Discussion Are you throwing away your belongings before ctb?

[kirillbledny]

I have so much stuff and no energy to sort through it all/throw it all out. I got rid of my old journals and other very personal stuff, but my room is full of items I've not used in years, my wardrobe is overflowing but I only wear a few items from it. I feel like the right decision would be to get rid of most of my items by donating or selling them, but I'm just too exhausted to do that.

What are you guys doing with your belongings?

 

[w4itingforthesun]

this is something i think about a lot i have a lot of merch related to my interests and a lot of clothes, childhood things, a pc and consoles, etc and i just dunno what i should do w them. i think i would tell my parents to sell them to make back at least any money they've spent on me, or i would try to sell stuff myself before i go. or maybe i would leave it and tell my parents and friends to do literally whatever they want with it.

 

[GoodOleJasper]

no energy for that. I'll just get rid of very personal stuff. already did that with journals and some photos. still a few things left.

 

[kirillbledny]

or maybe i would leave it and tell my parents and friends to do literally whatever they want with it.

I tried giving some of my stuff away to my friend but he didn't want it, I guess cuz he knows I'm suicidal

no energy for that. I'll just get rid of very personal stuff. already did that with journals and some photos. still a few things left.

Yeah, I'm the same, I'll wipe my devices too

 

[w4itingforthesun]

I tried giving some of my stuff away to my friend but he didn't want it, I guess cuz he knows I'm suicidal

i'd only really consider giving my pc and consoles to friends since all my other stuff i dont think anyone i know would want anyways. i have so much stuff i plan to sell and ive been sitting on it for a year by now

 

[Forveleth]

I live with my partner. He gets to deal with all of my junk.

 

[enso]

I have so much stuff and no energy to sort through it all/throw it all out. I got rid of my old journals and other very personal stuff, but my room is full of items I've not used in years, my wardrobe is overflowing but I only wear a few items from it. I feel like the right decision would be to get rid of most of my items by donating or selling them, but I'm just too exhausted to do that.

What are you guys doing with your belongings?

Hi!

Why would it matter? What is the difference if you get rid of them or do not?

 

[kirillbledny]

Hi!

Why would it matter? What is the difference if you get rid of them or do not?

I live with my family and I don't want to burden them with getting rid of all my things, other than that it doesn't really matter I suppose. It shouldn't really bother me since I won't be there anyway, but I also wish I could just be wiped off the face of the Earth like I was never there

 

[enso]

I live with my family and I don't want to burden them with getting rid of all my things, other than that it doesn't really matter I suppose. It shouldn't really bother me since I won't be there anyway, but I also wish I could just be wiped off the face of the Earth like I was never there

Thanks for your response!

How do you think, if you CTB, will your family really care about your belongings in first place? Secondly, sometimes it can be easier for them if they have something that reminds them of you - clothes with your smell, as an example.
Well, and of course, when it comes to burden - funerals can be much harder with all factors combined than many other things.

And if it is not the secret, what have made you to come to that final solution? Have you talked about it with someone IRL?

 

[3rdworldsadness]

I have some journal thinking about burning them. But apart that I have nothing to throw away and I don't care about stuffs.

 

[supersupercomplex]

i'll likely end up selling them, or asking my family to do so in a note. to me, it would feel disrespectful to just throw them away.

 

[PeaceSeeker83]

I've got rid of a few items this year but will still leave a fair few items which will be taken to any charity shops via my wishes. Or to waste recycling centres as stated in my notes.

 

[kirillbledny]

Thanks for your response!

How do you think, if you CTB, will your family really care about your belongings in first place? Secondly, sometimes it can be easier for them if they have something that reminds them of you - clothes with your smell, as an example.

Well, and of course, when it comes to burden - funerals can be much harder with all factors combined than many other things.

True, thankfully my family doesn't really do traditional funerals, I have had 3 relatives die in the last 4 years and all of them were cremated and their urns kept at home. My note does say I want my ashes to be spread in nature, and it's technically illegal for a family to ignore their loved one's last will like that, no one is actually gonna check that. And I suppose I won't be here anyway, so either way I won't know.

And if it is not the secret, what have made you to come to that final solution? Have you talked about it with someone IRL?

I did, but it's complicated. I posted about it earlier, I'll copy and paste it: "It's really hard for people to comprehend that. If I say I don't want a job, they'll suggest different kinds of jobs, or going back into education so I could get better jobs, but the reason I don't want one is because nothing it'd bring me (money, living alone, going out, travelling, etc.) appeals to me. I don't wanna go out, I don't wanna make friends, I don't wanna look on the bright side and constantly try to convince myself to enjoy this existence.I wanna be dead, I wish I never existed so I didn't have to off myself, actually.

No one in my life actually gets this perspective on life. You can't medicate a philosophy, and I don't wanna go to therapy to try to make myself want these things, when I truly don't care about any of that at all."

So I did talk to a bunch of people (mostly family and my best friend) very openly, because my first attempt was at 13yo, so there's no pretending I'm stable. And a lot of them said different things, like that every day of their life is gonna ruined forever, or that everyone loves me, or even worrying that my soul will be damaged if I rip it apart from my body prematurely etc. My biggest issue is that I don't want any of what lofe offer me, there's a bunch of different things I could do, but for what? I don't think I actually have that suicidal tunnel vision, I get I'm only 23 and if I put my effort into something, I could achieve things. It's just that I'm so over life, over people being horrible to me, that the cons outweigh the pros. I don't wanna get into specifics, but I suffered a lot in my life.

Sorry for such a long reply haha, I just think about this a lot, even tho I can talk to people about feeling this way, no one actually gets past the point of "omg, please don't do it cuz how would I feel!"

 

[ctb_warrior]

I'll not do anything.
I'll just format all my devices.
I'll schedule transferring of all my money to my father's account. So that, in case I survive, i can cancel the transfer. Otherwise, the transfer will make him suspicious.
I mostly have books and learning materials and gadgets apart from clothes and accessories.
In the note, I'll write that i don't want a post mortem on my body, my method of ctb was sn.
And i don't want my parents to be harassed by the police or any legalities.
I'll add that, I'm responsible for my death, no one else is. It's my conscious decision and no one and nothing could stop me from this. This step was inevitable.

 

[JaydenGaming702]

I'd probably sell them to a pawn shop, some of the money for preparations, and some for me to give it away/ treat my friend to food

 

[enso]

True, thankfully my family doesn't really do traditional funerals, I have had 3 relatives die in the last 4 years and all of them were cremated and their urns kept at home. My note does say I want my ashes to be spread in nature, and it's technically illegal for a family to ignore their loved one's last will like that, no one is actually gonna check that. And I suppose I won't be here anyway, so either way I won't know.

I did, but it's complicated. I posted about it earlier, I'll copy and paste it: "It's really hard for people to comprehend that. If I say I don't want a job, they'll suggest different kinds of jobs, or going back into education so I could get better jobs, but the reason I don't want one is because nothing it'd bring me (money, living alone, going out, travelling, etc.) appeals to me. I don't wanna go out, I don't wanna make friends, I don't wanna look on the bright side and constantly try to convince myself to enjoy this existence.I wanna be dead, I wish I never existed so I didn't have to off myself, actually.

No one in my life actually gets this perspective on life. You can't medicate a philosophy, and I don't wanna go to therapy to try to make myself want these things, when I truly don't care about any of that at all."

So I did talk to a bunch of people (mostly family and my best friend) very openly, because my first attempt was at 13yo, so there's no pretending I'm stable. And a lot of them said different things, like that every day of their life is gonna ruined forever, or that everyone loves me, or even worrying that my soul will be damaged if I rip it apart from my body prematurely etc. My biggest issue is that I don't want any of what lofe offer me, there's a bunch of different things I could do, but for what? I don't think I actually have that suicidal tunnel vision, I get I'm only 23 and if I put my effort into something, I could achieve things. It's just that I'm so over life, over people being horrible to me, that the cons outweigh the pros. I don't wanna get into specifics, but I suffered a lot in my life.

Sorry for such a long reply haha, I just think about this a lot, even tho I can talk to people about feeling this way, no one actually gets past the point of "omg, please don't do it cuz how would I feel!"

Oh, it's a wonderful and detailed reply, no need to apologize!

It is good to know, that cremation is common in your culture! It, indeed, is much easier than regular funerals with coffins and processions.

If it comes to your own philosophy and you don't feel suffering due to other external factors - it is totally okey!
If it comes to suffering due to need to work or to be suit for social standards - CTB there is totally okey too! And with that, if it is the matter, some antidepressants can really help some people with similar mental conditions. What do you think about medical treatment? It can really influence of how much these things, like a job, education and etc. "weigh" for you in life. Would you be open to it, if it could make your life more bearable?

 

[kirillbledny]

...some antidepressants can really help some people with similar mental conditions. What do you think about medical treatment? It can really influence of how much these things, like a job, education and etc. "weigh" for you in life. Would you be open to it, if it could make your life more bearable?

Thank you for your reply :)
I have been in treatment, tried 13 different psych meds over 7yrs, even been hospitalised, went to therapy etc. I kinda lost hope in the psychiatric system/science. I've thought about ctb and different possible treatment options for about a year now, but I always end up at the same conclusion.

 

[valar_morghulis21]

I have so much stuff and no energy to sort through it all/throw it all out. I got rid of my old journals and other very personal stuff, but my room is full of items I've not used in years, my wardrobe is overflowing but I only wear a few items from it. I feel like the right decision would be to get rid of most of my items by donating or selling them, but I'm just too exhausted to do that.

What are you guys doing with your belongings?

I don't have much. Valuable things like electronic device and some toys I'll pack them up and return to my family

 

[enso]

Thank you for your reply :)
I have been in treatment, tried 13 different psych meds over 7yrs, even been hospitalised, went to therapy etc. I kinda lost hope in the psychiatric system/science. I've thought about ctb and different possible treatment options for about a year now, but I always end up at the same conclusion.

You've made so much effort, you really did!

Considering your previous experience, I really just wish the best to you in the way you see for yourself! Whatever decision you take, it would be the best for you, because no one really lived trough your live, had your experiences and struggles!