Are you too scared to go?

[Pictures of trickery]

I wish I was braver. I have nothing to live for now I can accept that. My life is truly unbearable. I spend every day crying until I give myself headaches and sore eyes. I just want to go so desperately. The thought of actually doing it terrifies me. Why should it be so hard?? I know for certain I do not want to jump. But everything else still scares me. I don't know what to do because I want to go but fear stops me.
I'm sure a lot of you are the same. It's a living hell

 

[Deleted member 18655]

I'm in that hell with you

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

You are definitely not alone. I got not much left, and i could go, but i fear that first step. I know i wont call ambulance and i even cant, i just feel big sadness and anxiety doing it alone, worrying that id fail until the end. Im still lost as well

 

[socrates]

Yeah it's terrible! I wish I had a button that I could just hit and be dead. But life can't be that easy. And then on top it I'm afraid of what comes next.

 

[Rue89]

I know the feeling. I've almost done it a few times and anxiety has stopped me everytime. I hope it won't stop me again.

 

[Living sucks]

I've got nothing. Accept SI

 

[Good4Nothing]

Yes...

 

[Pictures of trickery]

How do you all get through the days? Everyday I wake up thinking I cannot do another day. Yet here I am again.

 

[Darksektori]

Scared? Why should I be Scared? Guess it depends on the method, I suppose I'm scared I'm going to choose a route more agonizing then the one I previously chose, right now I'm in between self immolation or inhalant OD

Ehh I have to be outside for the first choice, though it is good bonfire weather though.

 

[Pictures of trickery]

I envy you then if you are not scared! I am scared of pain of what's it like to die. I'm scared that this is my only option now.

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

How do you all get through the days? Everyday I wake up thinking I cannot do another day. Yet here I am again.

I dont know. I wake up panicking, then crying. Doing my chores and then accepting my failure. Repeat untill sleep if i get any. Chant myself mantra that i will die one day. I used to fear dying, now i pray for it. When its horrible i come back here and search for anything.

 

[Pictures of trickery]

I dont know. I wake up panicking, then crying. Doing my chores and then accepting my failure. Repeat untill sleep if i get any. Chant myself mantra that i will die one day. I used to fear dying, now i pray for it. When its horrible i come back here and search for anything.

do you want to die? Because for me if I'm truly honest I don't. But I have no other option because my pain is too much

 

[Good4Nothing]

How do you all get through the days? Everyday I wake up thinking I cannot do another day. Yet here I am again.

I get through the days because I'm less afraid of life than I am of death.
I'm only afraid of death because I don't know what is, other than the end of all things.
I don't know what life has in store for me. Something bad? Something good?
There's always a small chance of something good, at least for me.
I know what death has in store. Nothing. Death is the end of possibility.

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

do you want to die? Because for me if I'm truly honest I don't. But I have no other option because my pain is too much

I understand you, and i really do want to die. But i cant afford possibility of failure in this situation

 

[mathieu]

I'm terrified. That's why I'm still here.

 

[decafcoffee]

its too depressing to think of myself having to die any way that isnt peacefully in my sleep. i deserve so much better. if i had a gun that would probably do it for me, rather than a less failproof method. fear of failure is overwhelming, i mean, i have clinical anxiety for fucks sake. i was going to do SN then i couldnt figure out how to even get some, id probably try that because theres no risk involved. goddamn it.

 

[Pictures of trickery]

its too depressing to think of myself having to die any way that isnt peacefully in my sleep. i deserve so much better. if i had a gun that would probably do it for me, rather than a less failproof method. fear of failure is overwhelming, i mean, i have clinical anxiety for fucks sake. i was going to do SN then i couldnt figure out how to even get some, id probably try that because theres no risk involved. goddamn it.

I looked into sn but seems a bitch to get hold of I'm in the uk and it just seems like hassle.

 

[decafcoffee]

I looked into sn but seems a bitch to get hold of I'm in the uk and it just seems like hassle.

its about as appealing as hanging to me, i may just end up hanging myself. my problem is i went and looked at pictures of dead people who used sn and then i saw pictures of dead people who hanged themselves and it just makes me feel so cold and shivery like im in a nightmare, thinking about my body ending up all spooky like that is extremely creepy. and such a sad end to a life so incredibly full of struggle. i went through so much just to end up killing myself anyway?! i feel really creeped out and sad about the whole thing. like people have spirits in their body when they are alive, and they make jokes and maybe they made death into just another joke but once they die they become scary and creepy and haunting even if they were perfectly good people and full of personality and would never want to scare or terrify anyone. its just the creepiest fucking thing ever, i dont even like dead bugs!

 

[Marktheghost]

I'm concerned about pain and suffering caused by my suicide method, and the possibility of it not working. I'm not scared of death itself though. Why should I be scared of death?

 

[SpottedPanda]

A part of me is scared to go, but I think that's natural.

Mostly it's about the ease at which a method can be pulled off. I've heard, and have said myself, people wanting to flip a switch and be dead. If that were possible many people would have just gone already.

I feel there are so many complications that can occur, and the acquisition of needed components such a chore, plus the minefield of complexity you discover when researching methods just makes dying of your own hand insufferably complicated.

I have faith I'll find a method I consider easy and accessible, and as long as it's no grim ordeal to go through with, I feel I can be successful.

 

[4giveme]

Im not scared to go at all but i am scared of the pain moments or before CTB, like both physically on myself and mentally for my family and friends! Thats why i prefer the SN method where i can pass away peacefully. i find comfort in writing in my diary to all my loved ones explaining how much they mean to me and have made sure that they are aware that i am happy and am happy with my decision and am no longer in pain

 

[HappyMstake]

I am scared but not because of the pain or being gone forever, I'm more scared about failing again more than anything, and everyone actually ending up finding out and trying to put me in some kind of asylum or something.

 

[Pictures of trickery]

I am scared but not because of the pain or being gone forever, I'm more scared about failing again more than anything, and everyone actually ending up finding out and trying to put me in some kind of asylum or something.

thats a fear of mine too. If I fail I'll probably end up in a mental health hospital for a bit which I don't want. I wish people would understand that sometimes just sometimes we don't want help or saving

 

[Seagirl]

Yes, as well as being useless at everything I do I am also clearly a coward. Too scared of failing & ending up paralysed or unable to communicate. Its cruel keeping us alive

 

[Notwinnernotawin]

Yes. Because I'm scared to leave my loved ones alone and who knows what's on the other side.

 

[RileyTanaka]

I'm not as scared about the other side, but I am afraid of my method failing. I am also afraid of the consequences if I survive...

 

[serah]

The idea of failing the attempt is what scares me the most.

 

[Pictures of trickery]

I found someone comfort in knowing you all share the same feelings as me. No one in my life understands the pain.

 

[Aeathelina]

I'm scared of feeling the dying process than actual death. Oh and a failed violent attempt like a hanging or gunshot because I don't want to live with another set of consequences.

 

[TheRaul95]

How do you all get through the days? Everyday I wake up thinking I cannot do another day. Yet here I am again.

Reminds me of: Why are we still here? Just to suffer?...