends on your state but if I were you I'd take a step back and talk to a lawyer to see if there are any real consequences for owning it before committing to ending it all.

 

[ScaredToLive]

So sorry that this happened to you
I thought Kratom is legal in most countries. Where are you from? Police are bastards and so are most people.

Same here?! It even says on the site I get it from "100% legal in the UK". To send 6 officers to raid my house? It's completely insane. I have no criminal record. I have never been in prison or even had a speeding ticket. It was fucking horrendous being locked in the cell

Kratom is in a legal grey area from what I remember when I was researching a couple of years ago and I highly doubt you can be prosecuted for it. It likely depends on your state but if I were you I'd take a step back and talk to a lawyer to see if there are any real consequences for owning it before committing to ending it all.

Yeah it's not worded anywhere in our laws, I buy from a clear net site. If they had wrote to me and asked me to come for an interview, I definitely would have, to treat me that was completely insane. I'm not a dealer, I'm not a criminal. I take it to ease me anxiety, I don't even drink

That sounds so horrible what you went through, I'm sorry that you had to endure that. It really is such an awful world that we live in. I know that this life can be unbearable when you are suffering so much. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

Thank you. I can't believe it. I was actually the most positive I've ever been, it was awful. Locked in some horrible cell, with no one to talk to, treated like some actual criminal. I don't know why they would want to ruin my life, I'm not a bad guy, I visit my mum in the care home three times a week, and I live a quiet life. Thank you for saying that. It's proof to me that no matter what I do, they will always find a way to bring me down. I'm fighting a losing battle, the state always wins

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

I can find news articles going back two years that all say:

Currently, it is illegal to manufacture, sell, or possess this plant. Getting caught with kratom buds can have serious repercussions.

So it's been illegal for quite some time.
And from Wikipedia--

 

[Huntfish34]

Damnt,. That is some Seriously Fucked off shit. Get a lawyer if possible please,. Will be worth it in the long run I believe. Sorry you were subjected to this dumbass bullshit.

Thoughts and prayers to you -

 

[Al_stargate]

Sorry about what happened to you. How did they even find out? Anyway, it's not the end, you can pick yourself up and get to your previous mental state. Just give it some time to process.

 

[Judy Garland]

I was awoken to 6 police officers at my door, because I take kratom for my anxiety. They turned over my whole house, denied me my anxiety medication, locked me up for 3 hours with no calls to family or solicitors.

I thought Kratom was legal here? They took my CBD weed?!. Now I have a criminal record apparently? I was actually in a really good mental spot, not suicidal at all, and looking forward to the future. I'm traumatized by it, I had PTSD anyway. I can't beleive this has happened. I have zero on my record, I've never even been caught for speeding? How is this even allowed.

I'm done I just want to die, this world is completely cruel. I don't hurt anyone, I take kratom because it kept me sane when I was looking after my mum who had dementia. They beat me, that's fine. I lost. I'm happy to die now. I kept my mum at her house and happt for 2 years and it was worth it. They have won. I'll be committing this week. Bridge or SN.

I'm so sorry this has happened. I take Kratom too, 1.5 grams every 4 hours. It lifts my head up just a little bit to survive. I admire you taking care of your mother. I took care of my Grandmother for 3 years who also had dementia and at times I was very abusive. I feel horrible and the only solace I get is remembering that every 10 minutes I kissed and hugged her and told her I loved her. I made a lot of mistakes, that I wish I could take back. I'm glad you and your mother had peace. I know its not easy. Concerning the police with your situation, why did they come to your home in the first place? Did they find your Kratom and confiscate it? I don't know what I would do if someone threw out my Kratom, I'd just walk right into the woods and ctb. I really hate this world, more than you can imagine.

 

[ScaredToLive]

I'm so sorry this has happened. I take Kratom too, 1.5 grams every 4 hours. It lifts my head up just a little bit to survive. I admire you taking care of your mother. I took care of my Grandmother for 3 years who also had dementia and at times I was very abusive. I feel horrible and the only solace I get is remembering that every 10 minutes I kissed and hugged her and told her I loved her. I made a lot of mistakes, that I wish I could take back. I'm glad you and your mother had peace. I know its not easy. Concerning the police with your situation, why did they come to your home in the first place? Did they find your Kratom and confiscate it? I don't know what I would do if someone threw out my Kratom, I'd just walk right into the woods and ctb. I really hate this world, more than you can imagine.

Yeah it really helped me with anxiety particularly during lockdown, when I had no help with my mum and couldn't leave the house. I see it as a supplement essentially. It seems an order of mine got stopped a YEAR ago. Instead of writing to me, they bust in my house like I'm Pablo Escobar, it's insane. They took it all yeah, and charged me with importing it.

Don't beat yourself up about the mistakes , it's extremely hard to look after people with dementia, it takes a piece of your soul every single day, and you shouldn't feel bad for any mistakes you made, you really shouldn't. It's the hardest thing in the entire world.

I just feel extremely sad at the minute, I was really starting to turn my life around, I just don't understand why they would bother doing this. I'm not a threat to anyone. I have never even seen the inside of a police station prior to this. I've phoned them to come and help people in my area who I was worried about. There is no point being a good person in this life. Boris Johnson can break Covid rules with nothing happening, he's on record arranging for a person to be beaten up. I can't sit in my own house and take a supplement to help me look after my mum, what's the point.

I'm so down hearted, it's broken me. I was getting better, I was positive. A drugs charge will preclude me from the career I wanted. It's over. My suicide note will name the police as the direct cause of my death
Sorry for spamming the thread guys I'm feeling very alone and sad. I'm devastated. I feel scared in my own house now, I'm planning on dying next week. I have quite a popular Tik Tok so I will be posting a video there and I'll be blaming the police directly for it.

 

[Judy Garland]

Yeah it really helped me with anxiety particularly during lockdown, when I had no help with my mum and couldn't leave the house. I see it as a supplement essentially. It seems an order of mine got stopped a YEAR ago. Instead of writing to me, they bust in my house like I'm Pablo Escobar, it's insane. They took it all yeah, and charged me with importing it.

Don't beat yourself up about the mistakes , it's extremely hard to look after people with dementia, it takes a piece of your soul every single day, and you shouldn't feel bad for any mistakes you made, you really shouldn't. It's the hardest thing in the entire world.

I just feel extremely sad at the minute, I was really starting to turn my life around, I just don't understand why they would bother doing this. I'm not a threat to anyone. I have never even seen the inside of a police station prior to this. I've phoned them to come and help people in my area who I was worried about. There is no point being a good person in this life. Boris Johnson can break Covid rules with nothing happening, he's on record arranging for a person to be beaten up. I can't sit in my own house and take a supplement to help me look after my mum, what's the point.

I'm so down hearted, it's broken me. I was getting better, I was positive. A drugs charge will preclude me from the career I wanted. It's over. My suicide note will name the police as the direct cause of my death
Sorry for spamming the thread guys I'm feeling very alone and sad. I'm devastated. I feel scared in my own house now, I'm planning on dying next week. I have quite a popular Tik Tok so I will be posting a video there and I'll be blaming the police directly for it.

Thank you for your kind words. They mean a lot. The people in this world take away EVERYTHING that lifts our heads, makes us feel good. EVERYTHING. Back in the 1920s when prohibition was in the United States, the rise of underground crime had risen proving that prohibition didn't work. I'm so sick of politicians and other people telling us what we can use and ingest with our own bodies. I'm sick of them not allowing us to choose when we leave this place. This world is a prison, make no mistake we are all inmates. And while we're here we either have to work or go homeless and suffer. And work won't pay enough so we scrimp by living paycheck to paycheck barely able to afford food. Nothing has changed in thousands of years, the world has remained the same. The only thing that is different is technology. I'm sure you felt very violated when the police just burst in. How horrific and scary for you and your mom. We're here for you whatever you choose to do. You have support.

 

[NeverReallyHere]

The police - at last once they get to a certain level in the hierarchy - have no interest in helping or protecting anyone. They're mainly concerned with boosting whatever numbers the bureaucracy they work for considers important. A harmless student who's bought some kratom is just low-hanging fruit for them and much easier than going out and busting a crack-house or something. Have they charged you yet, and have you been in court? If not, don't lose hope quite yet: contact a solicitor straight away. The fact that they denied you one when they arrested you sounds pretty sketchy.

 

[_Seeking]

This is so terrifying and wrong to have happened to you. They need to go after the people that are hurting others and leave people who are doing recreational amounts of drugs alone. You aren't hurting anyone. It sounds like you need a lawyer, I have never heard of someone being prosecuted for ordering Kratom.

 

[Superdeterminist]

Sorry you have to deal with their stupid bullshit. Also sorry you have to play their stupid little game on their terms in order to fight against the charges they put on you. It's appalling.

 

[ScaredToLive]

Thanks for the kind words everyone, I'm set in what I'm going to do. I feel very unsafe, and as people here with PTSD will attest, events like that trigger all sorts of responses. I don't feel remotely safe anymore. I have decided I will kill myself and lay the blame at their door. They know I needed Kratom to make it through the day, they have traumatized me when they simply could have written me a letter an I voluntarily would have gone to the station, I don't believe raiding my house was in any way necessary.

I really was doing much much better, I had my ADHD meds (I missed my delivery because they had me locked up) and kratom and I was trying to find work. They've ruined it all. It's all fucked. It's a really sad world we live in, I don't believe myself to be a bad person, I've never hurt anyone and I never would.

I see the pandemic ended and they went right back to the set of pricks they've always been. I'm on their system as a vulnerable person due to many suicide attempts. It's really quite insane what has happened to me. They'll be shown up when my suicide letter makes the news that's for fucking sure

 

[NeverReallyHere]

Thanks for the kind words everyone, I'm set in what I'm going to do. I feel very unsafe, and as people here with PTSD will attest, events like that trigger all sorts of responses. I don't feel remotely safe anymore. I have decided I will kill myself and lay the blame at their door. They know I needed Kratom to make it through the day, they have traumatized me when they simply could have written me a letter an I voluntarily would have gone to the station, I don't believe raiding my house was in any way necessary.

I really was doing much much better, I had my ADHD meds (I missed my delivery because they had me locked up) and kratom and I was trying to find work. They've ruined it all. It's all fucked. It's a really sad world we live in, I don't believe myself to be a bad person, I've never hurt anyone and I never would.

I see the pandemic ended and they went right back to the set of pricks they've always been. I'm on their system as a vulnerable person due to many suicide attempts. It's really quite insane what has happened to me. They'll be shown up when my suicide letter makes the news that's for fucking sure

Vulnerable people who fall foul of the system commit suicide all the time, and it doesn't stop things like this from happening: the individual officers concerned, assuming they even get to hear about your death, will probably rationalise away their role in it - the system is designed to enable people to do that. I don't wish to sound like I'm being difficult or minimising your pain, but if your sole aim in taking your own life is to stick it to the police who arrested you, you should consider whether that's a good enough reason. One of the horrible ironies of suicide is that the ones who most deserve the pain are generally the ones who care the least.

 

[ScaredToLive]

Vulnerable people who fall foul of the system commit suicide all the time, and it doesn't stop things like this from happening: the individual officers concerned, assuming they even get to hear about your death, will probably rationalise away their role in it - the system is designed to enable people to do that. I don't wish to sound like I'm being difficult or minimising your pain, but if your sole aim in taking your own life is to stick it to the police who arrested you, you should consider whether that's a good enough reason. One of the horrible ironies of suicide is that the ones who most deserve the pain are generally the ones who care the least.

I agree sadly, and don't worry you're not minimizing it at all, I agree with what you say. It's very sad that it is the way it is, but this is the society they have built. I even said to them "you're ruining my life over this, I literally go to work, and look after my mum, and my dog" and was met with "well it's illegal". They simply don't give a fuck about you. I was denied my prescription medication. You're right it's really sad that it's the good people that get hurt. I truly despise this world. I can't see how what they did to me is even remotely justified. As I said to them at the time, I have ZERO criminal record, I have never done anything to be arrested for. Yet I was treated like the scum of the earth.

 

[Tristan]

im so sorry for that, did they had a warrant? People need to realise what makes us better instead of confiscating things, You sure a friend didnt rat you off to the cops?

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

my prescription medication.

What meds did they withhold? :(

 

[ScaredToLive]

What meds did they withhold? :(

My diazepam. That I'm prescribed and I even asked them to ring my doctor: I said I can't give an interview having an anxiety attack. Made no difference to them. It's fucked

im so sorry for that, did they had a warrant? People need to realise what makes us better instead of confiscating things, You sure a friend didnt rat you off to the cops?

No warrant, according to a solicitor here in the UK you can consent to a search ( I did) or if you decline they search you anyway and arrest you. It's so messed up. I had considered it yes but now a massively worthwhile 17 pounds worth of kratom was seized a year ago. And instead of writing to me, via customs this is the route they chose. Incredible really

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

Six cops for some kratom and CBD. I'm sure they pulled that nonsense to avoid doing actual police work. Like all of a sudden the UK has a shortage of crime so someone posessing kratom shoots to the top of the list of things to do. Clowns.

 

[dudeitsdarren]

Are yo

Yeah it really helped me with anxiety particularly during lockdown, when I had no help with my mum and couldn't leave the house. I see it as a supplement essentially. It seems an order of mine got stopped a YEAR ago. Instead of writing to me, they bust in my house like I'm Pablo Escobar, it's insane. They took it all yeah, and charged me with importing it.

Don't beat yourself up about the mistakes , it's extremely hard to look after people with dementia, it takes a piece of your soul every single day, and you shouldn't feel bad for any mistakes you made, you really shouldn't. It's the hardest thing in the entire world.

I just feel extremely sad at the minute, I was really starting to turn my life around, I just don't understand why they would bother doing this. I'm not a threat to anyone. I have never even seen the inside of a police station prior to this. I've phoned them to come and help people in my area who I was worried about. There is no point being a good person in this life. Boris Johnson can break Covid rules with nothing happening, he's on record arranging for a person to be beaten up. I can't sit in my own house and take a supplement to help me look after my mum, what's the point.

I'm so down hearted, it's broken me. I was getting better, I was positive. A drugs charge will preclude me from the career I wanted. It's over. My suicide note will name the police as the direct cause of my death
Sorry for spamming the thread guys I'm feeling very alone and sad. I'm devastated. I feel scared in my own house now, I'm planning on dying next week. I have quite a popular Tik Tok so I will be posting a video there and I'll be blaming the police directly

Are you going through withdrawals

 

[SethJay]

I'm so sorry for what you went through. This world can in fact be very cruel. Especially government agencies and some of their nonsense laws, in regards to criminalization of drug possession, as well as suicide attempts. All I can say at this time is that I wholeheartedly understand and feel your pain and frustration.

 

[downndone2]

I'm really sorry you had this experience. Kratom is legal in A LOT of places, more so than not. And was it CBD flower? That is also very legal in most places as well. I would fight the charges if they actually pursue them. I hope these bullies that raided your home dont drive you to ctb

 

[ornitier199]

I'm done I just want to die, this world is completely cruel.

Absolutely. I can't stand it when they do shit like this. Then go home at the end of their day feeling high and mighty; not a care of the damage and pain done to.

 

[Midian]

Rather than taking your own life which isn't going to achieve much wouldn't it be better to go to court? That way you or your solicitor will be able to air your grievances about your treatment by the police officers including withholding your prescription meds.
I'm not saying you'll get off scot free (although you might) but at least the officers concerned will have to explain their over the top actions. I suspect you'll just get a caution and you'll be able to catty on visiting your mum.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

 

[ornitier199]

Rather than taking your own life which isn't going to achieve much

It won't? Not even peace, solace? "Heed it not, rend illusion."

 

[ScaredToLive]

They'll fuck me in court I am not wealthy

 

[RetroChaos]

I've been through it myself similarly. I was awoken by banging on my parents door one morning because of suspicious internet activity. I was groomed online and shown fucked up shit. They arrested me because I said I had seen 'it' online. They did me on the cache of my backups (I would take whole image snapshots) and the fact I had some drawn stuff. I had Skype and Kik conversions where they could see I was being abused but they didn't care, all they cared about was the fact I technically 'had' it. I didn't go to prison or anything but I'm constantly monitored now like some pedo even though I only got a community order. All th pigs care about is picking easy targets on the weak to get their numbers up and advance their career. The courts are much better, my judge was sympathetic. Police are cunts.

They'll fuck me in court I am not wealthy

You'll get legal aid and treated the same, don't worry. I was 18 at the time I was arrested so I had 0 income.

 

[ScaredToLive]

I've been through it myself similarly. I was awoken by banging on my parents door one morning because of suspicious internet activity. I was groomed online and shown fucked up shit. They arrested me because I said I had seen 'it' online. They did me on the cache of my backups (I would take whole image snapshots) and the fact I had some drawn stuff. I had Skype and Kik conversions where they could see I was being abused but they didn't care, all they cared about was the fact I technically 'had' it. I didn't go to prison or anything but I'm constantly monitored now like some pedo even though I only got a community order. All th pigs care about is picking easy targets on the weak to get their numbers up and advance their career. The courts are much better, my judge was sympathetic. Police are cunts.

You'll get legal aid and treated the same, don't worry. I was 18 at the time I was arrested so I had 0 income.

God that sounds frightening, they are absolutely insane, it seems as soon as the pandemic wore off it was back to being the gestapo lite. I have no criminal background I'm in their database as a "vulnerable" person, of course their idea of how to treat that kind of person is to imprison them. You basically realize that you are nothing in this world. Unless you are very wealthy they can decide to upend your life any time they like. Of course they will tweet "mental health matters" and then return to their WhatsApp groups where they casually discuss racist and sexist ideology (MET police) here