Aren't high school teachers idiots?

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

Or maybe just teachers in general
I was reflecting on the crap I have been dealt with by some of my teachers
For the most part, My teachers have been pretty nice. My art and history teachers especially were cool and kind
Although some were meh
I remember I wrote a piece of poem about marriage. I dunno why, but I based on my parents broken marriage. I showed it to a teacher I thought I got along with (my school ws small so everyone knew everyone) and she laughed and said "if I read thta I woudlnt want to get married"

Jeez what a bitch

Anyways I remember bringing the sam poem to another teacher who basically ally said the same thing, but gave constructive criticisms on what a marriage should be like. Since e had no concept of health thanks to my mind being permanently destroyed thanks to abusive parents, I didnt get any of it

Then again, this was the same teacher who when I opened up to him about how my mom abused me, he mentioned that his parents treated him the same way so he felt it wasn't abuse.

Ugh

 

[person123]

I showed it to a teacher I thought I got along with (my school ws small so everyone knew everyone) and she laughed and said "if I read thta I woudlnt want to get married"

Looks like a normal joke.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

People in general just aren't great at dealing with this kind of stuff so it's no surprise that most of what they put out about it is unhelpful or upsetting.

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

People in general just aren't great at dealing with this kind of stuff so it's no surprise that most of what they put out about it is unhelpful or upsetting.

Thanks for the reply. yeah that is true. Its funny. As kids relook to adults for everything. As children we crave and need guidance to survive. But most of the time, adults don't know what to do and then we're left to fend for ourselves

Anyways you gave me some perspective

 

[faust]

When you finish high school (if not finished), you may meet some more ignorant creatures called managers.
I don't know why but some people who don't want to improve their skills or have no goals in life go to management.
This is totally disturbing because good management means everything and if management is poor, all the shit starts.
I had good managers and bad managers, so I do not state than all managers are idiots.
But let me give you some examples.
1) When managers ask you to do anything for 1-2 hours when all the thing is done for 8-10 hours. That's totally crazy. Don't they fucking see it is a huge amount of work? The answer is simple, they have never done this before and have no understanding how it is done.
2) When managers ask you to do what you have already done when there is a good amount of other work. The answer is simple as previous, the manager did not bother to see you doing that and focuses on bullshit rather than focusing on important tasks. Of course, they will claim this is more important and this is you who does not know how to prioritize tasks.
3) Taking the work which cannot be done. Employees say this cannot be done because of lack of... But manager tells I am the boss here and I know better. Ultimately nothing is done and client does not want to deal with you anymore, does not pay for the job - no profit for the company, only wasted time.
4) No things to talk about. Well, that is a very bad thing. You can always talk to a bus driver, security guy, sales assistant, but there are managers who do not care about broadening their minds. They know absolutely nothing about this world, maximum what they have done in college, their vocabulary is a disaster. A good manager is always developing their skills, their knowledge. Looking at some you are thinking how they managed to graduate from school. What this kind of manager can teach employees?
5) My favorite. Managers who do nothing. Not just literally, but nothing. They require from you a lot, meanwhile they are sitting in their office and scrolling social networks. Poor delivery management, always something is missing, takes a while after employees say something has to be done. Always reminding facts employees know with the face like we never fucking heard about this thing. When tired of idleness in the office, welcoming customers with no signs of smile. Employees have to do everything themselves and later criticized they did something wrong.

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

I skimmed through quickly admittedly. That being said I am no longer in high school and will be starting my senior year of college in September, assuming I stay a live that is. Ugh.

Anyways, I have dealt with my fair share of crap in college too. Seeing as to how most organizations don't care about the people. For example, I reported sexual harassment at my college and spoke to various people but nothing came out of it. I didn't want to deal with any more crap in taking it further. Also being that my abusive mom was still looming in my life at the time (she's since past)

I have worked with nice people doing volunteer work/jobs and also some not so nice ones. And seeing how when someone knows the right people they can get away with a lot of illegal crap while victims suffer. Its a sad world

 

[faust]

@DeathIsTheWayOut99 I used to know one person who was sexually harassing first but then started raping. Another person told me the story, she saw him raping another girl exactly in this place a while ago. No rapes were reported, like nothing happened. He went to prison because of a robbery and a few years later he fell at work and died. Those who knew this story exhaled with relief, justice found him.

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

@DeathIsTheWayOut99 I used to know one person who was sexually harassing first but then started raping. Another person told me the story, she saw him raping another girl exactly in this place a while ago. No rapes were reported, like nothing happened. He went to prison because of a robbery and a few years later he fell at work and died. Those who knew this story exhaled with relief, justice found him.

Sounds like it. Sexual abuse is, in my opinion, the most horrendous thing anyone can do. It creates trauma for life. I hope he is suffering for his sins in some place beyond this universe

 

[Starcitty]

Ever had someone who was always nice to you or never really mean to you, then one day they do or something really nasty to you out of nowhere? It's different than when someone who's never nice to you to begin with says something mean.

I've had that happen to me many times in my life. It's one of the worse feelings I've ever experienced wow I can't even describe it. (Happened twice with two Highschool teachers)

 

[Deleted member 19276]

Teachers can be the worst. When I was in High School, I had to go on an individual education program from my second year there and so on.
Couldn't handle the bullying and abuse.
One teacher, who was pissed off that she had to work an additional hour or additional class with just me (even though she was getting payed for it more) kept telling me that my situation is a "lie" and that I should get back into my ex class with all the nasty bullies. Basically saying that my illness or depressive episodes are "nothing" and that she knew some kid that were in a hospital bed and couldn't get up and that the said kid has a reason to go on such a program while I "do not".
Stuff like that that just boils my blood thinking about it even now.

So what, she said that over a poem you could relate to? Jesus. B word indeed.
Marriage can be a whole different topic as well...
But the teachers thing, seeing their abusive behaviour spill even into college... If a person is against schools, they will make you hate the college and universities even more.

 

[autumnal]

I remember I wrote a piece of poem about marriage. I dunno why, but I based on my parents broken marriage. I showed it to a teacher I thought I got along with (my school ws small so everyone knew everyone) and she laughed and said "if I read thta I woudlnt want to get married"

Looks like a normal joke.

Exactly this. And also sounds like a compliment on the accuracy of your depiction of marriage. It also suggests that teacher, who you state you got along well with, trusted your maturity enough to make that kind of cynical, 'adult' joke and knew you would understand it in context. Alas it seems perhaps not.

 

[Living sucks]

I'm sorry @DeathIsTheWayOut99 that you wrote about something that hurt you to the core of your being trying to express yourself and unfortunately received cynical remarks when the one thing you wanted most in life was to have your parents together and be a normal family.
and i apologize for the 2 people in your thread that still managed to dismiss your feelings (again like the teacher did) and make you feel like you had no reason to feel hurt. They are wrong!

 

[autumnal]

I'm sorry @DeathIsTheWayOut99 that you wrote about something that hurt you to the core of your being trying to express yourself and unfortunately received cynical remarks when the one thing you wanted most in life was to have your parents together and be a normal family.
and i apologize for the 2 people in your thread that still managed to dismiss your feelings (again like the teacher did) and make you feel like you had no reason to feel hurt. They are wrong!

I'm not dismissing their feelings, I'm questioning their (mis)interpretation of the teacher's intent. If their interpretation were correct, then their feelings are obviously completely understandable. But if not, they are way off the mark, and getting themselves down over a misunderstanding. Not sure how recently this incident occurred, but they are also potentially cutting off a positive source of support and authority in their life.

None of us know for sure which is the case, but based solely on the way the OP described things, I do believe our explanations sound more probable than theirs. And thus I was just giving this perspective to the OP for their consideration of a less pessimistic scenario.

 

[Epsilon0]

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

Teachers can be the worst. When I was in High School, I had to go on an individual education program from my second year there and so on.
Couldn't handle the bullying and abuse.
One teacher, who was pissed off that she had to work an additional hour or additional class with just me (even though she was getting payed for it more) kept telling me that my situation is a "lie" and that I should get back into my ex class with all the nasty bullies. Basically saying that my illness or depressive episodes are "nothing" and that she knew some kid that were in a hospital bed and couldn't get up and that the said kid has a reason to go on such a program while I "do not".
Stuff like that that just boils my blood thinking about it even now.

So what, she said that over a poem you could relate to? Jesus. B word indeed.
Marriage can be a whole different topic as well...
But the teachers thing, seeing their abusive behaviour spill even into college... If a person is against schools, they will make you hate the college and universities even more.

Ugh totally. For the most part I really liked my college professors. The first professor I had was by far the best but he has since left the school. I had other great teachers and then some not so great ones

 

[somniummalum]

This thread reminds me of the time when I packed up all my courage as a kid to tell my teacher (because I didn't know who could help me, police etc.) that I was being abused at home and none of them did ANYTHING about it.
Like straight ignored it, never talked about it again.

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

This thread reminds me of the time when I packed up all my courage as a kid to tell my teacher (because I didn't know who could help me, police etc.) that I was being abused at home and none of them did ANYTHING about it.
Like straight ignored it, never talked about it again.

I am so sorry you experienced that. Sadly it appears to be very common. That adults that we trust with our problems turn their backs on us. I feel many times most adults don't know what to do themselves. Still I feel any time a child talks about abuse there should be something done

 

[Aonewayticketplease]

I found that with a few exceptions they were morons.

Overgrown children who needed structure i their lives more than the children they taught.

 

[Living sucks]

I do believe our explanations sound more probable than theirs.

Unbelievable

sorry OP Truly .. teachers are legally mandatory reporters so red flags should have been raised when you spoke of abuse.
Do not let asshole teachers shake confidence in yourself.

 

[agentgeez]

I'm not dismissing their feelings, I'm questioning their (mis)interpretation of the teacher's intent. If their interpretation were correct, then their feelings are obviously completely understandable. But if not, they are way off the mark, and getting themselves down over a misunderstanding. Not sure how recently this incident occurred, but they are also potentially cutting off a positive source of support and authority in their life.

None of us know for sure which is the case, but based solely on the way the OP described things, I do believe our explanations sound more probable than theirs. And thus I was just giving this perspective to the OP for their consideration of a less pessimistic scenario.

I don't think addressing someone who is trying to be serious with you about a topic that's sensitive to them by cracking a joke is a good move in any circumstance. That's really the crux of OP's problem; they put work into a poem of serious tone, so they expected the teacher to take it as seriously as them; joking about it invalidates OP's feelings by making them feel as if broken marriages (and by extension, their parents' broken marriage) aren't a big deal. It's like if you were to tell someone about the death of your parents and they started making Batman jokes. It probably hurts even more because of the fact that it was a poem, like trying to paint something with a sad tone and then having your audience crack jokes about what the image reminds them of; it probably made them feel like they failed and that their poem was a joke.

 

[lostangel]

I've never had any extreme cases of idiot teachers. But I never understood how some teachers were so smart yet so dopey. Like they could solve hard maths sums but would be completely oblivious to other things like kids vaping in the back. It creates a strong smell.

 

[autumnal]

Unbelievable

On the balance of probabilities, I think what is probably more 'unbelievable' is that a teacher you get on well with would then suddenly insult you and deliberately diminish your feelings . It's also not clear whether the teacher was aware at the time of their initial reaction that the poem was specifically about OP's own parental situation, rather than a reflection on divorce more generally.

In the end it isn't really clear which is the case. OP hasn't elaborated further on this, and instead other members have simply become outraged on the OP's behalf. I will spell this out once again: my response to the OP was merely to highlight that there may have been a more optimistic explanation for the teacher's actions.

sorry OP Truly .. teachers are legally mandatory reporters so red flags should have been raised when you spoke of abuse.

Just for clarification, my questioning of intent was for the first teacher who read the poem. Not the second teacher who downplayed suggestions of abuse.

Do not let asshole teachers shake confidence in yourself.

Good advice, but equally important is: don't damage your own self-confidence by always assuming the worst intent behind a possibly ambiguous interaction.

I don't think addressing someone who is trying to be serious with you about a topic that's sensitive to them by cracking a joke is a good move in any circumstance. That's really the crux of OP's problem; they put work into a poem of serious tone, so they expected the teacher to take it as seriously as them; joking about it invalidates OP's feelings by making them feel as if broken marriages (and by extension, their parents' broken marriage) aren't a big deal. It's like if you were to tell someone about the death of your parents and they started making Batman jokes. It probably hurts even more because of the fact that it was a poem, like trying to paint something with a sad tone and then having your audience crack jokes about what the image reminds them of; it probably made them feel like they failed and that their poem was a joke.

I don't think there is enough evidence to suggest that the teacher was implying broken marriages aren't a big deal. The only thing we can really deduce with any certainty is that the teacher was cynically referring to the fact that OP's poem was evidence that broken marriages can occur, and are unpleasant enough to put the teacher off the idea of marriage.

Most teachers generally interact with students in one of two ways. The majority of teachers react to the majority of students completely by the book, in terms of saying things with only the most literal interpretation and zero potential for any ambiguity. They rightfully recognise that students are not fully developed adults, and tend to interpret things literally (especially when personally motivated to do so). However, some teachers identify and trust the intelligence and maturity of some students and can interact with them (verbally) in a more adult fashion, especially when talking one-to-one. Cynicism, sarcasm and genuine brutal honesty about the realities of life may be used in these interactions, on the understanding that the student is mature enough to understand these nuances in context.

Like most meta-discussions on the forum, this explanation and discussion of the response has now greatly outweighed both the size and significance of the response itself. I hope the OP can simply take my initial response as food for thought in the manner in which it was intended, whether or not they ultimately agree with my suggestion.